three years ago, i wrote one of these up. it's a little out of date now, though, so i figured i'd redo it. i figured i'd redo it over a year ago. but never finished. until now. so, i present...
a revamped 101 things about me (as of october 2004, april 2005, and november 2005):
1. i love october. not just because my birthday's then. really, it makes no difference. it's just a lovely month.
2. fresh popcorn, slightly buttered, no salt, is my comfort food. that, and pretzels.
3. i hate money. and i hate people who make big deals over balancing things out. take turns, trust that a friend will give of their money or things or time in an equal way another time, don't demand compensation down to the penny all the time. that said, knowing that the world doesn't tend to work that way, i can be stingy meself. but i try not to be.
4. jonny once gave me my favourite way of thinking about myself. he called me "a european who just happened to be born in canada." i agreed with him then, and still feel the same way.
5. i hate making up my mind, and end up spending too much time waiting for fate or time to decide things for me. when i fuck up my life i don't want it to be my fault, you see.
6. joshua giraffe will probably always have a special spot in my heart. it makes me think of driving home from coquitlam centre when i was 6 years old, during a bleak, rainy day, with lots of deep greens from the houses and trees going by the window - particularly norman avenue. when he says "wildebeasts in the WC", the street flattens out for a split-second before continuing uphill - and pulling into the "garage" at our old house.
7. being surrounded by another language makes me happy. it's a challenge to understand, it's a challenge to be understood, and it's fun to constantly by trying to do something, rather than passively understanding everything going on around you.
8. france never grabbed me in any strong way, honestly, not like some places did, but i'm still dying to go back just to speak french again.
9. when i was 6 or 7, during my loner phases, my ears would occassionally ring a little, and i'd imagine that it was some secret ESP sort of language that only i could understand, and i'd concoct all these different reasons for it. most involved some kind of secret alert code that was being sent out. but yes, i realised i was making these things up anyways.
10. i spend too much time distancing meself from the people around me when i'm in larger groups, focusing on the reasons that i don't fit in, or coming up with their downfalls. when i'm with fewer people, that's when i connect with people, if i'm not busy getting down on meself.
11. i'm happiest when i'm connected to water. especially if i'm on a boat. especially if it's the ocean. especially if i can lose meself in the sound or feel of the waves.
12. i want to buy a boat and live there, docking for awhile and moving somewhere new to explore when i feel the itch to travel, catch fish to eat and trade at ports for things i need, grow veggies and herbs and whatnot on board, mobile phone&internet'll do me fine, stop in at libraries here and there . . . it'd be perfect, i tell ya! who's in with me?
13. i hate needles. hate hate hate them. i tried to get over my fear by getting the freebie Hep-B shots years ago, seeing as there's 3 of them. it didn't work. by the last shot i was still curled up in a ball for fear of the shot. the entire experience was utterly pointless (see #14).
14. last year i found out that i'm a hep-B carrier. i'm sick with it right now, but it's probably been fluctuating in me for most of my life (i probably came in contact with it as a child) so i'm apparently contagious, but i don't think it's near as bad as the doctor made it seem when i first found out about it. it's still something that bothers me.
15. ever since i was a kid, i thought that stitches and broken arms were something akin to chicken pox -- you only get them once. this was a somewhat terrifying thought for me as i'd never had stitches. course, i know one person who got chicken pox 4 times in a row...
16. i was never a fan of the monkey bars as a child. then i slipped off them and broke my arm badly when i was 6. since that day, i've really hated monkey bars.
17. i don't remember the pain from breaking my arm. i remember wearing a makeship sling on the way from school to the hospital. i remember the cast and how much fun it was. i used to wish i'd break my leg because then i'd get to play with crutches, and oh what fun that would be!
18. i got to use crutches after knee surgery. the novelty wore off within 3 days. but at least i've had stitches now!
19. i wish hallowe'en happened every month. i just want more excuses to dress up and make up more often.
20. telling people my degree used to make me feel somewhat like a failure -- it was a general arts (no major, 4 minors). then it became a joint english/women's studies major, AND an arts & culture major, AND a communications minor. then it became two official, separate degrees. now, it might also include an honours. before, i felt that after so many years at school, i should have had at least one major. but then everyone always sounded impressed that there's 4 minors. i think i might actually be happy with it now, too.
21. i want to stay in school forever. if i can keep finding free courses around town, i might feel alright about graduating (if i ever do). i just like learning too much.
