Wednesday, June 30, 2004

today was probably one of the worst days i've had in a long while. it may even beat the day i had my surgery. i don't think i've ever been so upset before.

however, it's been a pretty good day because of it, in a roundabout sort of way. terrible crises make for realisations of which people around you are good people. and they'll suddenly make you a little bit closer to people you hardly knew at all before then.

on saturday, inspired by a silly worksheet that we used, i asked one of my tutees to write a love story. today i got to read it. afterwards he admitted that he stole the story from a korean bestseller, but i must say, it was the best love story i'd read in awhile, even after any fun grammatical errors. a boy and girl meet on the train. years later, they're at the same university, she's 3 years ahead. he loves her, but nothing happens, and after she graduates, he spends the next 7 years loving her even though she's not there. by then, he's a radio dj and she's a novelist. somehow they cross paths and fall and love. her family says, "don't do it! you're rich and he's poor!" but they marry anyways. and she becomes pregnant. and then she gets cancer. but she doesn't have an abortion because that won't cure her disease. so she dies. but the baby lives. the end.

it made me happy to read it. i like my tutees.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

my day as a government official at the election is over. got to work at a booth with julie and we had fun. so, cool things that happened:

- mrs perry, the noon-hour supervisor from my elementary school came to my poll-booth and (pretended to) recognise me when i told her my name! it's funny how you remember the noon-hour supervisor with such rose-coloured glasses. but i liked her.

- there was a really really tall guy who came. i was just astonished by the fact that his knees were almost as high off the ground as the tabletop was. julie didn't seem as impressed.

- The Big Guy Who Carries His Tiny Dogs To Parkland School Fields On A Regular Basis worked another poll booth. he's big and round and has a big white beard. he works as santa claus around christmas. so whenever i was sarcastic or (accidentally) shot elastic bands his way he marked another point by my name. fortunately i succeeded in the string trick three times in a row, so he took me off the naughty list again.

- the liberal scrutineer was a nice woman. when it was starting to get boring, i had started to pretend that i knew how to play cat's cradle, and she showed me a cut-the-finger string trick. took me an hour or so to figure out but now i can do it like a pro.

- karl voted. at my pollbooth. which is fun to no one other than meself, really. i'm curious to know who he picked.

- the grand result of my Query Of The Day, whether tic-tac-toe sucked or not, was a resounding "yes, it does." this was determined by asked a full 1 other person, outside of me and julie. therefore, it is true.

- got an sms from finland halfway through the day. yay sanni!

- the phrase "paul forseth" is quick probably going to haunt my dreams tonight. when we counted ballots, he won in our particular box, and his name was becoming hypnotic whenever it was read out.

- carli, the green party candidate, got a decent number of votes in all the boxes (from what i could hear). nothing staggering, but a decent proportion, which is cool mostly because she's actually quite young, but people are voting for her, regardless. nice to see that ageism isn't quite as rampant as you might expect. (actually, according to the cbc website right now, she's got 6% of the vote in all of the riding. in comparison, the green candidate in burnaby-douglas is at 3.6%... {g} though there's still a lot of polls to count in each.)

- julie and i were so awesome that we closed up everything for our poll first, even faster than the veteran pollbooth people. we're so cool.

- one of the NDP scrutineers told us that she'd been working at elections in some way for 50 years now. she was nice, even if she was a little annoying, trying to get information when she wanted it, rather than when it was convenient. but oh well.

long long days like that, when they're staggered, are a lot of fun. at least, that's what i think. i kinda miss the auctions because they were just like that: looooooooooong days, waves of business, fun banter.

