Wednesday, May 21, 2003

{singsong}i've got a secret... and i'm not telling what it is...{/singsong}

it's a good one though. i'll share it soon enough, anyways.

and i got mail! hurrah! replies will come as soon as i can send them. but thanks for the lovin'!

last day in prague. collecting some last-minute research for the paper i'll be writing on the trainride to meet my mom in leipzig. want to go take pictures in all the metro stations. wanted to see divoka sarka, but don't think i'll get to. s'alright, that won't be the same without tegan and alister. want to say goodbye and play with the kids. i'll have to upload their photos sometime - kuba's going to be a photographer when he grows up, i think. want to go to zelena, see jazz. seeing the matrix reloaded at midnight (yes, heard it's relatively terrible, but all the more reason to see it for cheap and with friends who love bashing movies, no?). gotta pack and get a train ticket, but all in all, i'm accomplishing all i want to well enough..

just don't want to leave for good. and i suppose i'll prolly be back eventually. who knows, maybe i'll follow all the other people writing their thesis on something relating to prague just for the excuse to come back here.

but that's to be figured out another time. still have a lot of time before going home, between germany, scandinavia, india, and any other detours. so hopefully i'll be able to keep this updated regularly enough as well.

i will miss coming and chatting all night long with jonny. it's terrible because he's supposed to be studying and i'm supposed to be...well, don't know what exactly, but certainly not distracting, but we just have too much fun discussing pointless things. that end up coming up in other conversations a day later. this constant synchronicity in events is really getting strange. fun, making things predictable sometimes, but strange.

for now, must run to the train station.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

since thursday morning, every time i've checked my mail i've had at least 30+ messages. and absolutely all of them have been spam. alright, there were a couple that were from the scarlet tide brigade mailing list, but those still aren't emails for me! and at this point, we're nearing practically a week. a week with no personal emails at all!

it makes me want to cry.

well, not really. but if this continues, it might! c'mon, send me some lovin'. sarah needs to procrastinate! i might even reply! (extra kudos if i don't know you yet, because new friends are always a good thing.)

saw Confessions of a Dangerous Mind yesterday. i should have remembered that charlie kaufmann did the screenplay. even though i'd forgotten, i should have realised it when throughout the whole movie i kept thinking "i really have to see this again, not because i'm in love with this film, but because it's another movie that demands a couple viewings before verdicts are made." which is how i always feel in kaufmann movies. his screenplays always have a certain feeling to them, makes you feel like maybe there's something more that you're not quite getting. doesn't mean that there necessarily is, all the time, but. i think i liked it though. despite the george clooney factor. music was good. though can anyone tell me: his little jazzy theme, just played on the piano, it's played a few times throughout the film, often when he's by himself, iirc, i know i have that song on a cd somewhere, and it's just a little track, possibly even nameless. and i can't for the life of me remember which cd it is, or which band it is. so does anyone know? did anyone else find it familiar?

there was more to write. i forget it all now, though.

Monday, May 19, 2003

and now, to offset the last entry and feel happier again, random quotes from the weekend (warning: it wasn't much of a high-brow weekend):

maggie: "wow... you can see the pee-stream from here!"

diane (czech kid, while reaching up to grope our breasts): "[reaching maggie's] Velky, [reaching mine] maly!" - diane, one of the czech kids.
translation: velky = big, maly = small. she later tried to unbutton my skirt. we figure she's a good lesbian in training. {g}

matt: "hey bro! i have an idea! let's dress up exactly the same and go clubbing tonight!!"

matt (again): "that was incredibly rude! i can't believe how rude you just were! yes, i'm talking to you, you're a very rude person. i think you're the rudest person i've come across in all my time here. in response to your rudeness, i feel obliged to burp loudly at you for the rest of the tram ride." and he did.

jonny, suddenly dead serious: "he inspired me, [that] zack morris..."

if only i could remember more of matt's lines. or any of greg's. especially when he was telling me the story about the hooker that he'd loved. and felt that she truly loved him to. although it might have been because she was hooped up on ecstacy at the time. but he really thought that it was love.
i'm feeling incredibly frustrated at the moment.

