Tuesday, November 30, 2004

snowstorm!

well, at least, there was on the hill.

know what the best thing about snowstorms is? well, not really, but kinda. it's the fact that the snow covers the windshield, and lets you get away with not paying for a parking ticket, because the ticket-checkers have no way of knowing whether you've actually bought the ticket or not.

but no, what's really best about snowstorms are the spontaneous snowball fights. especially when you manage to hit your target.

and driving after it's dark and seeing the snow come right at you whenever you go underneath a traffic light.

our Business Meeting tonight resulted in Business Plans. and we may now all officially claim any "holiday" as an actual business trip. one point for us!

much like going hiking at minnekhada today was a Valuable Experience, even if it's not quantifiably worthwhile. it was still much better than anything else i could have been doing this afternoon.

although, at the moment, sleeping would be much better than posting this. prolly more interesting, too.

some day this blog will revert back to being More Interesting, i swear.

Monday, November 29, 2004

my cat has just been deemed certifiably insane. daniel, mom, and i have all agreed, so it must be true. granted, she's probably about 13 at this point, so it makes some sense, but really. i think she's taking this "old age senility" thing a little too far, exploiting it for more than it's worth.

course, when i'm old, i'll prolly play up the senility part as well. if you can get away with it, why not?

* * * * *

who made snow angels today? that's right, me and ivana! we ended up at mount baker. after dark, so we couldn't even actually see our craftsmanship when we were finished. but it was worth the wet clothes and snow down the back and soggy shoes (once the snow melted). we had a last-minute trip to seattle to try to buy a camera (for her). in the end, we didn't get it, and in fact, we smuggle one thing across the border. except for some bananas, but they'd already been smuggled south anyways. and, as always, the canadian guards were oh so much more pleasant than the 'merkin ones. didn't expect anything less. oh, and canadians bargain-shopping south of the border make friends super-quickly. but then, look at us. who wouldn't want to be our friend?

ivana and i need to create our own little world together. when we have our mini-trips, everything just starts to make sense, everything that was stress-worthy before becomes insignificant, and any and every random plan seems reasonable and feasible. granted, most people might think we're a little off, driving all the way down to seattle on a whim to (not) buy a camera, having no clue where we're going, relying on one person's vague memory of the city layout, and hoping to go . . . somewhere (to be decided by a coin-toss later) for a photo fieldtrip afterwards. but, then again, we once ended up in mexico when we were only supposed to visit san francisco for 3 days (and, after discussing it en route today, we're still impressed that jodi talked to us afterwards. oh, peer pressure!).

but we need to come up with a flag or a coat-of-arms first. though, come to think of it, i don't even know what the purpose of a coat-of-arms is. i suppose it looks good on letterhead, though.

and everyone who doesn't get why i'm excited that it's cold and hoping for snow should just find some freshly-snow-covered trees to drive/walk through, and go crunch through some fresh powder and breath the air, and just enjoy the simple, solemn beauty of snow. well, solemn, until you get a snowball down someone's back.

and now...
Things I Learned On Saturday:
- i like being on the ground. a lot. i need to do it more. in part, it's a security thing -- if i'm already on the ground, i can't fall and hurt my knee again. but i actually think it's part metaphorical as well: i've spent way too long pulling away from the real world (if you feel like your body's your achilles' heel [oh so punny!], makes sense, doesn't it?) that i actually need to reconnect with the ground. it's tangible and real.*
- although i tend to fall asleep lying on my stomach, i feel vulnerable lying on my front (especially keeping my face down) when i'm not trying to go to sleep. don't know why. will have to explore this.
- if i actually try and relax everything, i actually get full feeling back in my fingers (side-effect of a pinched nerve). it feels strange to feel normally there. i really like it.
- i may be coming up on an Important Life Moment. morgan popped into my world again. every time i run into her, it seems to coincide with some Eventful Moment. i really should meet up with her for coffee sometime before i leave.

actually, interruption:
you know those people that come across as cool or interesting or just nifty somehow, people you wish you could consider a friend, but they still seem just a little bit outside your realm (because they're in a different social world, or your taste/knowledge alters just enough to make conversations a little stilted at times, or just that you don't quite know how to relate to them)? but you still wish and hope and try to talk to them, even if it feels a little harder to do, sort of like a "friend crush"? or maybe it's just me. but either way, she was one of those people (for me) when i first met her. but every time i see her, we both chat and always mean to hook up sometime later (mean to = never does). she still sorta is a friend crush, i suppose, but more in the vein of, i'm conscious of thinking like that, but equally as conscious of the fact that it's completely unfounded and stupid to think that way because it's not the case at all. makes no sense? prolly not. so fine, back to the list!