Monday, June 28, 2004


natasha is secretly one of my heros. because she's cool. because she's got things under control. because she has one cat who's a bitch and another cat who's going blind and a complete freak. because she talks as bluntly and loudly and (sometimes) obnoxiously as is humanly possible and manages to befriend everyone she's around. because she's got a bizarre job. because she's russian. because she's got great stories. because she's got a greater way of telling them.

today i went to her place for the sole purpose of getting her a car battery. i even missed the second half of the football game to do it. we managed to get the battery, even though the place was closed. too bad we didn't have the cords to attach it properly in the end to make sure that it works. and then we hung out with a stray dog until the SPCA came to pick it up. and told stories and ate cold things.

i'm getting more and more worried about the pain in my side. i have an appointment to see a kidney-ologist, but that for september 13th or something stupid like that. which doesn't help me right now. if it weren't messing with my moods and making me dead tired half the time, i wouldn't mind so much. but as it is, i'd rather be in a good mood so that i can at least figure everything else out in my life right now.

saw jazz last night, and it was good. still can't hear out of one ear, but what do you expect from a 10-piece band. opening group was awesome for the faces they made while playing. and for doing jazz versions of pixies and black sabbath and whatnot - things you wouldn't expect to hear done in jazz. and because they had a song that took place in my birthyear, which somewhat makes up for the travesty that smashing pumpkins wrote. 1979 is cooler again. ironically, rachel and i had been discussing birthyear songs just before the show began. and jaga jazzist was as i expected them to be. good, not necessarily so much of a stage show, but the drummer really wants to be a rock star, making the faces, telling the audience he loved us, throwing his sticks into the crowd. vast contrast to the other guy in the front who seemed to pointedly ignore the fact that there was anyone else other than the band in the room. good show, though. hope some pictures turned out.

before the show rachel and i ended up walking from commercial drive to the commodore. took us maybe 35, 40 minutes, so it wasn't that bad. walked down hastings, though, which was interesting going from a not-so-grand-but-alright part of hastings down through the worst part and out again. got a random compliment on my shoes as we'd just passed main street. for the first time i felt genuinely disturbed, probably because i went through the transition that way. not like feeling disturbed because i was worried for my safety or worried because i felt like i was being watched or anything, but disturbed because of the fact that our society allows (and possibly depends) on situations like that existing in the first place. ended up in an interesting debate with rachel about all of it, though, but then again, it's rachel. she's always good for interesting conversations.

found a key i thought i'd lost months ago. which means a free $10 for me when i go return it on tuesday.

doh. there's a wasp in the room. gotta turn off all lights and computer screens til it flies back out again.
the BBC football announcers are so very poetic.

"the captain of the czech team with his fair, sun-bleached hair..."

"merlin-esque, with his capabilities to drive the czech team on..."

"bathed in sunshine, the sky a washed-out blue, the river winding away, it's abeautiful day... as nedved pushes through to kolar."

i'm really becoming a football fan, and it's all my own doing. so who wants to watch the semi-finals or the final game with me?

Saturday, June 26, 2004

my body's falling apart today. my knee's been worse because of the weather changes, my ex-broken arm's acting up a little as well, my abdomen's a little achy, but i'm getting used to that (yay, specialist september???), my right index finger's hurting like the dickens (i think it's a sprain that will never ever go away, it keeps persisting no matter what i do), and i think i broke my toe yesterday tripping over a plastic bag in my hurry to send a mocking message to brit friends when portugal won. that last one was karma, i think, and that's fair enough. it's still hurting a day later, though, so now i'm a little concerned.

what an unfortunate day to be feeling energetic.

today's radio show (3-4pm PST) will probably be groovy. or at least silly. something. so GET COOL NOW!!