my mother says not to leave prague until i'm ready to, and then calls and says forlornly that i really should be there with her, that it's lovely and i'd enjoy it so much, that i really should come as soon as possible. when i've already scheduled out my time here and i really do think leaving wednesday night's the best. even though i feel bad that she's out here as well...it's just all a matter of timing. and timing sucks.

i want to talk to the one person who's not replying to me right now. and it's damn difficult not to try again, if my messages are already being ignored, if that is indeed the case. don't want to bug them if they don't want to talk to me, and maybe it's best not to talk right now anyways. but at the same time, i want to talk to them!! i just wish i could figure out if it was better to let things lie for now and hope things can be dealt with later (because it's not like anything's changing for me before then..), or whether to keep trying right now. and i wish people could see what i meant a little easier. because i'm tired of not being understood when i'm trying to explain things as best i can.

and worst of all, my hands feel insanely dry and i have no lotion for them right now. TRAGIC.
i've got a czech boyfriend. he's rather sweet. was hanging around in the park on saturday and this group of rather loud children kept playing and jumping over our stuff, and eventually we just started playing with them for the rest of the evening. speaking stilted czech, no less, because they don't know any english. one of them's going to grow up to be a photographer, he commandeered my camera and played with it all afternoon. used up a roll and a half of film for me. and when they had to leave they insisted, "zitra! zitra! trinact!" so we agreed to come play again on sunday. and did. and they were thrilled when we came by, played frisbee with a real frisbee this time (as opposed to the plastic plate we'd taken the day before), they used up more rolls of film (already got their mailing address to send them copies of their photos whenever i develop them).

anyways, one of the oldest ones, claims he's twelve, has a little-boy crush on me. rather cute. i even got a kiss goodbye yesterday. {g}

it's too bad we didn't meet these kids before now. matt says they're rekindled his love for this country. (this is a big deal, if you know matt's general opinions on the subject. it all relates to czech girls. freakass.) would have been fun to've played with them all year long. would definitely have learned more czech as well. and they're cool kids, through and through. even if one's a klepto for anything with sugar. and they're violent as hell. but aren't kids supposed to be that way?

also this weekend: moved to jonny's for the last few days. 80s night at futurum. general hanging around. it was a fun weekend.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

leave-date from praha extended. again. but this time it's definite: gonna leave on tuesday. or wednesday. or possibly thursday morning. if i decide to stick around to see the opening of Matrix Reloaded. though from the spoilers i've read it may not be worth it. but at the same time, if i stick around here then i pay far less to see it, and i get to see it with people who'll ballast it to bits with me. people who i'll be pretty unlikely to see again. so maybe, at that, it will worth it.

and they've got a midnight showing of the first movie in the theatres and then the second one, and movie marathons with big comfy seats and supercheap popcorn and awesome sound are always a good thing.

but we'll see.

got back one of the papers today, as well, with extremely complimentary comments on it. for the amount of research that i didn't do on it, i do not deserve it. however, even just writing that paper, or talking to her about some of it, it's made me really curious about the czech literature. and it makes me sad that i can't read more stories by certain authors because i just can't read czech. and it makes me want to research a lot more into czech modernist writing and lesbianism in the czech republic at the turn of the century. because it's interesting. and because what little is written, it's hardly been translated at all.

so maybe i have a thesis i could fall back to. one that involves coming back to central europe for awhile. because obviously, there's a shortage of research in that area....

hmm.

other than that, there's not a lot going on. tearooms that i'm sorry i didn't know about before now, wandering around town with a videocamera, lip-synching to Strangers in the Night, and just general lack-of-sleep-hyperness yesterday. beautiful sunshiney day today. meeting czech friends today. found out that if i want to, i can go to india financially-speaking, it's whether i want to risk missing out on something at home if i don't return for the extra three weeks that's the real consideration at this point. but...it's india. and it's ilam's wedding. and surgery's not until the end of summer. and it'll be dirt cheap when i get there. but...is it worth losing something for. and adding another couple thousand dollars to my debt. and should i just be going home and getting a job and rebuilding a life in vancouver for meself again.

