Tuesday, June 28, 2005

so itchy.

i feel so priviledged. i'm co-hosting with the sexiest voice on CJSF. he also may have the boringest blog in the world. he says. if it's true i owe him a hot chocolate with soy milk. i'm trying to decide if the mosiac-style pictures of the brain and the heart make it interesting or not.

he talks to himself a lot.

but then all the VAAGGG-ers are weird.

we did good. we threw the best volunteer party ever. there were bands. and baseball. and burgers. and (triple)B's. and beers. and beautiful people. and bizarre people. and brits. and (Ham)burgers. like, people from the place, not the food.

peter won lots of lube. i won CBC swag for being a free thinker. jo got lots of tea for being a keener. ed got green stuff for his umms and uhhs. sean won free music for being a PR hack. lots of other people won lots of other prizes. i was just happy we had so many cool ones (and still do have them . . . all ready for next year!).

dj buttertart showed off his John Casablanca skills on saturday afternoon at the park. it was part of the entertainment for everyone sitting on the stairs. or something. here were gerbil-sized hairballs blowing in the street the next morning. he just snipped some more hair. it might be done. it might not be. i don't think it is yet. we might have to start dying it later this week. so far it's taken 3 days.

and then we discovered the waterfalls in diego's room.

the house is becoming more and more of an issue. which is tragic, because i do love it: the location, the collective, the setup, the empty street, everything. except the water leakage. and the mold. and the lack of permit. and so on. but it is cheap rent. oh, dilemma . . .

peter's talking to himself right now again. he amuses himself so.

goodnight.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

i finally bought q-tips. and many other things. among them: tuna, nutella, pro-v, milk, black bean soup, havarti, peaches, popcorn, soup, trail mix, and bananas.

it's all at work. i'm unlikely to starve in the next 6 months.

touch my food and die.

Monday, June 20, 2005

10 things:

1. chris, email me. i'm researching french swear words, but tell me things in the meantime. like what you think of the new batman.
2. treasure-hunting tomorrow. wish me luck.
3. combat, baby.
4. listen between 5:00 and 8:00 pm PST on monday.
5. only once here: i loved batman begins, and i want a christian bale of my very own. if you have a spare, please consider donating him.
6. poutine, baby.
7. for the first time in eons i felt the frustrating part of being 14 all over again.
8. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. waa-wah waa-wah waa-wah waa-wah!
ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. waa-wah waa-wah waa-wah waa-wah!
9. today, my home didn't come to me. i had to go to it. two times over.
10. fingers burst, baby.

fewer points, more development next time.

Friday, June 17, 2005

random advice i've given/gotten in the past week:

"don't eat leftover popcorn."

"if you suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth right now, everything would keep on going. although whatever it is that you're doing may be great or good, ultimately, you're not worth that much in the grand scheme of things. so relax."

"get the shorter ones, they fit better."

"you actually know these things. they don't know anything more than you do. start asserting what you actually think."

"righty-tighty, lefty-loosey!"

"drop it with the guilt, already!"

"be selfish first. not to the detriment of those around you, but make sure that whatever you decide is a path that you're ultimately content with. and be honest about it to yourself as well as those around you. if you're conceding to something for the sake of another, remember that they're going to have to put up with a not-happy you. and, if you're not happy with your choice, will you actually be able to follow through on it and be fair to those around you?"

"you don't actually have anything to say, stop trying to keep talking."

"talk to the G.O. - they know these things."

"pick it up!"

Monday, June 13, 2005

living in coquitlam is like being on ho- ho- holiday!

granted, there is the seclusion of the suburbs. and fewer people to run into in your own house to procrastinate with awhile. but there are lovely large windows, a great many trees, rivers, inkpens, J&Ks, daniel, cats, Internet, fresh air, sounds of parks, super-healthy home-cooked meals, fewer chores, . . . .

i don't mind being here at all right now.