Friday, June 25, 2004

who scored? who scored? PORTUGAAAAL!!! {g}

i'm rooting for not-England. i know too many brits. i need to taunt them. go go portugaaal!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

my tutees were fun today. the younger one's finally getting a good enough grasp of english to try more creative things, so i've been dictating words to him every day and he writes sentences. but they're not always good ones. and he knows when i'm going to tell him it's not good enough, too. but at this point i think he does it because he knows it'll make me laugh first. for example:

EVERYTHING: I love everything.
SUGAR: I eat sugar.

just imaging him sitting there in the middle of the room, shovelling sugar into his mouth, spoonful by spoonful. EES FUNNY.

i like my kids. i just wish they lived a titch closer. but i'm starting to really enjoy going through maple ridge, too. it's nice, as long as you're not stuck there.
i found out late last night that i had to vote today, or not at all. contrary to what i was told before, i can't vote the day of the election, even if i'm working the polls in my own riding. oh well.

frustrating as hell, because i had to choose whether to vote in terms of which local representative i like, or how i want things to be in a more nationalistic sense. because the two don't cross over. and then there's the automatic "root for the underdog" sensibility that pokes up as well...

it really is stupid, though, that i can't really vote how i'd like to. with all the talk of proposed changes for the future (granted, for now it's only BC, but if that works, maybe more will too), i really hope something works out.

had elections training today. was reminded once again how much i hate any sort of training, but more just because of the propaganda-style that things are done. didn't help when the fellow in charge came and started preaching to us how important it was to have youth voting.... as though he was trying to sell voting to us, when really, we're the wrong audience. i spent the time biting my tongue rather than arguing with him and pointing out that low voting rates might not mean high voter apathy.

....look at your hands, play with your pen, twiddle your thumbs, anything but look at him and counter his arguments....

hungry. need food. maybe ice cream. so hot right now... s'lovely.

Monday, June 21, 2004

"hey, everybody! let's commmence line-dancing!"

today rebecca, daniel and i went for breakfast with my dad at IHOP, as it's father's day and all. grandma, his mom, came too. i swallowed the fact that i've never been too keen on eating out for breakfast, as well as the fact that i tend not to like pancakes much at all and was actually feeling rather ill for the sake of the event. go me!

everyone except my grandma ordered the same meal. except that dad and daniel went for fried eggs, rather than scrambled. and daniel had to be different getting apple instead of strawberry. daniel and rebecca built creamer towers. when they ran out of creamer my grandma passed more to help out. grandma laughed at me when i flicked tea on meself playing with straws.

there's someone working there who i remember seeing there the last time we went to IHOP. which was with both parents. and all four kids. and i dressed up for it. which means that it was a LONG time ago. which means that said person's been there a long time. strange to see a face you recognise from years back at a restaurant like that.

i opted out of dancing in order to maybe get to talk to rebecca a bit before she went back to victoria, and to go with my dad to fix up the bike. and because i still wasn't feeling too well.

exciting times.

i do wonder what my grandma thinks about my parents' divorce and all. i have no idea what she thinks about it.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

up and down and up and down and up and down

wheeeee rollercoasters.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Day Of Awesomeness

or maybe not all of it. but its high points have been nice and tall. and any not-high points really weren't that low either.

had thai noodle salad and grilled cheese that was nice and tasty. sometimes you just have the desire to taste the taste of food-not-prepared-by-you.

swimming and jumping off the diving board and pretending to be a synchronised swimmer and being super secret spies trying to avoid all the evil agents in the other swimming lanes. (so we like to just play around in the pool rather than swimming laps. don't scoff. the lifeguards know that - they opened up the diving board just for us. see? we're cool.)

got the new beastie boys cd. and it's disappointing. but it's just getting preview copies in the mail.

found a replacement adapter that's got everything exactly the same as the old one. andrew not-wang-but-yang is my hero.

had an ice cream party in the offices down the hallway. laughed at silly things. watched titus gregory skipping on his way somewhere. it's happy-inducing.

took some photos of prettiness and used up a roll of film - and i forget what's on the first half, making it all the more exciting to develop this weekend.

hung out and chatted awhile longer because i wasn't in the mood to leave, though i was in the mood to be home and do the work i've got here. but not to go through the act of leaving yet.