22. lavender is one of my favourite smells (and gelato flavours), closely followed by freshly-cut wood, ocean, snow, just-extinguished-candle, pumpkin pie, and whatever mel k's smell is.
23. if i had the opportunity to name a child right now, its name would be nissa (f), jordan (f), katka (f), ashley (m), sverre (m), caelen (m), or chris (m).
24. stefan would be on the previous list if i didn't have a stefan in my past. but never stephen or steven. never. or brian.
25. i love shoulders. probably because i don't like mine. but other peoples' shoulders are beautiful. as are collarbones. and calves. my sisters' included.
26. speaking of bones, i think my hips are fascinating because they're actually very differently-shaped. the left one's rounded on the front, while the right one has a sharp edge to it. nature's cool.
27. i don't have my wisdom teeth. they were taken out in grade 12. i was put under for it, but was too hardcore to succomb to sleep when i got home and instead stayed up the rest of day out of stubbornness.
28. i expected my knee surgery to be somewhat similar to having my wisdom teeth out -- waking up and being in a minor bit of pain and a little groggy, but not unable to do things. i was very wrong.
29. waking up from surgery was the most terrifying thing of my life. no one prepared me for waking up not knowing what happened, or the chills, or the trauma of it all. i think it's all part to blame for falling into depression this year -- seriously. if you're used to being invincible and not needing help, it's a real shock to the system to suddenly be helpless.
30. yes, i always felt that i didn't need anyone else, that i was independent, that i was perfectly self-sufficient. sometime during the past year, this changed. that doesn't mean that i believe it yet, though.
31. the pets we've owned over the course of my life has included 6 cats, 2 rabbits, 1 guinea pig, 2 hamsters, 1 german shepherd, and rebecca had a couple fish. i don't think any of them died of "natural causes" (except maybe the guinea pig). the cancer got a bunch of them. the polio got my rabbit. poor bunny could have used a wheelchair for its hind legs before we put him down.
32. of the two cats at coquitlam!home, one thinks she's a queen and rules the world, and the other one is schizophrenic. when we chose the schizo cat, rebecca and i thought she'd be the coolest cat ever. we were wrong. she's got soft fur, though.
33. i missed having a pet here at the honeymustard house. alas, karl's allergic. but then we got solomon, who rivals marmalade in terms of being cool. but no cat was cooler than marmalade.
34. i've always wanted to go climb the sulfur piles out near the barnet highway. not too sure what security is like there.
35. rebecca and i always meant to try to sneak into "Russia" (a.k.a. the BC Hydro plant in belcarra) just for the hell of it. and one day we will.
36. oh yeah. i have 3 siblings: rebecca, david, and daniel. david and i aren't close at all. daniel is why i was sane living at home until recently. rebecca and i hated each other in the past. now we seem to get along fine much of the time. but she's far away in victoria.
37. i have a radio show. it's here. getting to play on air is always one of the highlights of my week. if i miss it, my week is never as good.
38. people think i'm a music snob. and i am, i suppose. but that doesn't necessarily mean i don't like lame cheesy music. as i write this, i'm listening to the newest madonna. and i have a solid collection of geeky and/or lame music. my collection of accordian music needs to grow.
39. i was taught to play piano from when i was 3 onwards. and i consider myself able to play piano. i don't think i can do it well -- never did. but liked to pretend that i could. i miss having a piano in the next room, now, because there's nothing more calming than playing a few pieces for the fun of it.
40. i like hats. there's 10 lying about in my sight at this very moment. i don't get to wear all of them so often, though.
41. i also like striped socks. and knit wool socks. bonus if they're coloured.
42. i've been meaning to pull out my sewing machine and actually make some clothes. i enjoy sewing. handstitching (with cheesy movies playing in the background) is therapeutic.
43. watching people write or draw is hypnotic to me. if i let meself, i'd find meself completely entranced by my teachers' handwriting as they wrote on the board or in my book as i watched. same with watching people draw. i don't know why, but it's hypnotic.
44. licorice tea is nectar of the gods. salty licorice is their candy.
45. i'll never be able to be a real vegetarian, if only because i really love lamb.
46. i've had 7 holes put into me for aesthetic purposes: 4 earlobe piercings, 1 top-of-the-ear, tongue, and nose. the nose-piercing felt the best. for that reason, i want to get another nose piercing some day.
47. i had to take out the tongue piercing because of the "th" sound in english. if my tongue didn't have to make that movement, my mouth would be perfectly happy with a piercing in it. fuck english.
