Monday, May 10, 2004

not a fan of the new blogger layout...

went underwear shopping with catherine yesterday because we both hate doing it with a passion and both put it off. zellers' selection of Underoos disappointed me. the only theme that i'd want was available in boys' sizes 3 and 4 only. the older-boy sizes were all The Incredible Hulk or the Batman ones with the stupid images on them. so no Underoos for me. so sad.

insider's tip for the betters:
rebecca's still in a worse position than i am. which really does suck for her.

got test results back today. if anyone's followed rebecca's situation on her page, then you'll sorta know what's going on. if you haven't, brief summary: she found out (kinda by chance) that she has chronic hep-b, and probably has for a long while. because she didn't know where she got it (but it was possible that she's had it since birth from my mom) i had a test too, but didn't expect anything out of it - i'd had the vaccination five or so years ago. turns out, i have no immunity to the virus whatsoever, despite having taken all the shots (which is apparently very strange and rare), which lead the doctor to send me off for more tests. and now, as of today, i know that i'm a carrier of the virus, though it's not active in me right now, as opposed to rebecca. doctor wants my brothers to go for tests, even though my mom's came back saying that she wasn't a carrier (although doctor also mentioned that it's possible that you can be a carrier, and then it'll just go away after awhile, so maybe that's what happened with my mom), because it'd be pretty coincidental that both rebecca and i have the virus in us from different situations.

and the fact that i have NO immunity but am a carrier is apparently very very strange. doctor sat there staring at the tests today trying to make sense of it. not much else to do about it, though. i mean, if i've got it in me, it's there, doesn't matter where it came from right now.

but even though rebecca's winning in the liver category, i do get to be sent for an ultrasound to check out my kidneys, for a completely different reason. so that'll be a bit of excitement.

so i'm not dying yet - at least, not of some terrible disease. i have a higher possibility of it now, but, at the same time, my body's no different today than i was yesterday or, potentially, four years ago.

though i have been told not to take tylenol anymore. not that i took much of it. but the post-operation painkillers were pretty strongly tylenol-based. and i've been told to stay away from eating a lot of red meat as well, though that might be more for the kidneys, i'm not sure. no big deal there, because i've noticed that over the past while i've stopped eating as much meat anyways - still love it, just not in the mood to eat (much of) it. and i bet people would find it nice of me not to infect them unknowingly. doctor said that sharing cups isn't much of a problem - hep-b's usually thought of as an STD for a reason (though it isn't, necessarily! case in point right here!) - but even so. i don't suggest people share glasses with me anymore.

maybe this can be my new secret power. can kill people at will! granted, it's a slow death, but i'm sure it'll be effective! ...unless they had the vaccination in grade six. curses. foiled again. gotta come up with a better super power.

but anyways, that's what's going on, for anyone who was interested. kinda neat finding out how i react to news like that. kinda neat seeing what other people do/say. most people don't seem to know what to say - no reason they should, there's nothing anyone can say that'll change the situation - which just leads to funny silences and eventual topic-changes ((usually by me). because what's the point of moping about something that you can't change? but it's a funny feeling wanting desperately to be with people, only to realise that you're in no mood for company (or at least not their's) as soon as you're with someone. no fault of their own, they're just not The Right Person to be there for you right then.

woulda been in the mood to bake cookies with someone tonight. instead, i just bought some at safeway instead. safeway select brand cookies leave a great deal to be desired.

so! how was your day/weekend/week/month?

* note to ed: thank you for the concern. really. sorry if you were worried by my ambiguity, i didn't really know what was up until this afternoon either. and as of next week the cjsf listings'll have "compiled by the ubiquitous ed" attached to them, sorry it wasn't included this week! {g}

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