biked down the hill, took the 143 route up the big hill as a last-minute decision, ended up biking the entire way home. which didn't take so long in the end, and wasn't near as bad as i expected - not after the first hill. except for the stupid people who drove pass me in their cars and gave me dirty looks for being on their road. and except for the highschool guys (read: assholes) who drove past super-close and yell at me which was enough to shock me a little (don't think they said anything, just wanted to scare/surprise me). and except for the people who zoomed past me in order to turn right before i reached the corner, causing ME to have to slow down quickly to not hit them. and except for the earache from the cold, but i've stuck a bandana in my bag for next time, just forgotten to do so for the past couple weeks. but i've accomplished half the goal of "biking to and from school at least once"! maybe next week i try going up the big hill.

came home to find a cheque from tutoring. for lots of money. and a bit more than i expected to boot. exciting. my bank account will be happy.

and now, gonna scan a bunch more before bed. fun fun fun!

yes. good, good day.

Monday, June 14, 2004

yaaaay ImageShack hosting.

for some reason the scanner makes images darker and fuzzier than they actually are. so the original of this looks much better. also strange how it fades out towards the right side (at least, it does on a PC), but that's to do with my coding, i know that. but that's not gonna stop me from posting it right now.

it's one of the kids we befriended last may in praha.
i'm likely gonna be sent to a kidney specialist soon, but the dr wanted to do one more ultrasound to be sure that the problem's not another organ. i'm pretty sure it isn't, as my kidney area's been achier every day. but the ultrasound appointment's set for wednesday, so i'm figuring i can bear it for a few more days. even though i think it'll prove useless. but i'm not gonna suddenly keel over and die in the next week if this has been a problem for awhile, i'd assume.

* * * *

my dad has officially been kicked out. and my mom's mother is going to be moving in shortly. my mom spent all day yesterday packing my dad's stuff into boxes (again), and today my dad's gone off to drive david to alberta, and when he gets back he's going to be staying at his mom's place until he finds a new home.

it's all very strange. i'm not taking either person's side, but i do think that the both of them have had their moments of extreme irrationality and childishness. daniel and i spent yesterday and today ignoring what was going on. and watched anime (he's still not come back alive yet). had short conversations about what we thought of our parents. the router's dead*, so scanned many many many pictures instead, as well. and maybe, when the connection's stable enough to upload, i'll get to throw them online.

aside from anything else that i think about the whole thing, the one thing that really messes me up is that with my dad living elsewhere, i have no vehicle anymore. because my mom's insurance doesn't allow me to drive her car. which means being pretty stranded in coquitlam, even in evenings. all the more incentive to move out by august, i suppose. except that i'd be abandoning daniel, then. maybe wherever i move to will allow pets....

marriage seems like a silly idea for so many reasons.

* adapter burnt itself out. anyone have an AC/AC one with 9V, 1000mA output? it's proving to be impossible to find to replace.

create your personalized maps

it's funny that the fact that i've been to a few places in north america (and nearly all in the western half) makes the world map so very red. when it really isn't that many places.

Friday, June 11, 2004

i have this memory of a hug, which by itself isn't so exciting, but the way that i've remembered it's pretty odd.

at the time, during the hug, my mind wandered a bit and i started to think how, if this hug had taken place in a film, the camera would be circling around, somewhat unsteadily, a flock of pigeons might fly up in the background, all the colours might be slightly saturated, all for the effect to make it a Big Event onscreen.

but it didn't take place onscreen. but for some reason, when i think about it now, i remember how it actually happened and i remember thinking all that, but those memories are overlaid with the onscreen version of the hug. they're separable, but they're still both there simultaneously. it's kind of strange. but cool. i like it.

thinking about it, though, vancouver really doesn't have that many pigeons to fly up behind any scene. or maybe i just got used to the huge hoards of them in prague - especially in staromestska namesti. vancouver's more of a crow city. last night there was a crow that terrorized the line-up for Riddick when it fell to the ground and couldn't fly up again, just hopped around between peoples' feet. it was surprising how many people shied away from it, too. poor crow... the bigger and uglier rat of the sky... i always liked crows, though.

