it's a collection of songs i like, mixed with a few things that i promised to send to various people.
i've lost the clarity of mind that i'd rediscovered during my trip. and some of that not-depressed sense of contentedness. in fact, at this point, i'm lucky that i'm retaining most of my regained semblance of "good posture". it sounds worse than it actually is, i think. the searching for "the right songs" is helping. having people over here tonight (where i don't need to leave the house to hang out with folks!) will probably also help -- provided i don't end up having to look after anything. so if you're one of the people coming, please be a good guest. please? yes, i'm paranoid. accept it.
a few amazing things from this past week:
- realising how much i love being in classes
- snapping at someone in apprehension because of who i thought was touching my hair. it wasn't them, but they heard the aggression in my voice and stopped. oh, snap!
- re-evaluating my impressions of various people, and realising how much they'd changed
- 10-pin goofy bowling
- a good board meeting
what i really want right now is someone that'll let me talk to them all about myself, and all my self-analysis, and indulge me and not get bored and not tell me off for being self-absorbed. and i know i talk about myself a lot, but i say it's because i'm too busy holding back the things that i really want to say. because it's bad manners and rude to be wrapped up in yourself.
fuck miss manners.
next month i get to learn how to write about dance. with any luck, i'll be able to afford the workshop, too. writing about dance . . . and then being in a workshop for it, which means sharing what i wrote with others . . . it's almost as terrifying as improvisation! well, go go go new years' resolutions!