Sunday, May 30, 2004

today daniel is dealing with dead chickens. what a job.

today i managed to stay awake all the day long (though, at times, barely) and didn't copy my lerche sound files but did help sleeve and visit ed and listen to good music and go see art grads do nifty things with J&K before going to Tim Horton's (where else at that time of night?) for chilli (yay, first meal of the day!) to discuss silly things and watch grade eights dropping by after their grad party as they played a mean game of Rock, Scissors, Paper.

today my head just feels fuzzy and full of cotton but sleep should fix that.

today i felt sorry for being rude to people, but only in retrospect, because for some reason, when my body starts to shut down, i become less friendly to the people i'm already friends with, even while being very friendly with complete strangers. but unfortunately i never realise i'm doing that until afterwards.

today was, i think, a good day. it's just hard to remember that it's now early sunday morning. since thursday, there's been no differentiation between one day and the next.

happy belated birthday, julie, by the way, even if birthdays are silly things. so actually, then, happy julie day!

. . . dead chickens . . .

Friday, May 28, 2004

i smell like water. i like it.

a seven minute bikeride to the busstop drenched me for good earlier today, and i still had two more 15-minute rides to make on the other end of the bus route. but after a certain point, when you're soaked already, it really doesn't matter if you get wetter. i'm very sorry that my shoes are drowned and out of commission for the next few days, though. i debated wearing the not-quite-fuckme boots, because i think that my knee can almost handle the heel, but the brief idea of going to the gym tomorrow shot that idea down. as cool as the boots may be, they're not quite suitable for a workout.

but back to being wet.

i don't think i've been quite that wet since the Worst Night Ever in milano. and it's just funny how something that seemed like the most miserable, horrible, terrible night of my life at the time isn't quite so bad in retrospect. i almost want to go visit milano again.*

almost.

but it wasn't such a bother being drenched and having to stay that way for a few hours. although knowing that i'd be able to sit in the shower for a good 20 minutes when i got home, in hopes of warming up my extremities did make it bearable. and, in that respect, a little different from milano.

at any rate. i don't think i need to worry about dehydration for awhile. i'm certain that the equivalent of a small lake has seeped into my skin today.

* wow. just looking back through archives... i never ever did post about why milan was so terrible. well, constant overnight rain and having nowhere to stand under cover or to warm up or dry off or sleep was a large part of it (though there are times when being a girl and resorting to tears will get you places, unfortunately), and i will do my utmost to dissuade most everyone from going there if i get the chance.


it's romania.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

this is certainly more than i knew about the Rhinoceros Party before. didn't know they were related to the pie-throwers. i wish they were still around. wouldn't vote for them, but i'd certainly enjoy hearing their ideas for the next month.

ran for 21 minutes today. quite exciting, realising that i could do it. added bonus: feeling kinda dizzy for 8 minutes afterwards. and then pretended to be hardcore and lifting weights later on. fun fun fun! much better way to spend the evening than the original plan (would have missed the movie by the time we were ready to leave anyways).

i've had glenn gould playing bach stuck in my head all day long, after reading an article about colm feore (who played GG years ago) this morning at physio. it's not really a bad thing, but all his humming along to the music is starting to grate.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

i'm happy to announce that i like sondre's music, and not only because of the associated memories i have with it. at least, after tonight, i have a new appreciation for all his music. and the guy's adorable onstage, talking between every song. strangely, his delivery and dry humour was very similar to frode and sverre's.... who are also norwegians. so maybe that's the norsk personality.

(but, if it is, then what's the canadian personality?)

at any rate. after, i think, trying to force meself to be excited about the show (i wasn't in the greatest of moods earlier), i'm glad that i don't have to have forced meself to've enjoyed it once it began.

it was almost as good as a hug today.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

overheard the strangest bus conversation ever today. there was a mom and her child sitting across from me, mom couldn't have been more than 21 or 22. awhile after they got on, a group of more people that age got on, and she called out to the last guy to get on. obviously they knew each other but hadn't seen each other in a long long time. he asked when she became a mom and she said a year and a half ago.

her: what about you? how's amanda [his girlfriend or ex-gf, you soon figured out]?
him: she's dead, actually.
her: what???
him: yeah, she died three months ago, now.
her: .... what happened?
him: she stepped on something on the beach and her leg got infected and she had to have surgery but she died during it.
her: .... what about the kids, then?
him: well i'm working to get full custody of them - i have visiting rights right now...

