Tuesday, December 13, 2005

it's been a rather crazy/bizarre/stressful/busy/confusing/relieving/upsetting week and a bit. and i won't go into all of it here.

i have gotten a lot of things done.
i have started sewing again.
i have booked my plane ticket home.
i have had the chance to have a conversation in french in order to buy the ticket. i felt so proud.
i have been starting to be creative again.
i have seen Narnia.
i have been really frustrated and pissed off with people, but that won't change them.
i have felt like a giant fuck-up, only to feel better, only to feel worse.
i have felt like i've been beating my head on a brick wall.
i have felt treated like i'm insignificant, stupid, ignorant, or worse, and i've hated it.
i have grown to respect someone who, until recently, i didn't have a very high opinion of.
i haven't done any sort of christmas prep yet, and christmas with mom and family is on saturday. uh oh.
i have reviewed a completely fictitious film on the radio with the help of the amazing gavin and the intrepid kate. we're going to practice until we're better at that sort of bullshit. but our first attempt with billy zane wasn't utterly horrid. i hope.

when i was living in glees with olaf and family (germany, for those not in the know), olaf was venting about his co-workers one day. he was never a fan of working with french people. seems that the french and german work ethics are a little different. at any rate, he was frustrated about one woman he worked with, one day. she wouldn't make up her mind, or at least not tell anyone about it, until the last minute. he hated it. it was selfish and inconsiderate, he said. because people would need to plan or schedule things, but they never knew what to do with her.

at the time i took it to heart. because i know i can be bad that way, and that alone has made me try to decide and stick to a decision more often. since friday night, though, i've been thinking about that over and over. because someone quit, after 6 weeks of saying they'd come back to work, after 3 extensions of their time away, after repeated assurances that they'd definitely, honestly, be back today. but they quit over the weekend, via email. not even taking a day or two off their new job just to set things in order here, make sure that everyone knows what's going on, tying up loose ends . . . but it's okay, "it's only the student society, it's not that important in the end."

pisses me off. any employer would and should grant you a day ot two -- if not more than that -- to end your previous job. it's only responsible. it's how you make sure that you don't leave others in a mess. other people who were relying on your return, other people who were counting on you being back, people who might not have even known until this morning that you'd resigned as of days ago, because you're sending the notice out on the weekend.

i'm sure you had many things weighing on you, and i'm sure it was a hard decision to make. but you can make choices and not dismiss the values of others or organisations while doing it. i know some of the reasons she had to quit, and most of them were the same sorts of reasons that made me consider quitting. but the difference is that i said i'd do the job, and if i up and left it when i was thinking about it, i'd either be letting people down, or screwing people over. if i quit from anything, it's going to be with ample notice so that it doesn't cause a problem for everyone else. because that's the only fair thing to do.

because that's the thing. dismissing this job as "just the student society" or calling it "my other secondary job" or treating it like the fallback job is what causes half the trouble of the student society. how can you convince other people that the society's actually important in any way when you don't even consider it worth your time? and then on top of that, something that diego pointed out, is the other big problem of people agree to taking something on, only to never follow through. saying they'll help on a project, saying that they'll make the phone call, saying that they'll be back to finish the job on monday, you make plans, you give them a role, you rely on them and their commitment. and when they drop out unexpectedly, you haven't prepared for that, and things fall apart.

oh well. maybe one day the world will revolve around me, too. but wait, it already does, because i have a blog. and what else is a blog for, but to create your own world where only you matter?

i caused horrible feedback in the studio today accidentally. twice. i have a really bad headache and feel ready to pass out. hopefully i didn't kill my brain doing that.

No comments: