Tuesday, April 20, 2004

today the surgeon reminded me that the funny bumps that you can feel underneath the large incision are actually the staples that he put in to hold the new "ligament" in place. i'd forgotten about that. i'd assumed that it was scar tissue.

as he was talking about them he looked up at my face and interrupted himself, "oh. you'd forgotten about that, hadn't you. now you're going to think about that all the time, huh. sorry..."

lucky thing that i like him and only hate his receptionist. he's told me that if they're a real bother they can be taken out without a lot of trouble. but there's no way in hell that i'm willingly going to go through any sort of knee surgery in the near future.

i also found out that when people have ACL reconstruction, when the surgeon goes inside the knee they'll either see a bit of the ligament hanging around, or nothing at all because it's completely snapped back and disappeared. in my case, it was the latter. "no, your ligament was completely gone and useless, you needed surgery, there was no question about it."

i won't be anal enough to go back and link to entries years ago where i complained that i'd probably torn the ligament and was only able to stand because of the muscles holding my knee together. i could. but i won't. frickin' medical world....

but my knee works now and it doesn't wobble in the slightest and it's terribly exciting and my foot can be forced to touch my butt (which is very rare after ACL reconstructions, apparently, and i'm still in healing mode so that shouldn't be difficult in the least when it's all better) and i can bike now and i can hike as long as i don't over-do it and all that i can't shouldn't do is run. not for another month. or do the twist.

i'm almost a normal human being again! except for the biodegradable screw and metal staples in my knee. and the tiny dent in my forehead. and the inability to snap. and the magic powers.

the biggest highlight of this past weekend was traipsing through the British Properties ("the rich area," for people who don't live in vancouver) with neal, questioning and downright criticising the architectural design of each and every house, mocking the sensibilities of the rich, admitting that the air did smell fresher there and lamenting the fact that we couldn't afford to breath such nice air, and making many ironic and sarcastic comments. everyone who drove past us when we abandoned the safety of the (far inferior and cheaper than the local standard) vehicle for a brief while eyed us with suspicion and probably had their finger ready to dial their local rent-a-cop if we made any sudden moves.

because a skinny blonde girl with glasses who can't run and a tall skinny nerd with glasses pose a real threat.

after i left neal i sat at kits beach for a little while and noticed the ironies and facades of everyone there.

the second biggest highlight was good venting session that made a few things much clearer and got rid of any number of tensions building up.

third (and final) highlight was a spontaneous trip alone to the beach (belcarra, this time), mini-hike, playing with squirrels, taking pictures, talking to geese, finding strange shrubbery, heading to a good vancouver lookout point to take a couple more pictures as it got completely dark, and generally forcing meself to cheer up a little.

it was a very critical, observational, and solo weekend indeed.
fun fun fun.

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