this morning i had a dream that dock was teaching me the best way to wash my feet. there was much more that was taking place, but i can't remember the rest of it anymore, and the few notes i scribbled down when i woke up aren't much help. something about bands that don't exist. i'll have to ask dock about his feet-washing techniques now, though.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

i suddenly lost all my energy within a half-hour timeframe this afternoon. don't know why. but it was more emotional energy than anything else, which is the strange part, because there wasn't anything that happened or didn't happen to incite it.

but i was a trooper and went and watched the chronicles of riddick nonetheless. because there's nothing better for an odd mood than a crappy movie. and even though everyone from cjsf and their dog seemed to be going to the preview for napoleon dynamite, ed showed up for riddick with elisa, so there was a minor group of us. before the movie started, however, rachel and i were joking that, seeing as we were both feeling rather drained, we'd go home tonight and watch a sad movie and cry ourselves to sleep, because that's what we were both in the mood for.

when i finally got home (after t-bone ended up in the same skytrain as me by chance - yay company!), i'd forgotten about our comments. i watched a few more episodes of Full Metal Alchemist (current anime of choice), and the one that just ended right now, the last one of the night, ended with my favourite character dying.

he's dead! he was the best character of them all! and for the sake of anyone else who might watch the show sometime in the future, i won't say who it is, but... he's dead! and daniel, who's watched more episodes than i have, says that he's still dead as a doornail.

it's not quite enough to make me cry. but i was feeling in a good mood, and they had to go kill him. bastards.

i did get to have buffalo meat for dinner, though. tastes like beef.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004


that's what today was.

waiting to talk to someone before leaving the house this morning, while i learned more lame jokes. waiting to catch the bus, while trying to decide whether to actually take it or not. waiting to catch the bus down the hill after getting to school and copping out of the reason that i was supposed to be there today for something that's prolly more important anyways, while watching and discussing Beastie Boys videos and infomercials. waiting for a bus at the bottom of the hill after biking down for the first time (wheeeeefun!), while getting stuck thinking and analysing things. waiting for julie and kenten after "harassing the doctor's office for my medical records" took nothing more than a quick sad face to the secretary for her to copy them for me for free, while checking out new sandals that are perfect in almost every way but cost too much.* waiting for it to be a reasonable time to head to the busstop when J&K got caught up in other things, while running into my mother at safeway and going grocery shopping together. waiting to reach maple ridge, while rachel ignored in favour of pseudo-intellectual conversation with me on the phone. waiting at my tutees' house because i get there a halfhour early when i bike but they have naps so i can't start any earlier, while i tried to give away free tickets to a show tonight (no one took them). waiting to get back to coquitlam, while the bus driver and i discussed compliments and the lack of them thereof in conversation today.

waiting waiting waiting.

and for that reason, i feel like i've accomplished nothing. which isn't entirely the case. but that's alright. much of the waiting was done out in the sunshine. which is always lovely.

* broke my pair this morning in a spectacularly lame bike mishap - at least i wasn't run over. but i think i lost the respect of children less than half my age. oh, snap.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

just found this. first person to tell me who submitted my blog gets a postcard.

perhaps i should pay attention to them just to learn how to come up with grabbing headlines, though. perhaps.
NO MORE HOCKEY TALK! YAY!!! at least, not for awhile.

and then we watched Man on the Moon.

when i was twelve years old i thought that robert bateman was the bestest artist ever. well, maybe that's a little strong. but he was the artist whose name i knew. he was canadian, and he was cool. when we went to the mall i always ducked into the gallery shop to steal their brochures of new art that they were carrying, in hopes that they would have decently-sized images of his work, or somethign similar to it. i loved the images he had where the animals faded into the background, or where you had to search a little to see the complete image. in art class we had to create a room and design it in the theme of an artist, and i chose him. it was full of earthy browns and safari-esque styles. i don't recall which image it was exactly that i was basing it off of, but it was probably one with a tiger in it.

i still think he's talented. but i'm very glad my tastes have changed. not so into the realism anymore. and that is good.

but hey, i never knew that he had made a painting of yeti before now. looks rather like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons, though. Hmm...

