it's been tested and proven: the best people to go to when you need anything to do with bloodwork or shots (non-alcoholic, needle-y kinds) are the people downstairs in the MBC at sfu. the tetanus shot last week was nowhere near as bad as any other shot i can remember, and somehow, i never reached full-on panic mode. partial-panic-mode, yes. semi-hyperventilating, sure. but not tears. and even though i gave them 6 vials of blood today, it wasn't bad at all. still a little bit of panic, but for the first time ever, i actually glanced at the needle in my arm. and i didn't fall to pieces.
the HCCC&related people are my new best friends.
and then and then and then, during a conversation with my counsellor today, i realised that i have no compassion for meself. pity, but no compassion. and that an undeserved scolding from someone else's mother when i was 9 years old still upsets me. and that even though i know that i shouldn't have had to endure that, i still feel as though i brought that upon meself. and if it were any other kid who was chewed out like that, i'd do whatever i could to make them feel better. but li'l!me, well, she can deal with it. lord knows she doesn't need someone else there to help her out -- she's too hardcore.
apparently i've got some pretty high standards to hold meself to.
also, i may have the most arrogant and pretentious arts section ever this week. this makes me happy.