Monday, January 31, 2005

so i want that place. i do i do i do. so now, it's just a hope hope hope that they pick me!

something happened today. thoughts and feelings were set straight, and we're both on the same page today, and maybe i'll get to visit him april, and maybe i won't, but it'll depend on him now. and i know that's what's best and what works most fairly for both of us and it's what i expected would have to happen even awhile back, but didn't want to accept it.

but i'm still sad about it.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

i've got the next 16 hours to decide whether i'm serious about moving to the drive in march or not. i'm thinking i may as well. ironically, of course, daniel and i just spent the last while chatting and bonding some more. because i haven't been home all week and sleeping over at school instead.

HMMMMMMMMM.

so let's talk about eye contact, shall we?

i like eye contact. eye contact pulls you into situations. eye contact makes sure you stay connected to the conversation. eye contact lets you know someone's interested in you (not just attraction-wise). eye contact is fuckin sexy.

and when you can't make eye contact with someone, you know something's wrong.

this week, i realised that i find it difficult to stay focused on one person's eyes because i think it's misinterpreted. i spent awhile talking to someone else who has possibly the most intensive eye contact i've ever come across -- afterwards one person commented how creepy it was. i thought it was a huge turn-on. and then i spent time completely unable to really make eye contact with someone, and i have no idea why. it wasn't intimidation. it wasn't misinterpretation. maybe there was some unspoken challenge in the air. whatever it was, it made it near impossible to look them in the eyes.

i don't know if anyone else every gets this, but often, in my dreams, i find that i can't see peoples' faces. i know who people are, but it's as though there's a heavy heavy weight on my sight that won't let me look above their shoulders at their faces. if i manage to strain enough to look up, their faces are usually a blur.

that was what it was like with that person. very strange. i almost felt like a had a crick in my neck afterwards, from being unable to look up.

eye contact's weird. amazingly effective, though.


ALSO: not trying to sound flaky and ditzy, but. this week some things happened at the paper office that involved some pretty bad emotions. personally, i don't think they were dealt with very well at all, and i'm actually rather offended by some of them. however, that's not the point of this anecdote. the point is that for the first time i can think of, i was actually physically conscious of the negative energy that was going about.

see, on wednesday, the closer i got to the office later on in the day, the more ill i felt. couldn't figure out why. started to worry that i'd picked up whatever disease caelan had over the weekend. and when i got into the office, i had to talk to someone, and stepped into their office just as they finished a mini-meeting with someone else. i didn't know what it was about at the time, but found out later that they'd been discussing what was involved in demanding that someone resign. at the time, though, i just popped in to get some info, but within a minute i felt positively ill and ready to throw up or pass out or something. couldn't figure it out, and was even more concerned that i was sick, and i had to cut the conversation short because i couldn't even take in what was being said. after the official announcement had been made, the atmosphere got slightly better, but not much, and it wasn't until i left for class that i suddenly started feeling well again.

still haven't come down with any flu, so i don't think it was a bug anymore. i'm just amazed negative energy could make me feel that way, though. and it worries me, because i have a feeling it's going to last in the office there for awhile. i hope i'm wrong, though.


should sleep. get to sleep in MY bed tonight! first time since tuesday!

so. should i move or not?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

there was sunshine today.

it was warm enough to be in a t-shirt.

i skipped my second class in 2 weeks. this doesn't bode well for the future. hopefully Galacticontoniomojoba went, because my other class contact skipped, too.

we pretended to do ballet today. i learned that i can only dream of ever actually being coordinated and graceful. s'alright. i came to terms with being a klutz years ago.

i don't think that i'll ever overcome my fear of shots or needles taking away my blood. every time my fear and freakouts just get worse. the anticipation of the whole thing is probably to blame. i'm sure it provides some sort of amusement for the nurses, though. still, she didn't have to show my that they were taking 7 vials of blood today, because even though i'm skinny enough that the blood loss alone probably explains a lot of my mood today, the mental stress of the whole ordeal probably only added to it.