...and the conversation went on. apparently it sounds like amanda had a few problems of her own anyways, drugs were mentioned. but he's a dad of two, even though he's younger than i am.

when he asked her what made her decide to have a kid, because he'd never seen her as a mom-type, she explained that she had a revelation at a party and realised that she did want to have children, "and then a few months later when i got pregnant, i figured i'd keep it."

touching.

i felt strange listening into that conversation. it felt almost wrong. almost, but not quite. because really, that's got to be one of the most eventful bus conversations i'll ever hear, and surely that's worth something.

in other news, first hotdog roast of the summer happened tonight. it became more of a mannette-caufield family gathering. the dads commiserated on their lots in life, the kids mocked each other, a marshmallow was tossed into the fire (it's tradition), and conversations revolved around porn, sex, hitler, martial arts, the illusion of reality tv shows, and jobs. and then we played N64 tetris. next time, if we plan things a little earlier than last minute, you're invited too!

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

jodi was my muse today. i felt bad because she'd come all the way to my house just to sit in my room and inspire me to finish some things i've put off for weeks now. but it's nice to have a muse. too bad i don't have final papers to write anymore, elsewise i'd consider paying her to do it for me more often.

**********************

i finally got my hands on my official OR report from knee surgery (dr's secretary's a bit of a bitch to deal with, so physio took awhile to get it). fascinating reading.

"We then prepped and draped the left lower extremity in the usual sterile fashion." it's probably just me, but that line's damn funny.

references made here and there to how tiny i am: "these were very small tendons in this female."

lots of drilling that i didn't know about. apparently they tried an 8mm screw originally "but [it] did not have much purchase in this patient's soft bone. The 9 x 23 mm screw had reasonable purchase."

and apparently total tourniquet time was 110 minutes. but i was out for 4 hours. weird.

random things could be considered dirty out of context, too. "I could sublux it part way into the joint." ooh baby, i wanna sublux you, too!

**********************

today's busride was full of stereotypes and generally memorable people. Liberace came on, after he'd locked down the bike he musta just bought for his grandkid - hair, gaudy outfit, fake smile, everything. there was the drunk likely-addict couple that was in a happy mood when they got on, before starting to fight and yell at each other. male-half of the couple tried to start a fight with over-aggressive-teenager-who-despises-the-world because said teenager was taking out his anger by punching every pole of the bus that he passed. darling grandmother said goodbye to her daughter and grandkids before getting on the bus and gushed about them until she got off. young-at-heart hippie senior sat there eagerly scribbling notes while carrying her oversize backpack, only stopping to go out and worridly help Liberace put his bike on properly.

and then we passed one car accident which, while it looked pretty bad, was far from completely terrible and no one looked too badly hurt - they were just checking people for whiplash as we drove by. but the entire neighbourhood and probably the ones next door had come out and was standing around gawking at The Big Event. there must have been over a hundred people standing around on sidewalks surrounding the site, craning their neck and making "oh dear" faces. And considering all the emergency vehicles that were there at that point, the accident had happened awhile back by then. despite the tragedy of a car accident, the whole scene was pretty amusing in how small-town-ish it seemed.

**********************

and then daniel and i played Bodybuilders in front of the bathroom mirror. neither of us can figure out how to properly do that move that female bodybuilders always seem to be doing in their pictures, where they have their hands together in front, showing off their amazing shoulder muscles. we both just look silly doing it.

but then again, looking silly's not very unusual for us, anyways.

this weight-lifting thing'll lose it's shiny veneer shortly, i'm sure. but right now, it's great fun to play with.
i think that this is the first picture ever that's made me think, "huh, rebecca and i do look an awful lot alike." because usually i'm surprised that anyone ever mistakes us as twins.

my mom was quick on the trigger, though. rebecca and i did a split-second pose to make fun of my mom for always having to pose every single picture that she takes (and she takes a lot) before running off to the ferry.


aren't we cuuuuuuute????
we were getting along that weekend, i think.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

today, may 17, is the norwegian constitution day. yay!