- i like dancing. a lot. i really want to start learning it more. i want to not feel awkward anymore. i want to feel comfortable moving. and i don't know why i gave up on dance years ago. possibly because it was more ballet and jazz and more strictly regimented stuff, and the one thing i know about me is that i tend to dislike strict rules. unfortunately, i don't usually complete Desires To Learn unless i throw meself into them wholeheartedly and have Real Reasons** to learn them, so we'll see what comes of this. but i realised this watching a performance on friday, and cemented it after a lastminute choice to go to a drop-in class saturday morning. what to do...
- there's nothing wrong with my life, and wanting to keep learning right now. it's one thing to know this. it's another thing to believe it. but i think i'm closer to believing it.
- i need to have more unplanned, spur-of-the-moment plans. that's when i feel best.
- spiced carribean lamb = oh so tasty.
- sometimes when you're surrounded by strong, dominant personalities, it's just best (funnier) to lean back and watch the whole fiasco.
- Hummers really aren't that spacious. surprisingly. and i can't feel comfortable in one. mini-van still wins!
- the eagle ridge tim horten's has nowhere near the standard TH collection of Post-Midnight Interesting Characters. tragic.


* or it could really just be that i'm still scared of falling again. can't wait to get over that, though. i miss feeling invincible.
** often imposed, such as deadlines, contracted agreements, or losing face. just "wanting to" doesn't necessarily go so far. see "figuring out meself and my life" for an example.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

GUESS WHAT!!!!!!










...it's snowing! mixed with rain. but it's still the first snow this year!

Thursday, November 25, 2004

rainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrainrain

it's probably a good thing that i'm going away soon. even if i don't know where i'm going. even if i don't know what i'll do. even if i don't know where i'll sleep. even if nothing will be at all like i'm expecting, even when i'm going back to places i already know.

i'm sick of Here right now. and i'm sick of This. and i'm sick of Them and That too.

but at the same time i'm looking forward to That, and -- i was thinking about it the past few days -- i know some great people here that i'm glad to consider friends and it makes me wonder why i'm thinking of leaving if some of the best people i know are here.

but then again, doesn't mean that you can't meet people elsewhere.

i think i'm kinda sick of Me, too, right now. i kinda felt like Me was back a few days ago, but today it seems to've slipped away again. probably because i spent today trying to deal with difficult things. so maybe when i wake up tomorrow Me'll be back again. i hope so.

i'm in the mood where i just want to jump into a pool*, hold my breath, and float just beneath the surface for a long, long time.

* preferably a heated pool. if not heated, then i need a giant snowfall so that i can be wrapped up in layer upon layer upon layer, wearing a giant scarf and a toque, and lie on a hill and watch tiny snowflakes fall on my face and listen to the crunchy, muted silence that only comes with snow.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

today i saw the first new-model beetle car that's actually looked appealing to me. it was pale green, and i should have been annoyed (or at least ambivalent) about it, but i actually really liked it. know why? because it was scuffed, the paint was chipped, it had some dents, the back of it was smothered in stickers, and it looked used. it made me happy to see it.

i just never realised before that part of my hatred of the new beetles is that they're all too pristine, too perfect, too new.

old shabbiness is underrated.


today i was also told (via email) that i have a lot to learn about how to make things happen for me, and that a lack of reply to a voicemail requesting one means that a problem has been solved.

but anything coming from that person doesn't mean much to me now.


i did, however, have a fun radio show. i played the robots song, finally. and i played not-AC Newman. and i played Frog Eyes and Constantines and Bert&Ernie. i spent more time being distracted by whoever happened to be on the phone or in the room chatting than i did picking music. but shows-on-the-fly are always more fun. and, surprisingly, you usually end up playing all the songs you really wanted to play.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

everything in the last post? forget it.

well, not everything. some of that stayed the same.

