Wednesday, July 31, 2002

les galeries lafayette.

choose your language, click on "store visit" on your left, click to start, then go to the seventh floor and have a panoramic view of paris.

and then go shopping and groove to the funky music.

june and i are bored.
despite the fact that some people may not be fans, i was getting a kick watching frankie muniz on the set yesterday. i'm sorry, but he's a darling. seems terribly friendly and good-natured. yesterday there was a trio of fangirls that somehow got permission to come onto the set to meet frankie, so between takes one of the PA's brought them over to say hi. the girl closest to him made some sort of explanation as to why they were there, and half-stuck out her hand to shake, pulled it back, while frankie was doing the same thing, and they looked nice and awkward for a moment, laughing all embarassed-like. so frankie quickly shrugged and grabbed her in a bear hug. and then he shook hands with the other girls, and it was all rather adorable. what made it all amusing a second later was that as the girls were being ushered out, someone brought stacks of money - props for the scene they were filming. frankie grabbed them and ran away all hunched over, but as he came back, he glanced over to the girls leaving to see if they'd noticed him being "Sweet, Cute, Funny, and Adorable". alas, they didn't. haha.

really, the kid's a sweetheart. what i'm really envious about, however, are the segways they've got for the extras to zoom around with. because it's the secret CIA building, so of course they've got fantastical machinery like that. but really, they're damn cool. and the movie's got eight of the things.

relatively stressed, but at the same time doing alright. my dad's pulling in favours from random employees around the country, getting my police record authenticated sooner while it's done in person (someone in ottawa needs to stamp a piece of paper saying that yes, that is my signature. can we say, "retarded"?), and someone at head office is willing to translate some documents into czech for me. so i should be ready to go by monday at the latest, which'll be nice. scary, but nice.

yesterday did make things better. didn't do any work on my paper, burned music instead, went to the library in hopes of doing work but instead having a lengthy conversation with someone i've only waved at in classes this past year, found out he's working to be a music teacher, which is quite cool i think, had chinese food without being disgusted by it (surprisingly, actually. not because of the food, but because of the company), had a long, hot bath just because. today brian, john, and june have all managed to relieve the stress of talking with visa people (that, and stealing food from the catered food for the room next door). antibiotics (this time around) are done with, tomorrow i go to the doctor's and deal with stinking blood tests, tomorrow i won't have to worry about the police check thing for awhile, things are ... well, they're going.

alas, i fear that my paper will be about Dancer in the Dark rather than Hedwig. i'd rather work with Hedwig, but DitD is easier to twist into a proper topic for the class. and at this point i just want to finish things. i can't wait to get rid of that visa application....

Sunday, July 28, 2002

just for those keeping track, i'm on antibiotics. again. this is really getting monotonous. ah well. at least i had 12 hours of drug-free living there...

yesterday seems to have been the day of bizarre confessions and/or secrets. and it's not my business to share them around, but really, for some of them i had absolutely no idea what to say. everything from the recent shootings in the east indian community in richmond and surrey, to grow-op admissions, to some serious sex-talk from unexpected sources. it really was quite strange. there are times when i'm really glad people seem to like to confide in me, though. (not that all of these were confessions. but some were.) you end up hearing some fascinating stories from different perspectives. sometimes, at least.

in other news, there's a party being thrown for me on august 10th. despite the fact that i'm really not a fan of this plan, it's going to happen anyways. so if you're in town, feel free to come on by. and if you find out what the Super Secret Surprise is, let me know. not that i don't like surprises (i love them), but i'm wary of them when they come from my mother, that's all. i'm torn between inviting everyone and their dog, and keeping it quiet and limited to the people who already know about it. mind you, in class last week lisa was saying how she'd love to see me once more before i left, which suddenly made me realise that there are a fair number of people i know that i don't even think about offhand. strange thought. at any rate. if you're reading this and want to come, email me, i'll give you details & directions. bbq, hot dog roast, general outdoors-ness, whee. (no really, it'll be fun, so long as we have s'mores..)

this is why i dread doing anything big. people make big deals about them, when really, they're not. this is why i'll elope, if i ever do get married (which is a laughable thought anyways). too much fuss and to-do when you get started, too much mess when it all ends, it's just not worth the bother. if i elope, at least i might get to have elvis lead the ceremony, which could almost make it worth it. almost.

Saturday, July 27, 2002

just reading the special notes on the sticker for the medication:

If dizziness occurs, drive with caution.

don't not drive, just be careful. hrmm... {g}
there need to be 24 hour grocery stores.

Friday, July 26, 2002

frankie muniz seems to be a darling. they're filming some cheesy teen spy flick right outside the station at school (the studio window now faces out into a Secret CIA Spy Room with flashing lights and world maps that make no sense - it's all rather snazzy, even if it does make the station damn stuffy), and the whole time i was there yesterday they worked on one 30-second scene alone. take after take after take, and then from a different angle, and then... ai yi yi. i have a bit more respect for people who can feign interest in a stupid scene that many times in a row. but between takes mr muniz was goofing off, joking with the cast and crew, fake-punching people, playing patty-cake, he seemed sweet. except when he briefly reminded me of my brother for a moment. that was sorta weird.

i need to get over being scared of medicine. i really do. at the moment i feel so extremely uncomfortable and worried and tingly and physically unhappy, and it's not like i'm having any side-effects from the stuff i'm taking at the moment. it's just the thought of having anything in me at all. the big side-effect of it's nausea, though the dosage i've got really shouldn't make it bad, and i honestly haven't felt ill at all. but because of the possibility, the doctor suggested having gravol before taking the medicine, just in case i did feel sick and end up throwing up the pill. makes sense. but the thought of having gravol was freaking me out yesterday. more so than the actual medicine. most people i know have had gravol before, but not me, and for some reason it was starting to make me flip out the more i thought about it. i was being mocked for it. bastards. all of you. i'm scared to have much to eat, in case i do suddenly start to feel sick. so really, i'm only feeling more paranoid because i haven't had any proper food since yesterday morning.

