Monday, March 12, 2007

catch-up time! not that there's much to catch up with.

see, it's been a couple of years, and we all know i'm not one to drink much alcohol, and i guess i just got bored of the feeling of sobriety or something like that, so i went and got myself another concussion again! huzzah! so since last sunday, i've felt dizzy, headachy, somewhat stuttery, sleepy, heady, surreal, and/or bitchy. it's great fun. best part? no bruises! at least not on my head. no, i managed to bump into a pole because i didn't see it, but just the jolt of the sudden impact, slow approach aside, was enough to jostle my brain enough for a pretty decent concussion. in some ways, worse than last time.

same as before, i'm struggling with that whole "just rest" idea. because here's the thing: i'm supposed to rest the thing i hurt, but the thing i hurt is my brain. so i can try to not watch movies or tv or screen and keep my eyes closed to periods at a time. or i can try to not listen to music and dwell in silence. or i can sit on the couch and "take it easy" despite the fact that the rest of my body is screaming to run or jump or stretch or whathaveyou. but y'know what? you take away all that, and all you do is think. and in the end, thinking is using the brain, right? though miss doctors have told me to sleep, don't watch screens, don't read (which isn't hard to avoid anyways, reading makes me downright woozy still), but music is okay, and yoga-ish exercises are okay. problem is, getting to the yoga place. so instead i do half-assed yoga routines at home until i get bored of them. which doesn't take long.

the problem is that i have so many ideas right now: projects to do, things to make, photos to print, paintings to paint, music to write, but they're all just beyond my reach. as soon as i try to grab one of them and turn it into reality, it disappears and i can't remember it well enough to make it real. and it's getting really annoying. and instead i'm resorting to leaving them alone, letting them float around in the mists knowing that they're brilliant and letting them remain brilliant, hoping that they'll still be there when i'm a bit more talented. or maybe a bit less concussed. either way, at least a bit more motivated. and confident.

unfortunately, however, this, along with the fact that i'm poor and unable to go out and spend money to hang out with friends, and don't want to go out anyways because too much noise or too much action around me still just makes me queasy at the moment and i'd rather just sit around and doze at the moment, is making me rather bored. by which i mean, bored to tears half the time.

so in an effort to relieve my boredom, and in an effort to make mundane things a little bit more fun, today my home became La Playa for an afternoon. fortunately karl showed up planning to paint his cardboard boat, so it seemed to fit into the theme pretty well. we turned up the heat and turned on the bright lights (it's nice when heat and electricity are included in the rent), played beach/summertime music, drank fruity drinks, ate ice cream and chips, went for dips in the water* -- so nice and warm!, drew a beachy landscape on the wall, pretended that the sound of rain was really the sound of the ocean, and invited people over to do the mundane boring work they'd be doing at home anyways. but here, they got to do it at La Playa. because La Playa was awesome. is awesome. and will be. awesome.
* read: shower

and you know what i just realised? today was the first day of daylight savings. or is the first day without it, i never know. i think it's the first day with. at any rate, the only reason i've ever heard for having daylight savings is how it supposedly saves energy, which from all i've ever read and heard, is apparently utterly false even though policymakers would like to think that it's true. i guess La Playa helped to contribute to the energy-wasting reality after all that. though... well, we were using flourescent bulbs and LCD twinkle lights, if that's worth anything.

likely not.

well. instead, in the meantime:


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