here's prim, a cheese i really miss:


here's a picture of a street in oslo, that stefan liked because, he said, oslo actually looked pretty in it (i didn't think it was an ugly city..):


here's the anarchist building in oslo, near where stefan lived. it was an abandoned building that the anarchists moved into and claimed as their own in the 1970s, and last summer the police were threatening to kick them out. so the anarchists had boarded up the windows and covered up a lot of the artwork and replaced it with battle-ready images. apparently the police never ended up invading, so the anarchists still have it. (sorry they're not scanned with better resolution so that you can see it all):




the anarchist building, though, is also a heritage building of sorts, because this artist lived there for awhile. so the whole building's been painted over except the sign saying that "munch lived here":


the munch museum, by the way, was the only museum that stefan would agree to bring me to. he's rather against all the viking "propaganda" that's about. s'alright. i wasn't interested in the vikings anyways. i did, however, kinda want to go to the "kunst industri museet" if only because of the art outside, but i missed the opening hours every time i was in oslo:


and here's part of the sandefjord fjord (i think), where we caught cod and disturbed cthulhu and lost an anchor and nearly drowned in huge waves:


and here's the signs that taunted me constantly, for i never got to see a single moose. (i did get to see a musk ox from the train, once, though.):


this is a norwegian (så søt!) that i'll likely be talking to sometime this week, and seeing next week. det er spennende!

oh yes. and the artwork on my page is by lars fiske, who's also norwegian. norway norway norway norway norway!

so. happy norwegian constitution day! if anyone wants to celebrate, maybe i'll be able to remember the lyrics and dance to "hans the moose." maybe.

Monday, May 17, 2004

as of today, the only theatres i'll go to are new west, tinseltown, or pinetree. or the festival theatres, but those are slightly excluded in usual listings anyways. paid $8 to see a film today, and as fun as it was, that's way too much fuckin money to go to a movie. when the hell did $5 matinees disappear??? who on earth has money to see movies when they're priced that much? it's not gonna encourage anyone not to download movies for free, now, is it.

however. that said. having cashed a cheque yesterday, i felt deceptively rich (or at least allowed to spend money) and decided to see Van Helsing today with ed. and i enjoyed it muchly. probably because i didn't have high expectations. would have liked to've seen the entire film in black and white, like it is in the beginning, because it would have suited the Monster Flick genre all the better then, but it was still fun. cheesy lines. lotsa monsters. wandering accents. lots of opportunities for mockery. random shots of praha -- i mean, "budapest" -- to make me feel prague-sick. but i realised that something i saw being filmed the day i met ondrej was actually for van helsing. good times...

sometime before i die, however, i need to attend a party like the one in the film, with acrobats and contortionists and choreographed dancing and fancy costumes and lots of colour (offset by beautiful shades of black) and violinists balanced on giant balls. ed says i need to be a lot more evil in order to ever attend one. so i'm gonna work on it. or perhaps i'll just host one meself some day, in my magnificent mansion that i'll never buy with the money i'll never earn.

you're all invited, of course.
now there's a book without verbs. what's the book that was written without the letter E?
my arms hurt a little. in a nice way. i want to do it again tomorrow... or start yoga or something.

now i'm gonna go get addicted to working out. that ain't that bad.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

i've decided that synchronised swimming is a decidedly creepy sport. a friend of mine used to do it when we were kids, and at the time, i always kinda sorta wanted to try it out, but never did. but today, there was some synchro swimming championship happening at SFU, and after watching each girl struggling to stay synchronised to everyone else in her group, struggling to achieve moves that could prolly have been practiced a little more, struggling painfully to keep that big smile on their faces... it was just slightly frightening. as was the group pep talk for seven-year-olds that i overheard in the lockerroom ("now everyone, visualise the performance, imagine every single move. find your special place in your mind and keep it...").

the nose-plug doesn't help them look any more non-satanic, either. but the whole thing is about show without substance. it's scary.

course, the only reason any of this crossed my mind today was because today, for the first time ever i checked out the SFU gyms! but only the weightroom was still open by the time shawn and i got there. so we tried to blend in with all the buff, muscled types and pretended to know how to do proper exercises with weights. we may not have succeeded in blending in very well, but no one kicked us out and we may even do it again next week. before long i'll have the strength of ten men - just you wait!

amazingly, i don't feel any strain on my muscles yet. except for my palms, where old callouses from the bar in gymnastics got a little bothered by the weights i played with today.

H A R D C O R E, mofo.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

i should feel like an evil person. i couldn't stop laughing when i went through the news section of the paper today. any story or image of tragedy that i came across today was just...funny. even pictures of dads mourning their sons who had been decapitated by iraqis.

but then i guess there's some days that you can only handle being upset for so long or for only so many reasons. and then you just have to laugh, regardless of the situation. besides, i usually laugh at inappropriate times, anyways.

***

i'm half-assedly trying out one feng-shui tip i learned yesterday, to see if it does any good. if it works, then i'll try more. (though apparently my desk and the stuff on it is set up in the best way possible, albeit in a messy version of it) so let me know if i suddenly seem at all productive in the coming week.