and i get to do more in another week or so! huzzah! but it's only 2 vials then. and a tetanus shot around the same time, too. though anyone and everyone who punches my arm the day after will deserve whatever payback i give them.

still, i have to admit that the break that came of indulging in my own exhaustion and fears was lovely. got out of class, skipped tutoring, excused meself of any guilt of spending time talking to people rather than being productive.

that said, i still want aerin to add to my tattoo. because that's a whole other mental construct, but one that doesn't touch the whole phobia section of my brain at all. might make no sense to you. your loss.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

tonight i made a left turn at a corner and didn't realise until too late that there had been someone wanting to walk across then (though she hadn't actually left the sidewalk yet) -- these things happen when there's a bunch of other people around, most of whom aren't trying to cross, and especially when that one person who does try is wearing all black at nighttime. anyways, the girl that didn't cross before i turned mouthed "Thanks a lot, bitch" with the utmost clarity, just in case my lipreading skills weren't up to par.

pissed me off. because even as i turned, as soon as i saw her, i mouthed an apology and made the "oh damn i'm so sorry" face, and i really honestly wouldn't have cut her off if she'd stood out more.

so a little part of me was embittered as i was delivering the papers to waterfront station. when i got to the box, though, someone else was a little ways down, and asked me how i was doing when i said hello. i told him i was a little pissed off because of stupid people calling people names for no good reason. he agreed. so he told me a joke.

it was perfect. the bad mood could have continued on and pissed other people off, but Waterfront Stranger and i killed it.

next time maybe i'll wear a cape and a mask while we tackle pissy moods. it might make it more fun. mine'll have glitter on it.


in other news, i just paid off all my credit card bills. my bank account's horrendously low right now. hopefully the student loan comes soon. hopefully i don't blow it all on a new camera right away. hopefully i'll find a million dollars in the gutter on the hike up to school tomorrow.

Monday, January 24, 2005

fun facts learned at the CJSF planning retreat on the sunshine coast this weekend:

cucumber and peanut butter: better than ants on a log

skinny dipping in the ocean in mid-january isn't as bad as you'd expect. in fact, it's rather pleasant, once you're out of the water again. it's very wrong that it was so pleasant and surprisingly warm, though. where's winter gone???

lu taught me many things this weekend: my inside self is a big, red, flying, rubber ball; my outer self is a tiny, fuzzy, cartoon-like creature with giant puppydog eyes that hides in the corner and doesn't necessarily like to tell people anything; my future is a giant, plump, juicy orange. OR, my cubic sense of self is big, shimmery, transparent, bright, tinged blue, and floating; my friends are a not-shiny-and-new, wooden, trustworthy, one-sided ladder that leans up and just about reaches my cube (and the ground); my ideal mate's a galloping stallion with dark chestnut hair, no saddle, coming towards me but caught in the middle of movement, like a snapshot; my idea of children is a 2-D childlike drawings of daisies that aren't part of the actual image, more like a sticker at the bottom corner of the whole scene; and my conflicts are far, far, in the back of the scene, with broiling black clouds and strikes of lightening, but far in the distance, like a vague nuisance nagging at your thoughts. so enlightening.

freya is awesome. and she makes a wicked vegetarian lasagna to boot. and hopefully that's what's going to be for production dinner this week.

i sabotage meself because i just don't think enough. s'okay. it's never usually too damaging.

BC's really pretty. really.

ed's right. i'm a fire-poker. fire is fuuuuuuuuuuuun.

there's something to be said for going out for a walk in torrential rain with only a rain jacket. after a certain point, it really doesn't matter how wet you are. at least, not when it's as warm as it was.

now i just want to do planning of all sorts for everyone/everything else, too! whee!

Friday, January 21, 2005

Happy birthday shunsdal, MSO.

Enjoy your old agedness.

