Sunday, September 25, 2005

i've lost a bag of stuff. it didn't matter so much before, but now i'm really started to miss it. it has a couple records, a file of Everything Important That I Needed This Week, and the assignment that's due the day before the AGM that i couldn't get an extension on, as well as the readings for that class, but it's also got the first book i've read for fun in a very long time. and that's what i'm missing the most.

i'm being given grief by everyone for not putting more work into whatever i'm doing with them. my prof told me that i can probably fit the paper into my weekend if i tried. lillian went on how she was going to have to do everything herself because i couldn't show up a half hour earlier on monday afternoon, and let me off the phone "so that you can get going on getting everything else ready for monday". cjsf keeps reminding me to come to the AGM on tuesday night. viff needs me tomorrow. sean tried to convince me to come out to Wolf Parade with him instead of selling him my ticket. i couldn't sleep at all last night because i was sick and feverish. my mom wants to know when i'm going to be in coquitlam and when we can get together for my birthday. there's still lots to do to get ready for the AGM on wednesday and very few people seem to be helping out. though if i ask anything of some people, i won't get any sort of response. and if i'm not working on it and finally doing something else someone starts asking me about the agm because apparently that's all that i'm for right now.

i'm fuckin sick and tired and hungry but don't know what to cook so i won't end up eating anything. maybe i don't want to talk about the agm for a day. maybe i don't want to write my assignment because i've been working on things until midnight every single day this week, and a fair amount before then and wouldn't mind just sitting for awhile. maybe i'm sick of people bitching on about how things won't work out when they don't actually do anything to try to make it work in the first place. maybe i'm tired of all the stupid gradeschool bullshit that's going on and all the people that think they're high and mighty and above it when they're just as much a part of the problem, and working damn hard to make sure that we can't just get along. maybe i'm pissed off that someone unwelcome is going to come by and read this and start whispering about it in their circle when they were never invited to come here in the first place.

all i want to do today is sit outside and read my book and not have to feel guilty that i'm not working on everything else. except that it's missing and i have no clue where else to look.

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