but:
wednesday, realised that there had been a misunderstanding in what i would be paid for the photo job, contacted the person to clear it up before i finished drafting the (lawyer-approved!) contract. got no opportunity for discussion, just abuse and insult and was basically made to suck up to keep the job. which i did, with some bitterness, but figured i'd still do the job -- experience, portfolio-building, still figured i'd do the job for the sake of being good.

even so, i had my own personal crisis after it all happened, because of my own self-abuse. unfortunately it was daniel's birthday dinner that night, so i wasn't the happiest camper. also, that day, the doctor had called me in, and is now strongly suggesting i consider anti-depressants. i'm almost convinced now.

but fagan lent an ear (and advice) from the business side and wasn't put off by the tears of frustration that came out, and friends said the right things and forced me to start figuring meself out then and there, and everyone assured me that i wasn't insane and that i was in the right. which i knew. but it still didn't help much.

thursday, finally received a reply regarding the contract i'd sent, along with a complaint that i was adding things that weren't discussed before, despite the fact that things had changed since our initial discussion, and some things on her side that had been discussed (such as help for me and advanced payment) hadn't taken place either. and then told me MY misunderstanding made her wary of working with me and told me she wanted my assurance that i'd be kind and professional. after i'd sent her a very polite and professional -- even friendly -- email with the contract the first time. so that was just added insult. despite the fact that her issue was with a couple of dollars, i almost gave up on it out of principal, but i know that's what she wanted (so that she could prove i'm a bad person) so i clenched my teeth and left her a phonecall and resent an amended contract by email for approval and was as pleasant as possible (difficult, considering i felt like a shell of a person that day).

when i didn't hear back from her by midnight, i emailed her and told her that i assumed it had been rejected and best of luck with the festival. and it was a great relief. i didn't want to work for her anymore. i wasn't upset about the difference in what i'd be paid (even though it was a vast amount less), but because of how i was treated. i was being strung along, manipulated, and given absolutely no respect. and i don't need that. and this way, i made the last move, rather than giving her the satisfaction of me arriving at the festival to be told that my services wouldn't be needed, as i'm sure that the reason she didn't get back to me was because she was exploring her options to line up another photographer, but keeping me in limbo in case she couldn't cover it.

was still somewhat terrified that i'd get a phonecall from her around 8pm today, demanding to know where i was and why i wasn't there working for them (because she never even replied to the email acknowledging her "rejection"), but it never came. thank god.

when everything first happened, fagan tried to cheer me up by telling me a business joke:
"want to learn something about business?" the businessman asked his son.
"sure!" said the kid. so the dad led him outside to a stepladder.
"now climb up to the top," said dad. and the son did. "now jump into my arms!"
"but dad, i'm scared!" said the son.
"don't worry, i'll catch you," the father assured him.
so the son jumped, and the father quickly stepped back, letting the kid fall.
the end.

after dealing with business types, i wish that were just a really really bad joke.

so that experience kinda sucked. on the plus side, there was no production day today because the computers weren't working, so it was like a day-long bonding experience between editors. which was actually fun. also, saw a relatively bad sci-fi film with dwm. although the lead girl was beautiful, and i wish i could make my hair look as nifty as hers. also, have started emailing with stefan again, and i think things are good. he's still a dumbass, and says things that he intends as sensitive but are, in reality, the exact opposite, but i can handle it now.

so ultimately, it's a good thing the photo job fell through, considering the computer crisis. because now we'll be doing production tomorrow instead. and now i can go to other better events happening this weekend. and, because production was postponed, i'm delivery girl on monday, for which i'll get a tiny bit of extra money -- not near as much as i'd have gotten post-contract negotiations struggles, but at least i enjoy working for the peak much more than i would have enjoyed working for her.

so. i win, still? maybe. probably. i did everything right and legally and professionally. i did it with proper legal advice, from a few sources, too. i know she's going to badmouth me to lots of people -- she was already telling me stories about people she'd worked with in the past. but i don't care. i'd rather work with someone who's got the decency to discuss problems with me and treat me as an equal, rather than someone who treats me like a second-rate peon.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I WIN!!!

laptop is fixed (old news, but still good news)!

met someone with a magnetic quality to them, the sort where you keep catching yourself staring at them without realising it (until they catch you watching them), and it's not necessarily attraction in anything other than the magnetic sense, but once you realise it's happening it's fun to indulge and study their face/posture/being...until they catch you watching them again and start thinking you're creepy!