Sincerely,
Member #10061979
i'm a machine! a perpetual motion machine! look at the wheels turn, the steam bursting out from the joints, the crazy guages going mad!

i don't know what's going on in me right now. but i've had some crazy energy in me lately. it's been mistaken for a number of different things, everything from nervousness to sexual energy to being on the verge of breaking down. but it's not any of those. and i don't know what needs to happen for it to calm down or go away. there was a point today where i was either going to sneeze or cry, i wasn't sure which. i sneezed, though. which is better. because if it had been tears, i'd never have been able to explain that.

maybe it's because i've just been busybusybusy since i came back, and haven't had a moment to stop and rest yet. and won't for another week, minimum. there's just too much to do, too many people i need to talk to, too many issues that need to be sorted out. and as soon as i start to feel on top of them all, i realise that i have another bundle of things to do that i'd nearly forgotten.

i nearly copped out of the CJSF retreat this weekend. but i'll go. it's up on the sunshine coast, so maybe that will be something of a vacation. maybe not. housesitting for natasha has sort of been like a vacation, except that i just haven't had much time to spend here -- basically shown up to play with the animals a bit and then sleep. next week will be crazybusy again, but hopefully next weekend i'll have a break.

because i think that what i really need to calm meself down and get rid of whatever anxiousness or nervousness or antsiness that's in me is to have a day where i do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. or, at least, nothing that's Important Or Urgent. because i'm even busy in my dreams, falling asleep in dreamland as i wake up in real-land.

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!

in other news, bubble tea's a terrific filler-upper when you don't have any real food around and don't want to go grocery shopping because you're only staying somewhere for another day. this makes Day Two that late-night hunger is being solved by bubble tea. taro, today. almond yesterday. it was almost entrancing watching the guy make the tea today. i could feel meself becoming hypnotised.

i remember having a substitute teacher in grade four -- ms. lupien, i think. her handwriting was so nice. whenever we went up with our journals or whathaveyou for corrections, i would get so caught up watching her write and get this near-lightheaded, pseudo-dizzy feeling. some kind of euphoria. i wouldn't want her to stop writing, i'd just watch her pen twirl around. i don't know what it is, exactly, but i still find meself entranced by that sometimes. when i watch some people draw, sometimes. i think it's something about watching someone do something with talent. but it's more geared towards hand skills.

anyways, that's what it felt like watching the guy make bubble tea. but perhaps it was just a sign of tiredness. who knows.

also, it's early production this week. half the editors weren't around. we all fit into one room this time: me, d'arcy, dan, mark, steven, and agnes. usually i'll refrain from putting names in here, or at least that many at once, but fuck it. the reason it's worth mentioning is because it was really, really fun tonight. nothing supremely thrilling went on, but the atmosphere was awesome. and, for one of the first times i can think of, it felt like everyone was actually always working together. that the conversations involved everyone, that everyone was listening to each other, and no one hoarding the attention in the room. i can hope that Production Night Part II tomorrow morning will be the same, but i'm not really sure it will be. i will say, however, that it struck me how often i was actually talking directly with certain people, how much eye contact was being made, and how much more substance every conversation had. even if it was only about german-accented music about burning bushes.

i have my ideas on why it was so great tonight. but they're only theories. so i'll keep them to meself.

tristan's playtime. alfalfa's having far too much fun by herself. and then bed. beautiful, beautiful bed!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

natasha has gone to disneyland, so i have gone to her house. and will stay here all week. it's so very exciting. at the moment alfalfa, the blind cat, is trying to figure out where i am, sitting at the end of the bed, craning her neck all over the place, everywhere but to where i am. she's so sweet... and tristan, the big dog upstairs, has decided that he likes me, because i give him food.

it's truly a heartwarming relationship.

so tired right now. so much more that i have to do, though. can't decide whether it's more worthwhile to just sleep, or to stay up latelatelate and get more accomplished.

for now, though, some pictures:
a fence
some of the pillars in cesky raj ("czech paradise")
matt and honza in lasovice
vines
rachel in the underground
and a recent view from my window

