Friday, January 16, 2004

bizarre day.

managed to squeeze into the last class i needed to be registered in. unfortunately it's because i ended up crying when the prof first told me she couldn't let me in. i still feel stupid for doing it, didn't mean to. except that i'd found out that my favourite professor at SFU passed away a year ago only 15 minutes before meeting the prof, and lynne's death actually hit me a lot harder than i would have expected. although really, she's one of the most amazing and inspirational people i've ever met. and she helped get me to prague, and encouraged me to go as well. so i'm terribly sorry that i didn't get to see her one more time just to thank her or say hi or....

but anyways. so i got into a class even though it's overfull and the teacher's doing me a HUGE favour for me at the expense of herself and her time and her desire to keep the class a little smaller. i'm terrible, i know.

met a fellow on the skytrain who was the embodiment of happiness, singing and joking and laughing to himself. "the world's falling apart around me but i'm still happy!" when he noticed me noticing him, he started telling me his life story, how he'd been a junky for 17 years but it was only the last four years that he really realised that he had a problem and he's tried a number of times over and keep lapsing, but this time it's for real, and it may only have been four days now that he'd been sober this time but in his situation, it's a big deal and he was proud of himself for it. this time his brother's sponsoring him and he's checking into a clinic in surrey and he's going to get his life back in order because he's realised that he's lost nearly everything that meant anything to him and he was at the point where he could kill himself, go to jail, or try to make things better. so he's choosing the last one. he told me about his son who's just graduated high school with A's all around, how he loves his son more than anything in this world. just before he got off the skytrain i asked him where he was headed right then.

"to the moon!"


"i'm gonna go get high. just one last time! because after this that's it, i'm going to be a changed man! i know it's stupid. i know it's not a good idea. but i just can't help it. so i'm gonna go buy the dope, shoot it up on the skytrain on the way to the clinic, and then check myself in and a year from now you won't even recognise me, i'll be doing so much better! i'll recognise you, i'll remember you, because you listened to me today and i'll never forget that. but you won't know who i am until i tell you but i'll tell you, i'll let you know how i'm doing!"

i tried to change his mind but it didn't work. i hope he made it to the clinic alright.

after school was finished, waiting for jodi to show up at the downtown library, was sitting at a table just outside. a brownhaired fellow came up trying to convince me to pay him to read my palm. told him i had no money, he kept trying. told him i'd just returned from europe and had student loans out for $XX and he was more than welcome to help me pay those back first. he sat down and said that he'd just come back from new york and was having his own form of culture shock, as he was sure i must have been going through. so we chatted briefly, he told me what new york is like. then, said he had to leave, but he'd read my palm for free if i wanted. why not?

"hmm... good in relationships... good in business... [other palm] good in relationships... [ drops my hand] so you wanna come back to my place and fuck?"

alas, i was meeting a friend, it just wouldn't work! too bad.... if he hadn't been such a cocky bastard i might truly have been a little sorry. still, he wins points for the attempt. it's by far one of the most amusing ones i've ever gotten.

i'm not sure if today's a full moon or not. starting to think it might have been.

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