not buying a D70...yet...BUT going to be using a rented one all weekend long with the festival paying for it, which means that at the end of the weekend, i'll have used a good camera that i can trust, get to decide if it's worth getting my own right now, taken a bunch of pictures that i KNOW are good, earned some money, and will be able to put it into my back account, instead of onto my mastercard to pay back the cost of a new camera!

my faith in my ability as a photographer has returned...i think!

i get a car for another 10 days, just in time to scootch around all weekend doing the festival work!

i realised that i think i'm repaired from the stefan trauma...at least, i've got urges to just want to chat with him without any negative side-effects!*

i got to see sunshine today! and a really pretty moon!

i got new sparklies (thank you ed)!

i...well, i had a not-win moment today that still may not be entirely resolved, but for the moment it ended with being given chocolates!

i got to discuss fascism and blackshirts while wrapped in a blanket draped over a furnace, making it even warmer! and my tutee's marks have gone up a goodly amount, so apparently i'm doing good!

my hair's still glittery!

i'm gonna go to sleep now!

points for me!!!!!

well, this one might be a temporary thing, but we'll see...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

sam fixed my laptop!!!

i thought it was dead, but no, it's not. it's a happy day now. all i have to do now is decide whether to spend an arm and a leg and perhaps half a brain or so to purchase a nikon D70 because i'm sincerely doubting my camera's abilities for thiscoming weekend. maybe i can borrow someone's camera, maybe not. getting the digital SLR would be *great* for taking pictures everywhere and, stupid as it is, give me the confidence for this and future jobs.

but it's a lot of money. it won't clean me out, but if i'm going to europe for 3 weeks, it'll mean i'd be pretty close to having zero monies in my bank account by the time i'm back (assuming i don't win any spectacular bursaries or get a new student loan).

...unless i could figure out a way to make money with the camera while i go to europe. because if the laptop's working again, i could always bring that with...

okay! so who wants to buy a photo or two off me?

also, i'm wearing a turkish shawl. it's very soft and very warm. i feel so exotic with that and my princess beads'n'braids.

no, i haven't forgotten you yet, kenten. we should deal with that soon.

Friday, November 12, 2004

most people are celebrating diwali on the 12th. but ilam & co did it on the 11th. which meant lovely lovely indian food and cheesy indian music and beautiful slinky saris and massively huge sparklers.

and a business meeting. well, once the playing-with-hair got out of the way.

i need to get my own sari, though. they're so much fun to wear...

there is no more greater vancouver at the moment. the fog's rolled in, so it looks like we've got oceanfront property now. it's quite pretty, especially with the pools of light from the houses and lampposts drowning beneath the surface. come visit me sometime and we'll take the boat out for awhile.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

i was just on the phone with a german travel agent, trying to figure out costs for a flight from germany to vancouver (checking out EVERY OPTION for the cheapest flight). i got to speak a little bit of german, which is nice. he asked for my email address, though, so i tried to think of german words for the "as in" part. when i got to "a as in apfel" he started laughing and refused to stop. in fact, he told me to wait a moment when i tried to keep going.

i can make people 9 hours in The Future laugh! hurrah!

i wish the UK were 9 hours in The Future too. then they'd be open for business right now too. lousy brits...

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

i've had a week of romantic showers, now.

see, for the past long long long while, the bathroom light's been a little finicky. sometimes you flicked it on and it wouldn't turn on, so flickflickflickflickflick VOILA! light's on. faulty wiring or whathaveyou.

but the faulty wiring is now useless wiring, and no amount of flicking the switch will make the lights turn on.

perhaps we're just incapable of fixing the wiring ourselves. daniel claims he could fix it if he had a screwdriver, but he refuses to bet gelato on this assertion, so i have my doubts. perhaps we're just lazy. either way, the bathroom is now fully-decorated in candles of all sorts, and a giant box of matches, and whenever any of us have a shower, we just light all the candles up.

maybe i should be digging up the romantic rose shower gel someone gave my for my birthday and the atmosphere would be especially romantic.


today murali saw snow up close for the first time ever. we went up to whistler. we built a snowmanpenguin. we froze our fingers having a snowball fight. i built a marker out of stones. we nearly died hiking up to the snow in the first place. we saw ribbons of clouds floating between mountain peaks. we stopped at tim horton's on the way there and back so that he got the full roadtrip experience. we missed being caught by photo radar because he was driving home (fortunately). i introduced him to holding his breath going through tunnels and getting a wish on the other side.

but, really, the best part of the day was the snow. didn't see it fall. but played in it nonetheless.
i registered for classes for the spring just now. and it felt so good.

and last night ayanna and i witnessed a Terrible Crime In Progress. dead bodies and conspirators were involved. they'll be after us next, i tell you!

and now, murali awaits! (we're heading out on an Adventure somewhere today. i'm already late. it's okay, he usually is too. based on the one other time we went somewhere together.)