* * * * *


when i was little, Unsolved Mysteries kinda creeped me out. i only watched it once or twice, but i remember feeling a little paranoid afterwards. the inexplicable was what made me uncomfortable, i think. nessie didn't scare me, ogopogo didn't, sasquatch didn't, because hey, if those were real, they were some creature that we just didn't know about. and nessie's a plesiasaur. oak island was exciting. the lost gold mines were interesting. the people who disappeared into thin air frightened me.

and then there were aliens.

i remember reading magazines talking about grey-skinned aliens and starting to fear that they'd come and take me away and do tests on me. the tests weren't the scary part. the being-abducted was.

and so i'd hide. because, you see, for some strange reason, even though these creatures were able to come millions of miles and zap people up into their spaceships, in my mind they were foiled by the simple invention of walls. sure, i was worried that an alien would come and whisk me away in my sleep, but if i crunched myself right up close to the wall, just beyond someone's line of sight (if they happened to be looking in from the right angle, because we all know that they wouldn't be able to move over a little and get a nice clean view of me, that's just not how it goes!), and maybe even cover my head up with the blanket (leaving just enough of a hole to get fresh air), then they wouldn't see me. and they wouldn't bother me. and i'd be safe.

i should mention that it's not like i went to sleep terrified every night. it was only if i'd been thinking about aliens a little too much that day. in all seriousness, i remember feeling scared about it maybe . . . three times? that's it. and i was young. don't mock me.

and it worked! never been abducted, as far as i know. saw a UFO or two when we were on holiday on galiano island 14 years ago, but they never took me! it's funny, though. thinking about it now, i'm not so scared that they'll dissect me or inject me or whatever. i'm not even as worried about them taking me anymore. i'm scared that they're there, and i don't know why or what they are. fear of the unknown, that's what it is, not fear of what may come.

course now, after learning all about new conspiracy theories and unsolved mysteries of history, i'm a little antsy again. but fortunately there's clouds in the sky tonight. so at least the aliens won't be able to see me.

. . . it's a good thing i still have more beowulf translation to do, to get my mind off this.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

when it rains, it pours.

i've moved to coquitlam for a little while. long enough to do many many many loads of laundry, to get a bit of good sleep, to get over a fear of mold spores, to get to the dentist tomorrow morning, and to get a good meal or two. or half of one. MOUTH ACHES SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

unfortunately i'm going to have to find a new mattress. and wait until my room dries out from the water that's been seeping in from the floor. and then i can move back in.

in a roundabout way, though, it's good timing. and harvey's good enough to give me a week's grace, and let me miss a few classes in a row because of everything i'm dealing with. and i get to make use of my dad's friends' professions to make things better for our house. and i get excuses to stay over at friends' places, giving me reasons to visit people i haven't seen much of lately. and i get to use the shower of awesome at coquitlam!house. lovely.

today was forum. today was also VAAGGG planning party. one was oh so much fun. one reminded me of tago mago and coming up with inane plans for the hell of it. one of them reminded me why keeping hobbies separate from work is a good thing. one of them made me glad i'm a radio geek. one of them involved a great deal of mockery of hipsters, sullenness, politics, and geeks. one of them gave me a lot of ideas for summertime, and the confidence that they'll actually work out.

we decided that the VAAGGG after after party will be held at the VAG. VAAGGG at the VAG. don't you wish you were invited. well, one person reading this is. maybe two. you know who you are.

BE THERE.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

. . . peak freans are a very important cookie! to eat!

oh, to be five years old again, listening to radio ads . . . for cookies. you just don't hear that anymore, do you.

remind me to buy q-tips on the way home tomorrow.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

i should be at home, asleep, getting ready for FUN OH FUN the planning retreat for the board this weekend. because i need to be downtown at 9:30 in the morning. with a bunch of stuff. i'm not sure if i'll be able to transit it or not yet.

instead, i'm at the radio station, where i just spent 45 minutes playing on air because the people who were doing their show left in a huff (well, one of them at least) because the needles were broken.