48. i've never been very flexible. i was the only person allowed to be in the higher levels of gymnastics even though i couldn't do the splits. my body's just like that.
49. although i feel like i've recently discovered dancing as "something that i can do too," i was actually in ballet, jazz, and modern dance classes as a kid. i remember going up to SFU for classes, though i have no clue what room it was in now.
50. my aunt's the arts faculty advisor at my school. i really should visit her more often than i do. i'm sorry i don't know her better because she actually seems quite interesting. and she has the cutest puppy in the world. named hugo.
51. i only have 3 cousins. we're not close. colin and i are mere months apart in age, and we always seem to be in the same general area. and we share a friend. you'd think we'd actually end up meeting up sometime.
52. i wrote everything before this last october, and then promptly forgot about the file. i just reread everything now and had to edit comments and wish i hadn't written some things in the order that they're in. but i'm too lazy to renumber. from here onwards, i wrote these in april this year.
53. i think that working at The Peak was the first time i ever embraced a place i worked and claimed it as a part of me.
54. i first walked into The Peak office because i thought that it would be neat to write for the paper. then i found out don mckellar was coming to town, and used The Peak as a means to meet and interview him. jodi and kept him for far too long, but he was nice enough to stay with us for all our questions. later that night he introduced us to callum keith rennie. we were pretty excited. when i interviewed don last year, when he was back in town for Childstar, it felt almost like a complete cycle of Peakiness.
54. recently, i keep getting the feeling that i'll run into someone i know if i caught this bus or took that shortcut or waited at this intersection for another minute or i'll be getting a phonecall a minute from now so i'd best turn off the ringer now (cuz i'm in class, y'see). i've been right every time. and each time, it's been someone who wouldn't typically be there in the first place. it's weird. but cool.
55. i saved the file and didn't touch it again until today, november 13. so now let's see if i can finish this.
56. i have 6 cameras right now. two polaroids, one lomo, one nikon SLR (for film), and one nikon digital SLR. i haven't taken many photos lately. but i've been wanting to change this.
57. i'm friends with someone who is the older brother of someone i was once friends with when we were 12. we grew apart and i've never spoken to her ever again. i find it strange but cool that i'm friends with her brother now, though. even though i was a little intimidated by him when i was a kid.
58. i was always intimidated by my friends' older siblings. i think it's because i don't have an older sibling, so i never knew how to act around them. fortunately most of my friends were also oldest-kids.
59. i ran into my best friend from grade 6 last wednesday. i had no idea what to say to her, but felt like i should say hi. she didn't recognise me until i said i was sarah from parkland. i have a very vague idea of what her life is like now, but i still felt uninteresting compared to her. and a little scared of her.
60. for 5 years i have signed up to do nanowrimo. each year, i haven't done it. usually i chalk it up to having too many other things to do during novembers. i stand by that excuse this year too.
61. i hate potatoes. if i like a dish that uses potatoes, chances are there's some kind of sauce or topping that, flavourfully, outweighs the potatoes themselves. when i was a kid, i was still forced to eat them, though. even though my sister was never forced to eat pasta. i'm still bitter over this fact.
62. generally speaking, i tilt my head whenever my picture is taken. i don't know why. but i do.
63. i hate the colour pink. it's probably a layover from overdoing it when i was younger, and pink was my favourite colour, so my clothes were pink or red, while rebecca's were blue or purple. until i decided that purple was my favourite colour, of course. tragically, i missed out on pink week this year.
64. purple's pretty close to pink on my list of least favourites these days too.
65. i've lived with large numbers of people all my life, and when i've been one of three or fewer people who live in the same household or apartment, i find it a little lonely and dull. living with 6+ people means that there's company when you want it, but you can escape to your bedroom when you need it.
66. i wish i spoke french, german, czech, norwegian, spanish, portuguese, cantonese, and russian better/at all.
67. being forced to try to understand the signs and posters around me wen they're not in a language i know well makes me happy.
68. i love mugs. no, really. i do.
69. i got up to grade 10 piano before quitting. some day, when i have time, i'd like to get my ARCT. if it's possible.
70. i don't like cake. or pancakes. french toast is sometimes alright.
71. i like shopping at T&T Supermarket for the fun of not knowing what i'm actually buying. i try to make it a point to buy something (usually a drink or candy) that's completely foreign to me. SMACK was pretty tasty, actually.