Thursday, November 04, 2004

i made a bet with agnes today. i told her there wasn't much point in betting against me, but she went for it anyways just to amuse me.

i saw my kidney specialist today. kidney, head, knee, some day there'll be a liver specialist in there too... so silly. at any rate, it was destined to be an exercise in futility from the start, but it was somewhat fun to go through the motions.

doctors are in funny positions. they're supposed to tell you what's wrong, and if there is something wrong, people will generally be upset. but the doctor's just someone that they see now and then -- all the more so if it's a specialist. generally, you're not that close to your doctor. so i can imagine that if a patient is starting to get upset or depressed about something they're being told by the doctor, they can either try to reach out to the person to calm them, or completely distance themselves. i'm not sure which one's the better solution. i know that my doctors have typically reached out. which i think i like. i'm not sure where the boundary between "supportive" and "slightly creepy" lies, though. but i digress. it was just something that i started thinking about today, while i was being reassured, despite the fact that i was feigning cynical good humour. (obviously i was failing at it.)

    "so! there's still something wrong! but all the extra tests we did since the biopsy still don't tell us what is wrong because everything else normal! but it might be an idea to start taking meds! of course, they might lower your blood pressure, but..."

    "oh, but doctor, i've been dizzy a lot lately, and i've been rather depressed of late as well!"

    "hmm... then i guess meds are out of the questions! well, there's nothing else to be done, come back and see me in a couple months!"

    "okay, doctor, sir!"

    the end.

you'll have to imagine it all in grandoise, over-the-top voices. it would be better if i wrote it in the Q&A-style of speaking that he has, because it's actually quite entertaining, but i can't do that justice in writing. but i was almost completely right. instead of a couple months, it'll be six months, and i didn't have to go see him, but if i'm getting bloodwork done (again) i'd rather know what's going on with it all.

it was surprisingly stressful. i knew exactly what would happen, but i still got to the semi-ready-to-cry feeling, something that i thought i'd managed to get under control lately. but i suppose it's expected if you're suddenly stressed out, or if you know what's going to happen but you're still hopinghopinghoping to hear something else instead.

idiopathic mesangial proliferative glomerulonephritis, mild. this is one of the few definite things anyone can tell me about my kidneys. translated, it means that my mesangial cells are mildly swollen (ritis) in general, AND WHY?

    id·i·o·path·ic adj.
      Of or relating to a disease having no known cause.

nobody knows! which should just be stamped all over my medical record at this point. chronic hep B? dunno why, sorry, can't do much about it...maybe you should just become paranoid about everything and separate yourself from the rest of humanity in case you infect them, even if that's not actually that likely... clicking head? no one knows why (and few believe me). pinched nerve? dunno why, you must be too skinny. can't do much about it! strange lump in a worrisome place? maybe it's your clitoris!* knee "popping out"? no...you don't need surgery! just don't go skiing. or run. or jump. dizzy? you must be dehydrated...even though you've been drinking water constantly. just don't do much of anything until it stops. so am i supposed to be really concerned about any of this? well...i don't know. but have these tests done and we'll see you in a few more months!

i'm not a hypochondriac. you can't be a hypochondriac if you're actually right whenever there's a problem. i'm so sick of this, though. it's surprisingly stressful to know that there's stuff wrong with you and you don't know why and you don't know what you can do about it and you don't know how serious a concern it is and you don't know if you're a hazard to people around you or not because no one can give you a direct answer about anything but they all exagerrate because they think that it's better to be safe then sorry and don't think of what sort of mental effect that has on a person who's trying to continue feeling "normal"... it's fuckin great for the self-confidence and ability to be comfortable just being you, i can tell you that much.

so i only half-won our bet, so i owe agnes gelato, and she owes me gelato. we both win.

ah, it's good to be me...