Monday, May 10, 2004

not a fan of the new blogger layout...

went underwear shopping with catherine yesterday because we both hate doing it with a passion and both put it off. zellers' selection of Underoos disappointed me. the only theme that i'd want was available in boys' sizes 3 and 4 only. the older-boy sizes were all The Incredible Hulk or the Batman ones with the stupid images on them. so no Underoos for me. so sad.

insider's tip for the betters:
rebecca's still in a worse position than i am. which really does suck for her.

got test results back today. if anyone's followed rebecca's situation on her page, then you'll sorta know what's going on. if you haven't, brief summary: she found out (kinda by chance) that she has chronic hep-b, and probably has for a long while. because she didn't know where she got it (but it was possible that she's had it since birth from my mom) i had a test too, but didn't expect anything out of it - i'd had the vaccination five or so years ago. turns out, i have no immunity to the virus whatsoever, despite having taken all the shots (which is apparently very strange and rare), which lead the doctor to send me off for more tests. and now, as of today, i know that i'm a carrier of the virus, though it's not active in me right now, as opposed to rebecca. doctor wants my brothers to go for tests, even though my mom's came back saying that she wasn't a carrier (although doctor also mentioned that it's possible that you can be a carrier, and then it'll just go away after awhile, so maybe that's what happened with my mom), because it'd be pretty coincidental that both rebecca and i have the virus in us from different situations.

and the fact that i have NO immunity but am a carrier is apparently very very strange. doctor sat there staring at the tests today trying to make sense of it. not much else to do about it, though. i mean, if i've got it in me, it's there, doesn't matter where it came from right now.

but even though rebecca's winning in the liver category, i do get to be sent for an ultrasound to check out my kidneys, for a completely different reason. so that'll be a bit of excitement.

so i'm not dying yet - at least, not of some terrible disease. i have a higher possibility of it now, but, at the same time, my body's no different today than i was yesterday or, potentially, four years ago.

though i have been told not to take tylenol anymore. not that i took much of it. but the post-operation painkillers were pretty strongly tylenol-based. and i've been told to stay away from eating a lot of red meat as well, though that might be more for the kidneys, i'm not sure. no big deal there, because i've noticed that over the past while i've stopped eating as much meat anyways - still love it, just not in the mood to eat (much of) it. and i bet people would find it nice of me not to infect them unknowingly. doctor said that sharing cups isn't much of a problem - hep-b's usually thought of as an STD for a reason (though it isn't, necessarily! case in point right here!) - but even so. i don't suggest people share glasses with me anymore.

maybe this can be my new secret power. can kill people at will! granted, it's a slow death, but i'm sure it'll be effective! ...unless they had the vaccination in grade six. curses. foiled again. gotta come up with a better super power.

but anyways, that's what's going on, for anyone who was interested. kinda neat finding out how i react to news like that. kinda neat seeing what other people do/say. most people don't seem to know what to say - no reason they should, there's nothing anyone can say that'll change the situation - which just leads to funny silences and eventual topic-changes ((usually by me). because what's the point of moping about something that you can't change? but it's a funny feeling wanting desperately to be with people, only to realise that you're in no mood for company (or at least not their's) as soon as you're with someone. no fault of their own, they're just not The Right Person to be there for you right then.

woulda been in the mood to bake cookies with someone tonight. instead, i just bought some at safeway instead. safeway select brand cookies leave a great deal to be desired.

so! how was your day/weekend/week/month?

* note to ed: thank you for the concern. really. sorry if you were worried by my ambiguity, i didn't really know what was up until this afternoon either. and as of next week the cjsf listings'll have "compiled by the ubiquitous ed" attached to them, sorry it wasn't included this week! {g}

Sunday, May 09, 2004

my cat's a prude. rebecca has mentioned it before, but today's the first day i've been the brunt of toothpick's conservative ideals.

i'd just had a shower this afternoon and couldn't be bothered to get dressed yet, and was sitting at the computer writing an email when toothpick came into my room. and for a long while she just sat there and meowed as though she was trying to tell me something (which she doesn't usually do that annoyingly; she's usually relatively calm). i figured she wanted to jump onto my lap like she sometimes does when i'm at the computer, but when she finally did jump up and landed on skin rather than clothes, she pulled back, quite horrified, and tried to sit on the edge of the chair, as far away from me as possible, but it wasn't long before she left me because she couldn't even stand me petting her.....nekkid.

she hates being in the room when you're getting changed, too. how she can tell the difference between a clothed human and a nekkid human, or why she hates skin, i do not know. wonder what she'd do if it was ever pointed out to her that she's, well, nekkid herself...

