Monday, June 13, 2005

living in coquitlam is like being on ho- ho- holiday!

granted, there is the seclusion of the suburbs. and fewer people to run into in your own house to procrastinate with awhile. but there are lovely large windows, a great many trees, rivers, inkpens, J&Ks, daniel, cats, Internet, fresh air, sounds of parks, super-healthy home-cooked meals, fewer chores, . . . .

i don't mind being here at all right now.

* * * * *

when i was little, Unsolved Mysteries kinda creeped me out. i only watched it once or twice, but i remember feeling a little paranoid afterwards. the inexplicable was what made me uncomfortable, i think. nessie didn't scare me, ogopogo didn't, sasquatch didn't, because hey, if those were real, they were some creature that we just didn't know about. and nessie's a plesiasaur. oak island was exciting. the lost gold mines were interesting. the people who disappeared into thin air frightened me.

and then there were aliens.

i remember reading magazines talking about grey-skinned aliens and starting to fear that they'd come and take me away and do tests on me. the tests weren't the scary part. the being-abducted was.

and so i'd hide. because, you see, for some strange reason, even though these creatures were able to come millions of miles and zap people up into their spaceships, in my mind they were foiled by the simple invention of walls. sure, i was worried that an alien would come and whisk me away in my sleep, but if i crunched myself right up close to the wall, just beyond someone's line of sight (if they happened to be looking in from the right angle, because we all know that they wouldn't be able to move over a little and get a nice clean view of me, that's just not how it goes!), and maybe even cover my head up with the blanket (leaving just enough of a hole to get fresh air), then they wouldn't see me. and they wouldn't bother me. and i'd be safe.

i should mention that it's not like i went to sleep terrified every night. it was only if i'd been thinking about aliens a little too much that day. in all seriousness, i remember feeling scared about it maybe . . . three times? that's it. and i was young. don't mock me.

and it worked! never been abducted, as far as i know. saw a UFO or two when we were on holiday on galiano island 14 years ago, but they never took me! it's funny, though. thinking about it now, i'm not so scared that they'll dissect me or inject me or whatever. i'm not even as worried about them taking me anymore. i'm scared that they're there, and i don't know why or what they are. fear of the unknown, that's what it is, not fear of what may come.

course now, after learning all about new conspiracy theories and unsolved mysteries of history, i'm a little antsy again. but fortunately there's clouds in the sky tonight. so at least the aliens won't be able to see me.

. . . it's a good thing i still have more beowulf translation to do, to get my mind off this.

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