...don't know...

at any rate. going to meet my mom in bavaria next week, perhaps shouldn't have mentioned that a potential meeting place was my dad's suggestion, seeing as she immediately said that well, there's plenty of interesting places in germany, you can't see all of them....

never getting married if it entails getting divorced. it's just silly.

being kicked out of the lab. doh.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

yaaaay thunderstorm!
so. because i only found out at the last minute that i had to HAD TO take an extra course, which resulted in it being two supposed "half-courses" that actually involve a lot more work and thought and everything than most of the other courses in the programme out here, and because i've had more time to work with one topic, and found out that i actually like it a lot and actually want to learn more about it except for the fact that A) i don't have time right now and B) i don't read czech, and considering that what little research there's actually been into the topic that exists period, the chances of finding anything in english are slim to nil (with emphasis on the latter)... because of these factors, i'm going to be handing in one decent-to-good essay, and one that's not going to make my puff my chest out with pride, but will at least give me the credit i need in order to avoid having my loan retracted and SFU getting upset. which is a real shame, because i do so like the prof for that class as well. i just wish i'd known that i needed the course a lot earlier, with more time to actually work on things, or perhaps if it just weren't on milan kundera, i could have found it so much more exciting to do work for it... (i have my reasons for not caring much for kundera at this point, just trust me on that one)

but this is boring. in short: of the three papers left to hand in, one's technically finished, it just needs tweaking, it's far from grand but it'll do the job at this point, one will be a good one that i'm actually trying for, and the last will be finished and enter the "good enough" category. i feel so terrible settling for "good enough", but at the same time, it's prague. i'm leaving it soon. credits transfer to pass/fail. if the topic's not meaning a hell of a lot to me, i'm just going to work to finish it and be done with it.

so i'll have one time in my academic career when my standards went downhill miserably. i'll make up for it come the fall. won't have much else to do while i sit and recover from surgery, so i'll become Best Student Ever!! what fun..
regarding this entry, zhan says:

"i think you mistyped a word.
it should read "girls are:"...


hm. maybe you're right.

EDIT: EVERYONE is...
[insert same options as below]

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

i have so much work to do, yet i've just spent all morning talking to people, trying to re-figure out travel plans that have had to've been altered, trying to figure out if i really can go to india, as the other friend who would go down for the wedding says that she's most definitely going, looking up information on visas (good god it looks so much easier than it was getting a czech visa...), catching up with friends i haven't spoken to in awhile, and more general bullshit.

i wrote one paragraph of my essay. that's an accomplishment, right? and i know where the closest indian consulates are now.. and how much it would cost to get a visa.. and that they tend to be given out the same day you apply for it (what novelty!).. and i know jasmin's mailing address by heart apparently.. and even managed to do some quick cleaning up before leaving today..

but no. haven't done much at all today. absolutely pathetic.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

the good wife's guide.

just makes you wanna puke, doesn't it?

the things is, just a little while back, i heard something that was basically all of that spoken aloud, but with the added comments that it's up to you, the housewife, to keep your husband's eye from roaming and to keep him from having affairs, because if he has to come back to problems at home, and his wife not done up all pretty-life, and noisy children... how can you blame him?

anyone know what i'm talking about? because i know i heard it. i just have no recollection of where..
had big plans of writing an entire paper overnight while waiting for laundry to wash. and then there was a completely blackout that went on for far too long that completely messed that idea up. so much for borrowing books i shouldn't have had permission to use for the night.

why is there always some dumbass who thinks it would be cool to throw fireworks down empty hallways when the power's out, though?
because everything else has already been done, now you can send your name to a comet, c/o the Deep Impact Project. and i'm not sure whether it's sorta nifty or just an absolutely stupid idea. just stupid as in....pointless, really. aren't there better things we should be doing with our time?

(like writing papers?)

Monday, May 12, 2003

guess what! i'm getting married!

or so says the new ring i have. i lost my favourite ring during my move, which is terribly sad. however, i found a little loop of metal that just fits my fourth finger. and only my fourth finger. my left more than my right. it's actually a perfect fit, it really is. and it looks a little like my old ring, minus the red stone.

so for the sake of anyone i happen to meet on the street now, i'm either engaged or married. to someone extremely cheap who can't even afford anything more than something that could have been a keyring loop. but we all know that money doesn't equal true love, now, don't we. {g}
i really should not send emails first thing in the morning when i've just woken up, when i haven't spoken to anyone yet, when i've just thought things over and over and over in my head and am likely to say things i don't mean to or word them in a way that misinterprets what i'm really thinking. it's the perfect time to really make a mess out of things. sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut for a little longer.

