Sunday, February 06, 2005

i was supposed to come home early and get good sleep in time to be up early enough tomorrow morning to get to vancouver in time.

instead ivana and i got all the way to my house, were busy discussing things all the way, and decided to go to tim horten's for the next 3 hours to continue talking.

so much for making up for lost sleep this weekend. didn't manage it last weekend either. doh.

- HepB originates in asia, and there's a far bigger problem with it out there than there is here. considering the amount of advertising you come across against it, you'd think that it was a horridly common thing here, though.
- the fact that i'm a chronic HepB carrier probably means that i picked it up while i was a kid.
- low-fat diets are actually not-so-good for me right now -- fattier diets make the liver's whole function work a lot better, apparently (or something). suddenly it makes sense that the heavier, fattier czech diet was making me feel healthier than i'd been in a long time. must be a sign that i'm supposed to return!
- there's this funny little mutation that can occur in the HepB virus that can give you misleading readings when they check whether the virus is active in you or not.
- apparently mine's had the mutation, and the virus is actually active in me right now.

surprisingly, it was still upsetting to find that out. you'd think that coming to terms with it just co-existing in your body would make it alright to find out that you're actually sick from it at the moment as well. but it wasn't.

so i now have something officially keeping me in (or at least based in) vancouver for the next year, while the specialists monitor me and figure out what to do with me. which is somewhat of a shame and somewhat of a relief. it made it easier to find out that only 3 more people are needed for the ghana field school this summer, and stay fixed in my decision not to go (this year). so now i'm hope hope hoping that it's cancelled this year and that everyone decides to go next year, because i want the goodpeople who are wanting to go this year to go when i can go along with them. because it would be oh so much fun!

what with that news, finally bringing up and discussing Issues at the newspaper, leading my first training session (with peter scrutinizing my every move), trying to lay out this week's section with a new program, and being terribly sleep-deprived, the last few days were spent feeling empty and a little depressed. oh, and the ed went and yelled at me. he's so mean.

fortunately, though, i've had friends around.

it's hard being at home right now, though. nothing bad's going on here, but i just really don't want to be here. i don't know where i'd rather be, though. maybe prague. maybe trondheim. maybe montreal. maybe at a beach. just not here in this room, though.

i'll miss the view when i move, though.

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