Wednesday, March 01, 2006

i've never seen these with my own eyes. obviously, then, i have to go back to france to take my own photos of them!

i've been postponing writing something here not because i've been busy, necessarily, but because i don't really know how to write it yet. last week, even this week (so far) have been tough. last week got better by midweek, but at one point it dawned on me that if i'd said what i was really thinking out loud to anyone, i'd end up being put on suicide watch. fortunately that was enough to snap me into trying to do something. unfortunately "doing something" at work meant getting a lecture from someone i don't deserve to be lectured by, but at this point it's not worth it to point out that for all their comments about "i don't deserve to be treated like this", i was doing exactly what had to be done, and i really didn't deserve to be treated the way that they were treating me. but i don't want to get into that argument.

it still irks me, though.

at any rate. radio therapy does wonders. and buying cinnamon rolls.

the funny thing about this bout of depression is that it's not something i have the need to "get out of" this time. if nothing else, i actually need to explore it this time, even though it sucks and makes me feel miserable at times. something about "addressing" instead of "avoiding". lawrence called it "maturity" or something like that. ha ha.

so. i might not always be in the best of moods for the next while. doesn't mean anything. if you see me around the radio station, chances are you won't notice it (unless i haven't slept or eaten in too long . . . sorry!).

or something. no more procrastination, got too much work to do!

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