i never learn, though.

right. papers. whee.
damn. wish i lived somewhere reasonably close enough to go. or maybe we'll just have to do that for ourselves when i get home. gotta keep meself amused while i recover from knee surgery, right?

everyone'd be invited, of course. {g}
if i keep saying that maybe this is right and maybe this is how it should go and admitting that i'm not actually feeling terribly upset which should be a sign in and of itself you would think... why am i being such a bitch in not just dropping it all? why do i feel obliged to say one more thing that's prolly just going to be taken as completely ambiguous and mind-fucking? because i don't mean it that way. yet i'm not entirely sure how i do mean it. if it's because i just don't want to let things drop, or rather, i don't know why i won't just let things drop. but i have to. because otherwise no one's gonna move anywhere. and that's not fair.

i'm becoming as pedantic as my mother in things. it's terrible. speaking of whom, i realised yesterday where i get my pickiness and indeciciveness when it comes to eating, when my mom told me how she just continuously put off eating because she didn't know where to go in her wanders about town (when there's restaurants EVERYWHERE and most are very reasonably priced when coming from a north american perspective), and even at dinner asked me what she should order rather than just pick something herself.

i'm trying to be good. i'm trying not to let her drive me insane. i'm not entirely failing at this point...

2.5 weeks. good god.

but back to the original topic. i'm sorry i keep seeming mixed. i don't know why i'm doing that, because things make sense until i talk to you again. and then i'm just busy trying to get the last word in, or something, or i have no idea what. so maybe i should just stop talking for a bit. best way to move on, right?

s'a very björk sort of week...
answer the following question..

boys are:
a) insane
b) frustrating
c) sex-crazed
d) complete dorks
e) good errand-runners
f) challenging competition
g) [insert your own description here]
h) all of the above

(did you like how the options are all in order of length, save the last? didja? looks like a christmas tree!)
for cryin' out loud, isn't there anywhere i can watch the world cup game online? can somebody tell me where?

just found out the gold medal game for the world cup's on. just found out it's sweden vs canada. just suddenly started to care. only because it would be so much fun to know who wins quickly enough to rub it in a certain swede's face canada did win. having said that, you know canada's going to lose now... oh well. s'more fun to think about than papers! but why can't i find anything online showing it?

and why are most of the pages i do find about world cup hockey canadian ones? are we really that sadly devoted to the sport?
i really don't want to write papers... obviously...

Sunday, May 11, 2003

jean grey
You are Jean Grey!

Beautiful and smart, you are still just beginning
to fulfill your potential. You have a strong
sense of right and wrong, but are open to
discussion and changes of opinion.
Unfortunately, when it comes to love you are
often torn between two options, and can never
seem to make up your mind.

Which X-Men character are you most like?

dammit. never did like her so much. at the same time, the description ties in well enough. figures. oh well.
why why why of all people do i have eminem stuck in my head? please make him leave....

finished moving out...and now i'm back in my old room again. didn't want to disturb aqeel's studying, wanted one last sleep in a bed, wanted to be able to be online should someone appear this morning, wanted to get work done on my papers...but i'm still worried that a maid'll walk in and i'll be caught. fingers crossed, though.

hopefully Certain Someone comes online too so that at least if i am busted, it'll have been worth it. come online, motherfucker!

wouldn't it be fun to have proper closets that i could hide in if i had to, to save my ass? it would be lame, yes, but the throwback to being five years old would be oh so entertaining...
today's just one of those forget-to-eat sort of days. woke up, started trying to pack more, had a needed-talk online, packed more, met my mom at the airport, found her a place to stay, came back and packed more, moved to aqueel's room, cleaned up the mess i made of his place in moving in there, got distracted looking up music festivals together, started doing research for a paper or two, wrote emails, visited the dvorak room, played snood, had a nice long (pointless) chat over the phone with other people in the kolej, came back down, and now we're here.

boiling water for pasta now. but really, i just want to sleep. didn't even do much today and i'm tired. so silly.

so much cleaning and packing though. i feel thoroughly dirty and grimy. and uninspired enough to have a shower. i truly am disgusting.

MOST EXCITING ENTRY EVER, don't you think?