72. if it was presented to me, i'd try blue whale and panda, just to see what they tasted like. it'd already be there right in front of me, afterall!
73. one of the favourite postcards i ever received has a scenic picture of surrey on it. it was sent to me by someone i hardly know. when i came back to canada, he'd moved jobs. i know where he is now, and actually saw him walk past me on friday. i haven't gone to say hi yet, though. i want to mail him a postcard that rivals his surrey postcard first.
74. i've only received flowers as a gift once: from murali for my past birthday. they were sunflowers. they made me very happy.
75. i'm going to europe on december 28. i'm landing in london. i don't have a return ticket yet. i don't know what i'll be doing there. i should figure this stuff out soon.
76. i finally found myself a pair of rollerskates. they're brown leather with blue wheels and laces. they're awesome. and yet since finding them, i haven't tried them out once yet. tragic.
77. haruki murakami is my author boyfriend. well, one of them. i keep getting copies of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, and then either lending or giving them away, so i always need to replace my newly-lost copy.
78. i'm a libra. apparently, according to some book i once read, my birthday makes me a very libran libra. and although i don't want to give too much credence to the zodiac, i've always been very proud of this fact, despite the fact that this "fact" makes me someone who can come across as rather indecisive at times.
79. i'm very sorry that the smashing pumpkins wrote a song that uses my birthyear, 1979. it's a boring song that drones on, and i've never liked billy corgan's voice. sorry, billy.
80. during the Worst Night Ever, matt tried to convince the people at the Hotel Canada that we should be allowed to hang out there, because i was canadian. they gave us a book of matches and told us to leave.
81. i own the whole Titus Groan trilogy. i cherish them. i bring one of the books when i travel, usually. i've never read any of the books all the way through.
82. i actually enjoy cooking and baking. i just never feel as though i have the time to do it. so i rarely cook anything grand.
83. if all the ingredients were magically in the fridge/cupboard, i'd probably take to cooking more often. it's the shopping that also puts me off.
84. i sometimes spend more time focusing on how things will affect other people, than how they'll affect me. this works against me, usually.
85. when i was younger, i wished i'd been born with red hair. someone i knew at church had "strawberry blonde" hair. i was jealous.
86. i've had glasses since grade 2 or 3. it's a foreign concept for me to contemplate what it would be like to wake up in the morning, open my eyes, and see everything in focus.
87. i've had one root canal, and have one capped tooth. the capped tooth, at least, will boost my body's value once i die.
88. i have a trio of dictionaries that i won at a farmer's auction in alberta years ago. they're all out of date, but they're the only thing i've ever won at an auction.
89. i lived in alberta for a half of a summer. i tend to forget that i did. and i don't know if it counts as "living" there or not. either way, though, it was a fun summer. sev and i always talked about going tornado chasing. we never did, though. it was probably better that way.
90. i enjoy working when there's no one else around -- late nights, empty spaces during the day, early mornings, holidays, or weekends. i've never quite enjoyed working when others are working around me.
91. i hated practicing piano when other people were around to hear. so i'd do all i could to not practice then.
92. i've realised recently that i'm a bit of a perfectionist, in that i want to do things well, but postpone doing things because i know that i don't have a flawless plan yet, and that it could still be better. it's a weird thing to realise.
93. i love salad. an all-salad restaurant would be my paradise.
94. i've had a lot more difficulty finding 101 things to write than you'd think.
95. ever since i watched eXistenZ, i've felt put off by chinese food. which is unfair to chinese food, really. too bad.
96. my sister and i learned the Backstreet's Back dance one summer when we were bored. because of this, we can also do the Thriller dance. we're not ashamed of this in the least.
97. E.T. terrified me as a child. not because of the alien, but because of the evil government types and doctors. when they showed it in grade 4, i opted to sit in the classroom and read books because i didn't want to watch it.
98. i also chose books over Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Jacob Two-Two and the Hooded Fang. in part, it was because i was a bit of a literary snob, due to being taught that books are far better than TV, and insisting to my teacher that i wasn't allowed to watch "movies like that".
99. i can't handle the feeling of nail polish. it makes my fingers suffocate. despite that,i still like to put clear varnish on every now and then, because it reminds me of one of the best summers i ever had.
100. i feel guilty for some of the things that i like and for some of the things i find fascinating. i think everyone does, to a certain degree. it's still a bother, though.
101. i'm counting down the days until we get to see snow. and play in it. because i love it. love it!
hoe, lee, moley! after a year and a half, it's finally done!