somewhat settled in germany at the moment. in the rhineland. extremely small town, but staying with friends so it's all good. mostly.
spent the weekend being cool in the pool. picking up more german. saw moby dick references on german kids' shows (i swear to god i'm being haunted). saw an ironic flag watching Tour de France coverage. got my replacement mastercard (finally) and found out that my limit's a LOT higher than expected, which is actually quite welcome (though bad). talked to a number of people i haven't talked to in awhile, thanks to supercheap phonecalling from germany (although i'll still end up spending a fortune, with the amount of time i'm spending on the phone).
but most importantly (well sorta not really but somewhat), i found out that i'm stuck here. i don't have a plane ticket home. and on one hand, i guess i was sorta subconsciously letting things go so that it would work out this way because i guess i really do want to stay out here a little longer, but i really honestly thought i was going to be able to find another flight home before my ticket expired. except that i didn't. and so i'll have to buy a new ticket to get home. but i don't have money to do that right now, and i don't want to be spending that sort of money if i don't have it at the moment, which is why i don't want to just throw it on a credit card, and i owe enough people money at this point that i'd rather not borrow any more. and really, in a roundabout way, it's a little thrilling to think that i'll have to forge my own way now and figure stuff out. terribly frightening, but kinda neat.
unfortunately, and thoughts of getting work in germany have been shot by realising exactly how screwed i'd be if i were jobhunting and didn't know the language here. which isn't so unfortunate because i never really had grand intentions of staying here to work. what's ACTUALLY terribly unfortunate is that after looking into work visas, it'd be DAMN difficult to get one for norway, which is where i'd love love LOVE to work. make a decent amount of money, learn the language, although i'd be fine in english out there, that's absolutely certain. but i'm not european, and therefore it's hard to get a visa. there's always the option of being an au-pair, but in all honesty, i really don't know how long i could handle looking after kids for. mind you, i also realised yesterday that if you were looking after kids as a job rather than staying with family friends who have children and helping out there, it'd be quite different because living and work'd be separate, you don't have to feel somehow obliged to be helping out at all hours of the day like i do at the moment. but still, the thought of me looking after children is rather frightening. i'll admit it, i'm selfish, i like to do things for meself, i like to be able to sit and read or do whatever else when i want to... i prolly shouldn't be in charge of children at the moment. not for such a long period of time.
but who knows, if i found something paying under the counter in norway, i might go for it anyways, because dammit, i'd get to frolic around norway some more, and it'd be dandy!
however, as things stand at the moment, i'm resigning meself to potentially ending up in england by september and finding a job there. i think. at least, it's easier to get a work visa there than anywhere else out here (yay commonwealth!), and even though i wouldn't get to learn another language, at least i could pick up an accent, right?
still haven't told SFU that i'm not going to be back for next semester. i'm thinking that the exchange office will be a titch annoyed with me. but what can i do? i don't have a ticket home!
(course, another option might be to get a ticket, but it'd be a return one, go home for a month or so, accomplish things, and then come back out here. except that it would make more sense to return for the spring semester and stay there for that, i think. seems that way at the moment. but maybe i'd do that instead - still end up out here to work and save money and blow it on interrail passes and visiting people in finland and prague and england and norway and germany and anywhere else i can think of. what fun! i already knew i'd never end up being rich...)
and rather than make this entry longer, next topic goes in a different post. tra la!