Saturday, January 15, 2005

how can anyone complain about the snow right now? it's beautiful. and it's been cold and crisp enough that the snow's still nice and crunchy when you hike the hill at 8AM, and the dog bounding beside you kicks up big clouds of snow dust wherever she jumps. and the sunrise makes everything glisten and shine all across the valley and you get to go through neighbourhoods that look so much cozier than usual, and all the trees look lovely despite their nekkidness and all the snowmen are still standing (or lying, as the case may be with the one near the airport with a lampost coming out of his stomach and a horrified, agonising, silent scream leaving his lips . . . but it made me laugh).

and on the radio they're all talking about how "hurrah, we're going to start getting rain on monday, and it's going to warm up and wash the snow away, and it'll be a lot of rain, and just over 0 degrees and feel cold and wet and disgusting, but it'll be warm!"

why????

all you snow-haters!

well, i hate you. no really, it's true. i'm sorry, but it can't be helped.

you're not invited to go sledding next time. because we had so much fun yesterday and broke a cafeteria tray and nearly killed ourselves a few times and had to go to classes with dampened socks, but i bet we had the funnest lunch hour out of the alls of y'alls!

other than that, i don't think i've ever been this busy and scattered before. at leat, not in recent years. it's nice. it makes me appreciate things like sledding and bubble tea and driving against rush-hour traffic all the more.

Friday, January 14, 2005

we're going sledding today.

meet 12:30 at CJSF. bring cafeteria trays, crazy carpets, plastic bags, whatever.

we're probably going to end up all wet. and cold. and possibly dying of pnemonia.

WHAT FUN! YOU SHOULD COME!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

who gets to go on a thrilling excursion on the skytrain with bundles of heavy papers tomorrow? i do! because of a miscommunication, and an inability to borrow a car tomorrow. sucks sucks sucks, it does.

i had dance class today. i had sound class today, too. one class left me with a headache, the other one left me dizzy.

i have absolutely nothing to complain about. really. i'm looking forward to both of them all the more, now.

and we're doing contact on thursday! and only rachel and i were excited. we were also the only two people who had any idea what contact was. fun times a-comin!

but first, BED.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

i'm back in vancouver now. i'm tired. i'm jet-lagged. i spent all day running around (half of that quite literally) organising things. i've hired someone to work for me, hopefully it wasn't a bad choice. i don't know right now, i was too tired and distracted at the time. i also picked up a work study position. again, hopefully i didn't make a bad choice there, either. i'll be working at CJSF, though, so that can't actually be bad.

radio show was fun. i already forget the name of the one band that i fell in love with today, but i'll find it tomorrow again. started with an M. from montreal. oh so much fun.

it's sorta fun to have been away for a few weeks, and then come back and actually see minute changes that you wouldn't have seen otherwise. like some people lost weight. one of our cats gained weight -- a lot of it, i'm amazed. some people changed their hairstyle a little. some people don't look as tired as they did before. some people have become quieter and more closed-up. some weird white stuff started to cover the ground. it's pretty, though.

there might be an official trek to burnaby mountain park tomorrow for the sole purpose of going sledding. if you want to come, come visit me. can't tell you what time it'll be at yet, though, sorry.

oh, and i did manage to find a decent bus route to the airport from london. unfortunately i ended up in the middle of the row on the flight home, so not only could i not find a comfortable position to get any sleep in, but i also missed having a window to look out of as we flew over greenland and nunavet. the glimpses i got were magnificent, though. and the descent into vancouver was possibly the nicest one i've ever seen, with everything glistening with snow, and the air super-clear and crisp, and clouds high enough that they didn't mess up the view. and i ended up sitting next to a slovak returning to her au-pair job here, so we bonded over silly things like kofola and krtek and "jak se mas". we were good for each other, i think.

tired. eyes closing. must sleep.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sunday, January 09, 2005

i'm enjoying my last guinness in the UK. okay, so i'm not in ireland, and that's probably somewhat wrong, but i'm closer to ireland than i'll get right now.