Saturday, May 10, 2003

curious google search...
looks like one...but isn't?
"office, submarine!"
another person i went to school with is getting married. so strange. kinda weird. especially because it's ilam, because she just doesn't seem like a marriage type yet. i don't know details, but i'd guess it's an arranged marriage, and i know she'll be going down to india for the wedding itself. i just wonder who she's being paired up with. hope it's a good match..

i don't know what i think about arranged marriages. idealistically, of course i balk at the idea. but at the same time, although i don't know her parents that well and what i do know i know more through another friend of mine who's closer to ilam, but ilam's parents seem to be one of the happiest married couples that i've come across. and they've been together for years, and it was an arranged marriage in the first place. i suppose if you have to live together, you end up putting more work into getting along and making things smooth, maybe. so i can't totally dismiss arranged marriages. not all the time.

hope this works out for ilam, though. so strange.. i'm happy for her, though, if that's what she wants. {g}

(also: i wish it didn't cost so much to go to india. elsewise i'd be down there for the ceremony as ivana's date. but...it's still a fortune to fly there from frankfurt, rather than going back to canada when my ticket is for, and it seems to be cheaper to go from europe than from canada. still, if i find something cheaper, maybe...)
everyone's got to move out by tomorrow, so today's packing day, and it's downright depressing. it's strange how much taller the walls seem when there's nothing more decorating them. room seems a lot wider, too. i've got one suitcase overstuffed, more things in piles waiting to be reshuffled to balance between the big backpack and the suitcase, and another Box Of Stuff waiting to be put into the spare one my mom's bringing tomorrow. good lord, i've accumulated a ton.

still haven't finished any papers. watched another storm tonight. paddleboated and got a more proper tan (ie: now my stomach's feeling the love of the vitamin sun as well). talked to rebecca over the phone for the first time since...easter? no, must have been before that. saw rachel off at the tram stop. fixed my plane ticket home. oh what fun.

dead tired now. must sleep. tons of work to do tomorrow. hopefully it rains so i actually get around to doing it this time.

Friday, May 09, 2003

had a bee-yoo-tiful storm tonight. pressure's been building up all day, couldn't even get a breeze going through my room like i normally can, and everything's felt just a little more stressed than usual. watched a ginormous thunderhead grow bigger and bigger (the top of it looked absolutely amazing - so turbulent) and the lightning went non-stop inside of it (and caroline spent half the time dancing through the dandelion field). went back out later with aqeel to watch some more after it spread out. and it finally stormed on top of us an hour ago. crazy wind, heaviest rain i've seen here all year, hail, nearly constant thunder... so nice.

and it's amazing what a difference it made, too. suddenly you can breath normally again, the breeze is back, everything's just more relaxed again.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

!!!!!!!!!

um. wow.

never figured that comment would ever get back to him.. don't i feel simultaneously stupid and amused now.. though i think absurdity wins over shame. {g}

congratulations on your wedding though! i hope everything went wonderfully! {g}
1 paper done, 3.5 left to go.

we're out of a place to stay as of saturday. which answers the question of "do i move in with jonny and matt for a week or not", i suppose. unless i ask around here to sleep on a floor somewhere... we'll see though.

saw student films today. they were all so obviously filmed in prague. which really would be a nifty way to remember the city - having your own short film that's chock-full of prague-y goodness.

if i just finish 1.5 papers, i can go see a gypsy band tonight. so why on earth am i still sitting here catching up on blogs, with Word not even open yet? i swear, i only get better at procrastination as time goes by.

s'disgusting.
i'm not the number one listing for a google search of whither anymore. that's a shame. still number one for whither canada though. hurrah.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

[EDIT] don't bother reading the previously-posted entry. it's all a rant because i'm in a terrible mood and upset and frustrated about a number of things, and it's mostly directed at one person because talking directly to them (you) in email is just repetitive and upsetting and only going to make things worse at this point, and i'm now at the point of public venting. but no one likes to read someone else's venting of personal problems, do they. which is why i tend to keep the real problems off here. so just ignore it or skip it or follow the next link in your neverending search for pictures of fuck me boots or of frankie muniz barefoot (why am i still getting hits for that? what was that boy doing? what the hell are you people looking for??) or Vintage Free Gay Porn. i don't have any of that. so move along. nothing to see here.
my computer hates me. explorer and java are being bitches. Godspeed You Black Emperor streams aren't even working, just making the media player moan and complain. (and yes, it's between their streaming times so it's not that.)

