Wednesday, October 05, 2005

yesterday i played a Wolf Parade song on my radio show. just before i played it, i announced that i was going to play "my favourite Wolf Parade song."

the second i hit play, i realised that i haven't had a favourite anything in a very long while. there's things i say are favourites, like lavendar gelato, but at this point, it's more the routine, not an actual burning passion for it to make me say i like it. honestly, i think it's got to do with admitting to liking something.

i wasn't lying about the Wolf Parade song. it is my favourite one right now. which is amazing. i have this quirk in that i'll tell you most anything, but never how i actually feel. "you" also includes myself. it's not so much that i don't want to tell anyone, but more that i'm always trying to be open to something else being better or more worthwhile. i'm working on it, though. and for the moment, admitting to myself that i have a favourite anything is a pretty damn big deal, even when it's just a song.

i think that was part of why i was in such a good mood last night, when i should have been tired, i should have been hungry, i should have been bordering on cranky, i should have been frustrated and venting, and i should have been writing the paper that's due in five hours and is still not finished right now.

but i was in a good mood yesterday. possibly still am now. though getting worried that my plan to skip out on what was going to be my own birthday party to see Beowulf and Grendel might be foiled by the fact that when i explain why my party's off to anyone, they immediately say that hey, they'd like to see it, they're going to go buy a ticket! it's going to be sold out and i won't get to see it.

if that happened i might cry. it's more likely that i'd just go see another film, though.

it's a very silly distinction to be making, i'm sure. but hey, i like the song. a lot. and it's the main reason i would have been happy to be working at the arcade fire show on friday, had our summertime plans worked out.

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