hrsta, my love, i will never stop playing you. not until i find a new love, at least. you and half-handed cloud. you're my comfort music these days. and jessica fletchers. will you all marry me? i can handle polygamy . . . for you, at least!

someone left four gaudy plastic flower rings and one gaudy plastic flower-shaped bracelet in my mailbox at the station. whoever it was, i thank you. they're a little difficult to wear while typing, but they're easter colours. how can it not brighten your day?

at the moment, i will not be surprised to go to the van and find it either stolen, or broken into. it's one of those sorts of days. without any exaggeration. i won't complain here, i've complained enough today, but short of contracting some deadly disease (though it's not too late for the newly-crowned tooth to develop an infection and kill me over the weekend, still), i don't know what could have made today much worse. everything's late, everything's falling apart, everything's breaking, everything's going wrong. this whole week has been like that. and every time something else bad happens, it crosses my mind that you know, that's a lot of bad things to happen in one week . . . but amazingly it's not quite gotten to me yet. or hadn't. today may have been the limit. it was pretty bad. i'm lying, of course. it was a horrible day, that's no lie. but i haven't been unhappily upset about it. upset, yes, but with the dark humour and sarcastic, self-deprecating complaining that you all know and love of me. and because of the peak. the peak was like a haven today. so cheerful. so sarcastic. so much good music. so much like a dysfunctional family. so fun.

i miss the peak. i miss weekly layout. to be able to play with images on a screen for a little while and come up with something snazzy and eye-catching and possibly-lame-but-funny, to be able to set something that everyone will read the next week, to be able to kern -- oh, kerning! -- and have everything fit in just right, is lovely. oh, oh, oh kerning. everyone has some sort (or sorts) of obsessive-compulsive thing(s) they need to do. one of mine is kerning. making everything fit nicely and look perfect on a page, making lines longer or shorter as need be, making sure that no paragraph ends at the top of a column or begins at the bottom of another. if i was god, i think i'd take the most pride in things like fingernails and snowflake edges and the sparkles of a bubbling stream. overall, sure, it'd look nice, but those little touches, the things that came by accident, id clip those out and save them, all those tiny little images with torn edges, all parts of a whole but never the whole thing, and tape them to a wall. or ceiling. or fridge. i'd make a collage of them. a collage of my perfections.

screw the whole picture! i'd say. the tip of this leaf, that red streak that runs through it, that's perfection! who needs the whole thing when you have that?

sure, the whole language might sound a little silly, but you have sounds like the "oouu" in "caribou" and the "uuu" in "youuu" and the "rrr" in "svetr"! the big things are the details, not the little things. the little things are the fun part. the big things are the parts that get dull in the long run.

so tired. so late. so should go home. so good night.

Friday, June 03, 2005

last night titus gregory and i screamed together in the middle of the granville street bridge. it's true, there's very little better than a good, long, loud scream.

last night i learned the difference between acting under my best beliefs and acting as a representative of others' opinions . . . when they're not your own.

last night i hung out in the street outside my house for awhile. it was grand.

it's remarkable what a difference having a street that you can actually play in can make. the street i live on now is usually pretty busy. but as of last sunday, it's closed to traffic until the end of summer for construction. on sunday i danced around in the mud awhile, and DJ Buttertart, dave, and i played football (fine, soccer) in the middle of the street and met more of my neighbours than i have in the entire time i've lived here. some of them even played with us. i've walked home in the middle of the street every night since then. so it's a little trickier to drive home (not really), and so there's construction sounds during the day, but really, they're not that annoying. and it's awesome to have such a quiet, play-friendly neighbourhood when it gets dark.

i have been far to excited about this all week. i'm not going to get over the joy of 12th ave being closed to traffic for a good long time. so come over one night and play ball with me. or the guy down the street's set up a street hockey net and is leaving sticks outside his house for anyone to use. or maybe we'll just play in the mud or sit in the concrete pipes awhile. construction sites make the best playgrounds.