and i'm sorry, but is it wrong of me to be generally pissed off and insulted when someone goes from being a good friend to talking to you formally and treating you like they'd treat customers at their workplace? because i don't like it. it's fake. i don't give a fuck if you're trying to protect yourself or anything like that, it's not nice to suddenly pretend you never cared too much about a person in the first place. i'm not expecting people to be falling over each other and being dismal and mopey or bitter and angry every time you talk, but at least don't say goodbye to me as though i mean fuck all to you! it just makes me feel hurt and that you're busy trying to ignore and forget me as soon as possible. when i'm still hoping things will work out and that everything can be cool once again.

or stop feeling comfortable one minute and busy trying to distance yourself the next. s'making it very difficult to know how things stand and how much i should let meself care at this point.

but then again i'm a fuckin idealist so maybe i should just get used to disappointment.

and you're going to read this and get angry all over again, i know it. well whatever. i'm allowed to vent on this thing. i try not to because who wants to read about someone venting personal issues all the time? but today i don't care. i don't know what i want, i don't know what i should want, but this constant seesaw isn't making it any easier to figure these things out. one day i figure everything's done with, the next day i get the feeling that things might start to get better, i start to feel happier about it all, and then the very next minute we're back to square one again and i just get exasperated because i don't have any idea what to expect anymore. well, other than "the completely opposite of last time". it's driving me fuckin nuts. and i don't care if you're going to consider me a hypocrite for saying that, because it's not the case at all. but anyways.

and i'm swearing far too much these days. the influence of matt is strong indeed. but i just need to go and scream and punch things for a few minutes and just get it all out of my system at this point. people, papers, planning, parents personal pride, school (ran out of p's there..), money, futures...

anyone want to volunteer to be a human punchingbag? i've got absolutely no arm strength, i promise you i'd do absolutely no damage to you whatsoever. with my luck i'd break my fists anyways. if my ribs can fracture over nothing, trust me. you'll come out on top.
The Consummate Hipster: newbies bow to him, everyone else just stares, as he swagger down the street with
You are the Consummate Hipster. Newbies bow to
you, everyone else just stares, as you swagger
down the street with "Little Green
Bag" stuck in your head.

hm. hardly. but it amuses me that Sartre's considered a pop culture icon. i suppose he is when you get down to it. just so used to pop culture and academia being considered to be so far apart (despite the fact that really, they're not. and that fact can make paper-writing so very much more fun...if you're in the mood.).
screw you guys, i'm going to bed.
medical update:

NOT DEAD

no SARS either, afaik.

aching neck: spasming muscles, apparently. dunno why, s'just annoying. was offered muscle relaxants, but i'm sure i can find them around the kolej if i really decide i need them.

swollen lymph nodes: prolly due to the cold (which is what i figured it was, but with everything together i was still a little worried). doctor took a blood test just to double check things though. YES!! BLOOD TEST!!! yes, i deserve a medal. went through a blood test without so much as a whimper, i am so very brave... and a liar. i did whimper. but i still did it anyways! without fainting or even getting the slightest bit light-headed! just minorly stressed. but i can handle stress. but i digress.

hurting chest: no idea. it may actually be a small fracture in the rib at this point. doctor poked around, found one spot that killed when he pushed on it, found that pushing on the sides of certain ribs did hurt, so... s'possible i really do have a slightly broken rib. i may not be drinking milk much here, but that's just pathetic. i could have gone for x-rays, but the time and money just aren't worth it because even if it really is a fracture, there's nothing to do about it but rest.

the problem now is that i really can't carry bags. i've noticed it getting worse over the past week, my chest hurting when i'm carrying a backpack, but just tried to ignore it. when i got up to leave i was told off by the doctor for putting on the little one i had with me. so i mentioned the fact that i'm supposed to be heading off travelling in a week or two with a big backpack. he just looked at me and shook his head. so i don't quite know what to do. my mom coming is prolly a good thing, because she'll have a rental car which means i won't have to carry things so much for awhile there, but i have to hopehopehope that my chest'll feel better by the time i reach hamburg, because then it's back to real backpacking again. hmm.

