Wednesday, March 22, 2006

good day, bad day. got to chat with rahul for the first time in months. got to talk to dj buttertart in not-quite-as-long-a-time. only had to have one tylenol -- this whole "rest" thing might actually be useful, y'know? got (sought) assurances that it's okay to be resting still. found aspects of myself through television shows. did some work. realised i'm very behind in something i didn't even realise was going on still. opened up way too many cans of worms and overwhelmed a stranger with them. realised that i didn't bounce back near as quickly as i remembered last time i had surgery. used mockery and cynicism as self-defense. helped a friend quit a job that's killing her. confessed some things to my sister, who tried to suggest solutions. agreed that lists are useful. found a [theoretically] great new place to live, which started me thinking about what the hell i'm actually going to do in a few weeks' time. got depressed. missed my cat.

all of this from the comfort of the bed. at least there's a pretty view and a big window. and it smelled nice outside what with the rain and all.

i know that everyone's got their troubles and problems and their own version of crazy, but i really wish i believed that, and believed that mine wasn't worse than everyone else's. or, at least, i wish i had people to admit mine to without feeling like a whining idiot.

maybe tomorrow i find out i don't need crutches much longer. maybe maybe maybe!

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