unfortunately, the london transit system is ruining the whole evening. for the first time EVER, i have a reasonably straight-forward flight home: London Heathrow --> Frankfurt --> Vancouver. not some out-of-the-way airport outside london, but heathrow. the one that the underground goes to. all the way. except for this weekend, because there's work being done on the line. so, rather than catching 2 metro lines to reach the airport, i'm going to have to leave 2 hours early in order to take 5 different buses to reach the airport with 2 hours to wait before my flight.

i'm not so annoyed by the time (although a little miffed that i have to wake up so early) as much as i'm worried about my knee. i didn't bring my brace, i didn't think i would need it. but after these past few days, my knee's really not feeling happy. in fact, it almost felt ready to give out yesterday, which actually quite scares me. so hope and pray and cross your fingers for me that it doesn't pop out when i'm walking around with a big heavy pack on my back.

i was hoping that maybe, possibly, my flight from frankfurt to vancouver would be cancelled due to snow. doesn't seem likely anymore. although if it were just snow, the flight would just be delayed. so maybe i'm just hoping that i'll get to frankfurt and they'll announce that "oh, sorry! flight LH0492 to vancouver has been cancelled because vancouver has exploded!" and then i could catch a flight back to prague and stay there until The Great Reconstruction takes place and vancouver is rebuilt in accordance with the vision of some crazy man who sits upon a hill far far away and eats nothing but grasshoppers and daisy leaves and the occasional butterfly wing (the colours give him vitamins). but they'd forget the airport, so i'd have to wait another 15 years until crazy man has a child whose first word is "airport" and someone, 6 years later, finally figures out what it meant.

i am truly, deeply sorry, in advance, for all of you who might perish in the great explosion.

but i guess i'll probably be more likely to see you come sunday or monday or something.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

it's windy. very, very, very windy. it's been windy the whole time, but this is blustery beyond belief. the whistling around the house is beautiful.

haruki murakami has a new book out. there's posters for it throughout the underground stations here in london. i need to go to a library on the way home from the airport on sunday. if the flight's not cancelled due to snow. i've been told that there were 87 cancellations yesterday. so we'll see.

in the meantime, go read:
On Meeting the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning
just plain text, or done up all fancy-like. you choose.

i don't believe that i have ever seen more people dressed in orthodox jewish garb in the streets before today. it was exciting. the long bits of hair that hang over their ears reminded me of shawn. sorry to say, shawn, theirs beat yours hands down. so long! so curly! and with the hat and black clothes to boot!

while i was walking down one street in the neighbourhood, there was a perfect photo opportunity, destined to be missed. two girls, still in their school uniforms, were crunched up against the upstairs window, with the white lace curtain hanging behind them, they were pointing to the one patch of blue sky above us, with big, happy grins on their faces. if i hadn't hesitated, i could have gotten it on film, because because they were in their house, and because there was someone sitting in the car beside me, i paused. when i finally decided to try to take the picture, the girls saw me and ducked. when they poked their heads back up again, i tried to ask them (mime) if i could please take their picture, but they wouldn't have it. and after a bunch of pointing and shaking heads and nodding vigorously and exuberant thumbs-ups, i didn't take the picture at all. but everyone was happy. so you'll just have to imagine them peering out the livingroom window, on the upper floor of a brick-built house along some street in the Stoke Newington area of london.

at some point the day became a Franny sort of day, though, with me becoming introspective, self-analytical, self-critical, and generally subdued and quiet and maybe a little depressed. i don't know why. i blame it on withdrawal from caffeine, after (foolishly) having a bunch yesterday. or maybe it's because i'm leaving soon. or maybe it's because it was a grey, windy day. or maybe it's because sometimes a person says the right comment to remind you of what your faults are, and who you actually are, rather than who you like to think you are. because in the end, we all know who we really are, what sort of person we are, even if we try to downplay (or emphasise) certain aspects of ourselves. and sometimes you remember that you aren't necessarily so different from the people you might not like as much.

and sometimes you're worse than they are, because you're too busy trying to prove that you're different to realise that you're becoming more of a faker than anyone else you know, spending more time trying to set yourself apart from the rest, rather than just focus on who you actually are.

but thoughts like that pass. you need to have reminders of things like that every now and then, to boot you off your high horse, right?

no more caffeine for sarah. at least, no more after i board the plane to leave europe.

