Thursday, August 05, 2004

guess what. biopsies aren't as bad as reconstructive knee surgery. who woulda guessed?

natasha was there as my support. and support me she did. we wandered around and explored while we waited for them to call me. we saw illicit exchanges between russian secret spies on the rooftop courtyard. when i got a bracelet for admissions, she asked for one too so that we could be bracelet buddies. we learned that Code Black means a bomb threat, Code Yellow means escaped/missing patient (heard an announcement for that later on in the day), and Code Yellow Maternity means abduction. she snickered when the nurse explained to us that the doctor would "introduce" the needle to my kidney, and did a little puppet show of the introductions that would take place. she made wookie noises when we found out dr. "chewey" was going to be taking the pieces of me. after discussing how much fun it would be to be having a biopsy in transylvania, where everyone would have a creepy accent, she was just as thrilled as i was when the ultrasound-ist had a very heavy french accent. she made me laugh and make jokes up until the moment they were going to start with the needles. she had no problem standing there watching them stab gigantic needles into my back as i tried to break her fingers squeezing her hand.

natasha wins the prize for being bestest hospital companion EVER.

from comments that we heard, we think that people assumed that we were a couple. hee.*

but when natasha had to leave, sharon did a good job taking over. but by then all i was allowed to do was lie on my back. not my side, not sit up, just LIE THERE. it sucked. but time passed (all 6 hours of it) and all was good. and i'm already laughing more and joking more and feeling happier and calmer than i have in over a week, so it just goes to show you how much you can stress subconsciously.

my nurse for the day was very cool (and cute). super friendly, came and chatted with us a bunch, got a kick out of natasha in the morning, brought sharon and i an extra meal so that she could eat too. hopefully we'll run into her again. given her tastes and interests it actually seems possible that we might.

i was the youngest person in the ward, by far, though. which, considering that it's the kidney ward, makes sense, because most people were there for dialysis things or whatnot, already in their "years of maturity". so felt a little odd, but at least i didn't have IV needles stuck into me!

oh, and kidneys are a lot pinker than i thought. i expected it to be a deeper shade of red. and the samples they take? they're roughly this width/length: ----------------. that's it. a huge, snapping crack sound, and a sample that large shoots out the other side of this silver, boxy thing that hosts the GIANT needle (at least a foot long, says natasha - like i'd even try to watch). such a weird procedure. but i'm surprised that i'm this worn out after it. the physical stress, when you get down to it, isn't all that much - it's a needle and 3 little samples taken that are quickly closed over. the mental stress is a lot, but that doesn't usually tire you out and make you dizzy like this. maybe it's psychosomatic, i don't know. i don't think so, though.

my back's hot pink from the antiseptic they used. if only it were the 80s, i'd be so cool...

but. all in all, st. paul's hospital wins for being friendlier and more fun. coulda been the company. coulda been that a biopsy isn't as bad as knee surgery. coulda been because i actually got meals this time round. but hey, it wasn't that bad of a day in the end.

* which i thought was kinda cool. because if i'd been at the hospital here in coquitlam, NO ONE would assume that, or, at least, no one would make comments suggesting that. i'm not sure if it's because St Paul's is right by davie street, or if it's just because it was downtown. but either way, yay.

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