::cough::mattisafucker::cough:: {g}

knee surgery: they were kind enough to not call me with my date for the past few weeks, or to call my parents to let them know what it was. but apparently i have surgery on august 25th. i was originally told that i should be able to get it in july, that it would be better to do that if i have to go to classes come september, considering the difficulty i'll prolly have walking for the first long while. but no. i come home early july (largely because i have to have surgery) only to wait a couple months before i can finally have it. this also doesn't bode well for getting a job come september.

i should just stay in europe at this rate. yes, i'm rather pissed off right now.

today was good though. didn't get much work done. celebrated cinco de mayo with matt buying mexican food at the most american foodplace i've been to in all my time in europe. it was despicable. food wasn't bad though. and then we stocked up on vitamin-sun whilst paddleboating around the river for awhile. tormented ducks. blew bubbles that were freaks of nature, that would leave nasty residue wherever the finally did deflate (they never popped), and amused ourselves watching them stick to peoples' clothes or hair or watch people go to grab them and snicker at how annoyed they'd be when they saw the mess the bubble'd leave in their hands. we're bastards. and rounded out the day with excellent italian.

and, after a year of harrassing the man, kevin (aka: fucker) may finally have my missing negatives. we'll see what brent comes up with when he picks them up tonight.

i can't believe i'm going back home only to wait an extra 2 months for knee surgery, which was exactly what i was told i wouldn't have to do. goddammit...

Monday, May 05, 2003

fuck it, i'm just going to the doctor. s'just easier that way. then i can stop wondering if i should or shouldn't. waste of money and time, perhaps. but it'll be good to ease my mind.

smells like paint. and not the nice-smelling stuff either.
daniel's awesome.

before and after.

i need to learn to use photoshop properly.

had a terrible dream last night. dreamt that matt got a B+ on his paper that i skimmed over last night. the one that includes lines such as "I think my favorite[sic] view in Prague is from halfway up Petrin hill near Ujezd, where it looks as though the American flag is waving above the castle." although it's not so much that matt's paper is capable of garnering a B+. it's that my paper that i've actually done some research for came back with a B-. with very disparaging comments written all over it.

neck still hurts, breast/chest still hurts (when not coughing). really wondering if i should go to the doctor at this point. i just really don't want to take the time to do this right now, though. or spend the money, regardless if i'll get it back. or be bothered to go talk to someone about why the flash in my camera has died.

aiyaa...

but it's a sunny day, highs expected of 28 Celsius, so i shouldn't be complaining!
i just remembered that someone sent me japanese rice cakes awhile back. i just remembered that i hadn't eaten them yet. oooh...

Sunday, May 04, 2003

one last bit of procrastination. the photo with the sword swallower's been posted in the fotolog, but it was the kids watching him that made it so interesting. especially the one in the middle here:


i sat around that area for a couple hours, and the swallower did his schtick incessantly. swords down the throat, nails into the nose, all out again, hurrah. i felt pains for his insides.
i'm lazy. but i'm procrastinating too. so rather than actually upload photos somewhere where i can actually make the layout pretty, there's a bunch of photos up in ye olde yahoo photo album (look in the prague folder). random photos from throughout the year. i'll prolly add more another time.

also, sarah has a fotolog. just a few random shots up there as well.

oh. and. my desktop. because it amuses me so.

SUCH EXCITEMENT!!!

quick rundowns:
my mother arrives here on saturday. less than a week. and then i leave praha for good. and i'm really, really sad about that. still not heading back to north america quite yet, but i don't want to leave everyone here. but everything comes to an end.

either matt's killing of my sternum has spread due to hunching over more and cramping meself, or i have SARS. (no, i don't seriously think i have SARS, so no need to start mocking me...) pain's now actually spread to my breast a little, which is absolutely silly and retarded and nonsensical, but unfortunately i'm not about to go up to a person and ask them to massage my breasts to get rid of the cramp (if that is indeed what it is).

saw X2. again. and alan cumming still rocks. and then skipped into 25th Hour. ed norton was excellent, but that's only to be expected isn't it? spike lee however... the long long monologues...got annoying. the obvious in-your-face racial role-reversals are annoying. the completely open ending is incredibly annoying. (especially when accompanied by the on-going monologue..) the overdone dramatics surrounding the remains of the WTC are both annoying and hilarious (jonny and i were laughing incontrollably at one part.. fortunately there was no one nearby who felt the need to throw things at us). the opening with the over-dramatic music and the memorial WTC lights was annoying. somehow the entire movie overall wasn't annoying, though. not entirely. hardly a favourite by far, but maybe it's the ed norton aspect. parts were interesting, seeing all the people who we'd seen an hour ago in X2 was amusing, and commenting on things all the way through was rather fun. i think i like seeing movies with jonny.

