Monday, May 12, 2003

if i keep saying that maybe this is right and maybe this is how it should go and admitting that i'm not actually feeling terribly upset which should be a sign in and of itself you would think... why am i being such a bitch in not just dropping it all? why do i feel obliged to say one more thing that's prolly just going to be taken as completely ambiguous and mind-fucking? because i don't mean it that way. yet i'm not entirely sure how i do mean it. if it's because i just don't want to let things drop, or rather, i don't know why i won't just let things drop. but i have to. because otherwise no one's gonna move anywhere. and that's not fair.

i'm becoming as pedantic as my mother in things. it's terrible. speaking of whom, i realised yesterday where i get my pickiness and indeciciveness when it comes to eating, when my mom told me how she just continuously put off eating because she didn't know where to go in her wanders about town (when there's restaurants EVERYWHERE and most are very reasonably priced when coming from a north american perspective), and even at dinner asked me what she should order rather than just pick something herself.

i'm trying to be good. i'm trying not to let her drive me insane. i'm not entirely failing at this point...

2.5 weeks. good god.

but back to the original topic. i'm sorry i keep seeming mixed. i don't know why i'm doing that, because things make sense until i talk to you again. and then i'm just busy trying to get the last word in, or something, or i have no idea what. so maybe i should just stop talking for a bit. best way to move on, right?

s'a very björk sort of week...

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