* if you missed out on that story, just ask and i'll tell you. doctors can be fuckin stupid. STUPID.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

novel wordcount: still, sadly, 0. written other things, but not my novel. this will be rectified tomorrow, however -- laptop will be in tow, because i'll have a good couple hours to kill between meetings tomorrow morning.

mike was my bucket o'sunshine today.

he was the first person i saw this morning. he came in as i was going through mail, complained about the society, complained about the upcoming meeting, complained about the missing Board, complained about how much he hated the world, complained a little more, and the twirled around to stalk off -- but stopped quickly to tell me that i was wearing a lovely skirt.

when i ran into him at the radio station he complained about the world, told me my taste was lacking, challenged me for not liking country, told anyone listening to the radio that my upcoming show was going to be the Hour Of Hatred and set me up to be evil, made me laugh when i got on air and mocked my (lack of) professionality, and then quickly disappeared -- but not before he quickly told me that i was wearing a lovely skirt.

there was a brief conversation about how people don't compliment each other enough, and he said that he'll always tell people when they're dressed nicely "because i'm superficial and that's all that matter to me."

i think that i'm going to enjoy crossing paths with mike more often, as long as his love of country don't start to rub off on me.

also, i really shouldn't be allowed to have caffeine. it's so much fun to be drunk on it, though.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

i think i may have found my Continued-Ed-Turned-Therapy-Group today.

see, in one of the films i saw at the film fest (a swedish film called Four Shades of Brown), part of the plot revolved around this "cooking class." at least, that was what it was supposed to be. a group of 5 people got together regularly, but rather than learning to cook (or maybe they just did it offscreen), they would bring fancy food and a bottle of wine and sit in the community centre and discuss things. of course, inevitably, given the kind of film it was, there were some fucked up secrets that came out. but barring the admissions of pedophelia and whatnot, i really enjoyed the concept of a group that was supposed to have been a class that really just turned into a group therapy meeting, and i wished i could figure out what the code words would be to find a class like that in the Continuing Education catalogues.

and then today i went mask-making at a gallery downtown. it's something new, supplies are provided, and it's creating something. and, in a few weeks, there's a workshop on using them in performance. but i digress.

today was wet and rainy and miserable, and there were five of us in this sparse gallery (it's between shows at the moment), and we were learning to make masks and making molds of each others' faces, but we all just began to chat about things entirely unrelated to the masks, things that were usually things you might not mention to friends. but, like everyone knows, sometimes it's easier to talk to complete strangers about things that you feel strongly about. and that's what happened. even the dynamics of the group seemed similar to what my ideal group would be.

it was fun. we discussed music and culture and fears and confusions and plans and made masks. hopefully next week is the same.

i'm kind of glad that we've hit the rainy season. it's cozy being on this side of the window, seeing all the lights in the valley disappear because the rain's pounding down so hard. although it would be cozier to be asleep in bed right now...

Monday, November 01, 2004

rabbit rabbit!
Sloth is mean to children. someone gave me a Death Card -- i dare not lose it. a random masked man accosted me on the street -- apparently it was the moustache that appealed to him. Frida Kahlo and i discussed moustache-removal techniques. someone was a Sun-Ripe Raisins box, but it was the robots with flashing lights that impressed me most. ran into June, again. i always run into June. sometime, we might actually plan to run into each other and spend more than a few moments in passing together. got to see The Winks. danced to drums and dixieland bands. was blessed a few times over by flowers and glitter. someone gave me a cookie, "To fight corporate crime with cookies!" ayanna wouldn't touch it. i think it might have been a vegan cookie -- tasted good either way. got to ooh and aah over everyone's costumes, and to try to remember a few of them for next year.

so far, i've been (or tried to be) a French Distraction (costume incomplete), Sarah's Closet, a Princess (costume discarded because the dress was too nice to risk ruining last night), NOT a Reporter (UNDERCOVER!!! shhhhh!!!), a '50s Doll-Girl, and something militaristic (failed because I couldn't bear wearing the insignia). still have to come up with something for this afternoon. because going to carve pumpkins still needs a costume!

might end up going down to the park to play with fire. i'm not as good as the people last night, but hey, it's coquitlam, the kids'll think it's pretty nifty no matter what. with any luck, daniel will be there to watch me burst into flames . . . and laugh at me.

14.5 hours until NaNoWriMo . . . still no title . . .