but still must see frida before leaving. must figure out some real travel itinerary after germany. must figure out how to pack for backpacking on the way to the music fest and keep the checked-in part under 15kg (is that even going to be possible??) so that i can take it on the flight back to frankfurt. must reschedule the flight back to canada (again) to make time for the music fest. must write four papers and finally finish everything.

but first must eat breakfast. or something.
argh. as soon as i book a plane ticket for good, i suddenly have different ideas and second thoughts and feel like maybe i should have tried a different itinerary, flown into another city to explore a little more before getting back to frankfurt to leave the continent...

...but it's too late now. and as it is now, i'll save much more money this way, and i do have to come back to canada eventually, can only put it off for so long, right?

i hate definite plans. means certain things are going to happen, but it also means certain things are going to end. and that's just depressing.
catching up on blogs, and hey! sondre lerche! been listening to him a bunch since the visiting norwegian introduced me to the music a few weeks back, said that mr lerche was getting rather popular in norway but didn't seem to be too known outside of it, and now, suddenly finding references to him here and there.

nifty. {g}

Saturday, May 03, 2003

i have just definately agreed to spend a large amount of money on a music fest this summer. i'm prolly quite insane. but my last chance to back out was last night and i didn't do it. so hultsfred festival, here i come...

but it's got radiohead. radiohead!!! so i'm thrilled.
and the boban markovic orkestar!!!*
and the cato salsa experience!!!
and ladytron!!!
and massive attack and cat power and badly drawn boy and and and...
and a bunch of others that i'm excited to see!!!
and a bunch of other scandinavian bands i don't really know!!!
and it's in sweden!!!

so. how could i refuse? i mean, really?

* seen Underground? Black Cat White Cat? that's them. of all people to get to see...
there's nearly nothing that can beat a night out spent drinking lightly (ie: perhaps reaching the buzzed stage, if that, but nothing more) and constant chatting with someone else. preferably the same person, because it means that you're actually getting to know someone, as opposed to just making random acquaintances that in the end don't mean so much.

it's especially nice if after the bar closes (at 5am) you take the long walk home and play pooh sticks on the vltava river (although the sticks magically never appear on the other side of the bridge, prolly due to an ill-planned position of tossing) and walk up through the park til you reach home (even if it's not the other person's home, but they manage to find a spare bed anyways) and even though you're not tired, you can't have any complaints as to how the night has gone.

and you even got to walk through a little rain shower amidst the warmth of the morning on the way up through the park.

nearly nothing.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

saw X-Men 2 tonight. sneak preview. nearly the entire audience was made up of med students (ie: largely indian-descent brits) and a few of us foreign students. such a bizarre thing to see in a czech theatre. good fun, though. i think i liked this one more than the first one, even.

highlights:
- seeing vancouver foliage in scenes.. strange that it's recognizable even if it's just grass and trees....but it is.
- seeing random familiar vancouver actors like the frog-faced guy from vancouver theatresports!!! and only julie knows who i'm talking about, but now if you see the movie, the one white house reporter who's frozen with a pen to his mouth, that's one of our favourite theatresports guys, or at least was when we last went a couple years ago. he was the one who started spouting random physics formulas while he was in the role of the mad scientist...and according to the person we were with who did know physics, they were all right. not only funny, but smart too!
- nightcrawler. yay! {g} and again, alan cumming always gets the nifty coat in his role.
- wolverine's still full of angst. but he's still awesome. and hugh jackman still has such an amusing name. just say it out loud.

and then it was nice and warm and windy all evening long, and things were once again made cool with certain people, and matt is off to continue celebrating his quarter-of-a-century birthday in style, and my chest may collapse soon (mattisafucker), and i'm going to get a good night's sleep for the first time in a long while, and all is well.

well, most of it, at least. papers crackdown starts tomorrow, because my body's shutting down at the moment.

"huge ackman"

hee. {g}