Thursday, May 06, 2004

insider tip for the betting folk among you:

picking which caufield family member will die first or who will have the worst medical affliction when tests and whatnot are finished could be lucrative at this point.

currently my sister and i are up for Worst Affliction. time will tell if the boys take part as well.


....stupid fuckin doctors who don't tell you the whole story....
for the rest of this week and next, whenever i drive up to SFU i'm parking at burnaby mountain park and hiking up. whoever wants a ride, let me know.

because hiking up the hill's nicer with company.
today's the day that i was scheduled to go back to prague.

looks like that didn't happen. still have the return ticket available, at least.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

according to a book of julie's, "the majority" of sexual encounters in the U.S. occur at 10:34 p.m. this revelation was made at precisely 10:34 p.m. tonight. such timing.

today i learned that i was an annoying baby. apparently i cried and screamed all the time for no good reason. the doctor told my mother that i was bored. solution? my mother carried me around in a snuggly while she did the chores, and that shut me up because i had things to look at. but after a certain point my mother needed a break, so she had to put me down to do some of the work and i'd start crying all over again. finally my mother decided to drown me out, so she put me in the next room and turned up the CBC until she couldn't hear my screams anymore. but when she did that, i shut up immediately and just lay there listening intently to classical music. so she'd found a new way to keep me interested in the world that let her get her work done from then on.

so apparently i was a music person from the beginning. fascinating, don't you think?
the dynamics in the house have shifted. david (another sibling) is here for a month. and him and i don't have much of a relationship (both at fault) so it's just a little strange. and because now the tv's blaring more crap television than usual and odder hours. and there's music that plays a floor below me when i'm trying to sleep.

it would be so very nice to live elsewhere right now. i don't want to be living at home. i just wish i had the money to have a choice in the matter. but hopefully the summer will be too busy to care about the place i live.

so. who wants to go canoeing this week/weekend?

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

h e a d a c h e

maybe i should start trying to remember to eat.

busy busy day. and yet not. but the day started at 7am and it's now 10:45pm and i just got home.

be a nice sister, work on email quitting praha thingy but don't get round to sending it, go to doctor (who doesn't believe me, just means i'll be back in a day or so), physio, finish bridal show stuff, blood test, up to SFU, pseudo-meeting, minidisc recorder, zoom home to get minidisc, downtown for citizen's assembly meeting, then home.

and i'd send the quitting email but i want to finetune it a bit more (MUST LEAVE LOOPHOLES FOR EASY ESCAPE IF NEED BE) and head's aching too much right now.

and although the blood test is for something not too good, it's a little exciting anyways. kinda like writing a final exam and thinking that you failed but still just wanting to know for sure. well, not quite, but still. now i'm kinda looking forward to thursday/friday, whenever results come back.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

on wednesday ed and i went on a soundwalk around the kits beach area. amazingly, ed had never been there before. amusing, after he'd bitched on about how much he hates the beach earlier, we ended up walking up and down it for a long while. poor ed. {g}

he's already written about it here and said most of what i would have written if i'd gotten around to posting this earlier. including the bit about some people taking the whole thing a little too seriously. or maybe that's not the right word. you can take things seriously and still have fun and find things amusing. you don't have to be extremely studious about the whole thing, like some people were. course, i was finding it a little hard to bite my tongue the whole time - we were supposed to be walking silently while we listened to everything - and caved a few times to point things out. but really, what good is finding something amusing if you can't know that someone else is appreciating it with you?

but it was neat seeing/being the show. basically, we, a group of 15 or so people, walked around for something over an hour, just listening. most people noticed something was going on.

when we walked past one couple the girl called out to us asking what was going on. i doubt she had any idea what a "soundwalk" was, though.

or there was the pair of guys with identical un-tucked white dress shirts and sloppy ties and long hair who looked like they'd lost their band.

but the people who didn't notice any of us were more interesting. most people would become quiet when they were keeping pace with us, but one couple was completely oblivious to us, busy carrying on a conversation in both spanish and english (didn't matter - i'd started to just hear sounds rather than words after a certain point). what was more fun was watching the body language, seeing how much she wanted him to hold her hand but not saying anything for a long while.

but anyways. good fun. nice to wander along the beach at sunset.

can anyone tell me why people get so excited about seeing cranes, though? it's not like they're uncommon here, you see them all the time. but no one ever gets excited and points out seagulls... so why the cranes?