Friday, January 07, 2005

forget what i said about feeling perturbed in london. i'm really enjoying it this time. a lot. largely because i'm spending the time with friends, i think.

i got to spend the day with aqeel today -- ah, bless! oh how i've missed him. he proved to me that i was wrong about not being able to see the sky -- "look, there's even a star there!" -- and we wandered about andel angel and window-shopped at the super fancy stores. we discussed finns and czechs and canucks and merkins and how neither of us is quite grown up yet in the least. he's almost the same as always, but there's something a little older in his eyes. i miss having him living down the hall, though.

we passed a four-year-old dancing around his mother before patting her on the ass. we found ourselves transfixed on one fellow's derriere, even though the rest of him -- including his fashion sense -- left a little to be desired. fortunately he stopped at a newsstand and stopped walking in front of us ... for a minute. he returned quickly enough. so we went into the glasses store to lose him. he tried to convince me to get a mullet. i tried to convince him that he was insane. we both agreed that the fashions in london really do border on hideous, but in that fascinating, train-wreck sort of way: so bad that they're actually quite attractive.

sounds like a superficial sort of day, i suppose, but it was good fun.

and then someone took me for a hooker in hyde park. i suppose it might have been exciting to earn pounds for a trick, but . . . no thanks. bastard.

there were enough Events afterwards to forget him, though.

ah, bless!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

i figured out what it is about london that perturbs me so. the last time i was here, it bothered me too, and i figured that the problem was that i'd just come here directly from being in small towns, but the problem is actually that all the buildings are so high and so tightly packed together that you have no sense of where you are, and unless you crane your head up high, you don't even see any sky. not to mention the constant business and craziness of the city.

i was feeling a little uncomfortable here earlier today. i'm feeling better now, though. i'm still surprised, though, because since i was a kid i always thought london would be my favourite place in the entire world. and it's not. i don't think i could ever live here. not for too long, at least.

so expensive, too.

but fun to explore.
it's like i saw rachel just a couple days ago. we missed a bus or two, tried not to step on cracks in pavement, reminisced about prague, decided that neither of us really belonged anywhere, contemplated the intricacies of language, ate chocolate, yawned, and wished that it weren't actually 2AM, or, because it was, wished we were asleep and warm. but we weren't, because my plane didn't get in until 11PM and she was good enough to meet me partway to her flat even though she had to work this morning.

she's gonna be tired when i see her this afternoon.

and then tomorrow i'll see aqeel, and maybe i'll see kate, and then sunday i start the Giant Trip Back To Vancouver.

i'm so happy i get to visit rachel, though. as i was heading to the lubeck airport, i realised that i really don't want to be moving around right now. i almost wished that i was just getting onto a plane all the way back home. it's not that i don't want to see people, but i just don't want to have to move around at the moment. i'd have been feeling a little more sad, as i'm really officially on my way to leaving europe, but i've got rachel for the next few days. so instead i just miss the people i've left, but i'll just see them another time, and rachel and i will celebrate being not-british while surrounded by bunches of them.

when i went through customs, the officer asked me where i came from. i had to think for a minute, seeing as i'd only left prague the day before. he made a comment about my confusion, and i said that i'd moved so much in a day that i wasn't sure where i was anymore. "well, i'll give you a hint to where you are now: it's known as The Motherland..."

in many ways, this whole trip has been an exercise in foolishness. i've spent money i might be better of saving. i went straight to prague and got stuck -- as expected. i'm coming home on the first half of a return ticket, again, and will have that hanging over my head until i actually use it, again. i met people i really don't want to leave behind. i've opened myself to the whole "where on earth do i belong" debate again. i'll be a true pain to all my friends once i'm home, talking about prague all the time. i'm going to end up leading a double-life again, with one foot in vancouver and one elsewhere.

