Friday, October 22, 2004

i shared the bus stop today. just after i got there, another girl showed up, a sports bag and knapsack and safeway bag and sweater in tow as she shuffled quickly across the street, trying not to lose her slip-on shoes halfway across. when she made it to my side, she put on her sweater (under her jean jacket, over her tank top, despite the fact that it was honestly chilly this morning), and started to shuffle the contents of the bags until they all fit into two, rather than three.

i found her so absolutely, positively annoying. her mere existence there beside me had me tense, tapping my foot, gritting my teeth, trying so hard not to get up and push her into the street -- or at least to refrain from saying something snarky to her.

i don't know why. i don't know who she was. i've never seen her before. she wasn't exuding any attitude of any sort, she was minding her own business, her only fault was standing right in the way of my ability to see the bus coming, but she was catching the same bus i was, so it's unlikely i'd have missed the bus because neither of us looked expectant when it came by. i wasn't in a bad mood, and i certainly wasn't in a cranky mood when i ran into anyone else later on.

i've hated people because they kept drumming to the beat of bad music, or, worse, sung along with it. i've hated people for being able to hear them chew loudly when i'm trying to concentrate. i've hated people for perpetually sniffing, or for having an annoying laugh, or for snoring in hostels. i've hated people for missing unspoken (but obvious) pleas for listening or attention or hugs. but i've never hated someone just because, from the moment they entered my awareness.

fortunately the bus came a few minutes after, before my annoyance with her became too much to stand. hopefully she isn't at the busstop tomorrow morning.

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