Monday, June 07, 2004

i danced today.

on the bus, at the busstop, on the stairs, under a shelter, and on the beach.

i won't say that i danced well. but i danced.

and i got to spend time at wreck beach. finally.

and it was really, really fun.

and then i got to see Bubba Hotep and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and was amused by one and incredibly impressed by the other.

Day Without Plans quickly became Excellent Day All-Round.

and now i get to have a shower so that i can finally stop feeling sticky.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Se, der kommer det en ku i tunnellen. :: Look, there comes a cow in the tunnel.

at this rate, i'm going to be fluent soon.

(not really.)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

thanks sarah for making us famous. was fun.

oh stephen, never one to mince words.... {g}

i hosted elections!talk on the radio today. my first time doing a full spoken word show. my guests' first time on the radio. it was fun. i'm so good at not adding my two cents. but hey, i was host, i wasn't gonna lean things one way or another - that was their job!

and then ed and i went to an electroacoustic opera. we're so cultured.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

got to listen to mr plett's show today. called him just to tell him i was listening on my way home and he knew who i was without me having to say anything. i didn't know my voice was that distinctive. hopefully i'll run into him next week, along with my amazingly brilliant perfect cousin who i've meant to call since i had surgery, but never did. but then again, he never called me either, so it's all good. but perhaps some day we'll hang out. and i'll discover that he's not so brilliant and amazing.

or maybe i'll just find out that i've been right all along. damn.

gave rachel a surprise visit, because i was a couple blocks from her house tonight. she may end up going to south africa in the fall. if she doesn't, i've decided that i'll move in with her when her flatmate leaves. even if the cool cat with the stub for a tail will be gone then. gotta have something to work towards, right?

was down there because shawn subsidised my ticket price to see the dance grads' show tonight. which was very nice of him. and i will pay him back someday. in beans. when i'm rich and famous and own not one but TWO countries of my very own. but i'm glad he did, because i've realised i need to see more dance because i really haven't seen much, and almost all i've seen is ballet. so it was pretty neat to see. and at least half of the numbers left me feeling very impressed. probably more than half. afterwards, got to speak to someone who's doing his thesis on the #20 bus route. just makes me want to do my own thesis, provided it's something strange and eclectic like that, really.

no clue whatever happened to Dude Who Was Doing His Masters In Stuff From Modernist Drama Class. if i recall his thesis had something to do with urban planning and architecture in chicago and the development of one peculiar strain of jazz in the 1930s. even if that's not quite right, however, i'm going to remember it that way, because it sounds pretty damn cool.

started wondering, though, what the point is in a dance, what to be looking for. and i know that's a stupid question right there, but, say, in literature, i have an understanding of how to interpret it and how to think about it. same with music or sound work. but when it comes to dance, i really don't know how to think about it. and now i'm curious about it. just means i need to see more dance. and probably start doing some. because i think that i officially can now! if i can jog, i pretend to be capable of dance.

and before that, i swam for the first time since....last summer! and the first time since surgery.* and it was good fun. gotta work up to being not-scared of the high diving board still, it's been awhile since i've jumped from that height. maybe next time, though. it's about the right time of year to be scaling the fence at spani pool after midnight, though...

and... well, those were the really fun points of the day. i've decided to accomplish something amazing tomorrow. it's still a little undefined what that will be, but we'll see what happens. "amazing" will most certainly be judged by personal standards, so don't get too excited, elsewise i'm liable to disappoint.

* really, after a certain point, i'll stop counting things as being "since surgery." but at the moment, it's still novel. for the first time in years, i can do things without worrying about my knee popping out or it feeling terribly weak. like, for example, the froggy kick that you do with breast stroke: i couldn't do that properly for years because it was too much stress at a bad angle. but today, i could actually do it! wheee... though i've unlearnt how to tread water well. doh.