...and yet this has been perfect in so many ways. it was what i needed. i'm not doing any sightseeing at all, really. in fact, today's been spent catching up on sleep, catching up on emails, curled up in blankets, drinking tea, and trying to get rid of this cold. it was what i needed. really, truly.

when kristina and i were discussing languages, she, as someone who's spent her uni time studying french, mentioned that really, learning languages should be a "moyen", a bridge towards an end goal -- you learn a language because you want to be a diplomat, or to transfer to another country, or to appeal to a certain market. and i guess uni should be that, as well. but she's just been learning french because she enjoys it. and everything i've studied is because i like it. and now i want to learn languages and live in places because i enjoy them. but i don't have an end goal in sight yet, which is really my only problem. arguably, that's a big one, but at least i've figured out what it is now. i know what i want to do, i just don't know why.

the nice thing is that this time, thinking about all that, it's not depressing or worrisome. yeah, it's a problem, but so what, i'll worry about it some other time.

i think 2005 is going to be better than last year. and last year still had some awesome times to it, too.

oh, and quick question to you: in north america, is there any saying or idea that the way your first day of the new year is spent is a sign of how the whole year will go? i don't think i've heard of that before, but that's not really saying much at all.

Monday, January 03, 2005

honza and i were trying to clothesline people from behind on the way downhill, and instead we banged into each other and i ended up with a hole in my ONLY jeans (and fairly new ones, at that!) and a torn and bloodied knee. didn't realise it was bleeding until we got back to the cabin, though (it was too cold to feel that it was bleeding). but helena got to prove her doctoring skills before we all played charades. and then we watched some cult czech newly-post-communism film. couldn't understand much of what was being said, but i got a bit. visually, though, it was still interesting enough that i want to try to find it subtitled now.

that's my official war wound of this trip, i think. nothing else has come up, yet.

new years was fun. silvestr, here -- that's the name day name for that date. makes it sound all pretty and silvery and sparkly. someone had set things up so that we could go climb a watchtower on a hill and see the fireworks all around us, which was pretty nice. and it wasn't too cold. and we had chilli con carne (tout petit petit petit!) made by dominique, and the evening was nearly perfect.

there was one person's bad mood to deal with. i didn't let it ruin my evening. it ruined someone else's though, which makes me sad.

but i still had my first sincerely great new years ever.

and earlier in the day honza and i went for a hike that was a bit longer than we should have tried (everyone told us it was too far, but we wanted to see the lake! ...we didn't make it to the lake, though...), because we ended up hiking home along the darkened roads between the villages (it was safer than going through the woods) long after the sun had gone down. it's nice being in the middle of nowhere in pitch dark, though (no traffic lights), with no sounds around you, save the occasional crackle of branches from some deer in the woods. actually, we probably could have made it to the lake if we didn't pass an old abandoned watchtower along the way and climbed up in there for a bit. it had to be done. i've always wanted to hide out in one of the old rustic watchtowers in the czech fields since i saw my first czech film. it saved us from getting drenched, at least.

but i have to leave tomorrow. HAVE to. people are expecting me in germany. i'll have to be back sometime, though. didn't make it to the tatras, so i'll have to go another time! but hopefully tonight a few of us will go to a concert of some sort. there's a couple here that are possibly the most energetic, most exitable (in a good way), most fun couple i've ever met. well, maybe not EVER, but they're up there on my list of all the rest of my Super Cool People To Have As Friends. although, natasha, be proud. tales of you have been told a few times, now. only in part due to your skills as my hairdresser.

braids are still in, by the way. everyone thinks they're awesome. me too. {g}

so. but. happy new year! tell me how your night was! pray that my plane doesn't crash on the way to london!

oh yeah. and yay me, my czech's getting semi-decent, actually, and i've been able to speak french a bunch as well! some dinners have been quite amusing, bouncing between english, czech, german, and french. i keep getting confused what language i'm trying to speak now. i'm gonna miss that.

and my boleni krk is better now, thanks for asking. na zdravy!