screw you brain, for being scared of medicine without any good reason!
screw you mother, for instilling a deep suspicion of any drugs in me!
screw you doctors, for emphasising the side-effects more than necessary!
screw you neuroses, for making today miserable!
screw you screen door, for catching my Death By Chocolate pin and tearing it off my bag on my way out the door!
screw you taxpayers, just because!

one more day, and it's done. and then i'm fine again. i should be thankful i'm not diabetic or on any drugs that i'd have to take every day. i'd go completely insane from my mind alone. good thing i don't smoke pot. i'd definately fall into the "paranoid" category with that one.

bleah.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

i had three people offer to tell me my future by tarot cards in my dream this morning. and with each one, i picked my cards, but something happened to prevent the person from telling me what they meant. each deck was handmade: one with fancy writing, one with photographs, i don't recall what was special about the third one. the only card i do remember was one of the written ones, "Quest", which in my dream seemed rather fitting, i thought. very strange though.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

i would post if i had something interesting to say. alas, i have nothing. i don't even have milk. which is a shame, because that's why i went to the grocery store in the first place. although i have some mighty tasty cereal for when i do go back to buy the milk that i forgot about the first time around.

had a conversation about how sad it is that in this day and age, the vast majority of people, say, mid-30s and younger do not own any land of their own, and probably won't in the near future either. sad, because apartments don't count. sad, because after paying to rent a place for months/years, you still don't own it. sad, because you don't have a place where you can go outdoors and enjoy not being inside and know that this is your place. sad, because while nothing should be taken for granted, having a grassy lawn should still be something that could be taken for granted.

or so says i.

but i'm a tired girl tonight. so never mind me.

Monday, July 22, 2002

jodi and i revelled in our ghetto sensibilities today, checking out the folk fest today from the po' side of the fence. which just meant that we weren't close to the stage. we could still watch the goings-on, we got to laze about on the beach listening to live music, it was all quite entertaining. lots of people with corn (on the cob). this amused the both of us greatly. alas, i still spent money on a necklace (me! buying jewelry! what is the world coming to?? though i still need a hematite necklace. then i'm done.) and a used record, but could any one of you pass up the chance to buy a record of Hungarian Gypsy Songs? i thought not.

we'd already wandered around one half of the festival area and were on our way to check out another stage when i, in my infinite talents and abilities to hurt meself, decided to step on a wasp. first sting i've had since i was twelve - i'd forgotten what it felt like. i'm sorry i had to remember it all over again. we were right by one of the security people watching the fence for people jumping over it, so i hobbled over to ask if there was anything nearby or what to do. she had sympathy for me, but after radio-ing around she said that my only options were paying $50 to get into the festival and visiting the first aid people, or walking all around the outer fence to reach a lifeguard over on jericho beach. this is the price to pay for cheating the system, i suppose - no medical assistance. though i'm sure if i had started to lose consciousness they could have done something for me. at any rate, we turned around and started back towards the beach. on our way back we passed another one of the security people who asked what happened (we'd already said hello on our way past him the first time). "stepped on a wasp." "well, i just happen to have some tea tree oil and lavender oil, and i may even be able to throw in some patch!" "patch?" "patchouli," he clarified. he was awesome. more things that don't suck: strangers with pretty-smelling oils and generosity when you need them. so he gave me a couple of drops to put on the sting which did help a bit. my poor feet, though. heat blisters, general dustiness from walking everywhere barefoot, and now a wasp sting. they're going to strangle me in my sleep soon if i'm not careful, just you watch! strangled by your own feet. what a way to go.

making it back to the beach, we sat and listened to music for awhile, ran into ben from high school and possibly his stripper-girlfriend (i'll pretend it's her, because it makes me laugh), and decided to walk back to the car, parked over by the planetarium. see, we'd planned to walk along the beach from kits beach to jericho beach, didn't expect to stay so long at the folk fest, though it really was quite the wonderful afternoon. i was perfectly content to go home, but jodi decided that the day still needed gelato. though it seems they're not making lavender gelato at the moment! i was terribly disappointed - it's my favourite. (think of the smell. that's how it tastes. and yes, it's a good thing!)

and now an inkpen's at the door with dogs, so i must be gone.
cleaning out emails, i just realised that my horoscope for this week suddenly seems rather poignant:

Libra: After analyzing your astrological omens, I see it's an ideal time for you to develop a more intimate relationship with pronoia. The opposite of paranoia, pronoia is a theory that says life is constantly conspiring to shower you with blessings. I know it may sound preposterous, but evidence tending to confirm this theory is now mounting in your vicinity. To get yourself in sync with the cosmic trends, I suggest you make a list of "Things That Don't Suck." A San Jose newspaper called "The Wave" recently offered its version, which included the following: "Eating someone else's food out of the refrigerator and not getting sick. Buying someone a great gift and keeping it for yourself. Losing your virginity to someone completely out of your league." Now get out there and make your own list, Libra. I'm sure you can do better.

rob brezsny's forecasts actually have a tendency to be useful, i've found. or at least amusing. at any rate. although i'm not writing a whole list out here, i've got a few to add. coming up with specific things is actually a little harder than i thought. which is sad. anyways.

- bananas stuck on spoon handles and dipped in yogurt, frozen.
- going to a name-brand store, complaining bitterly about high prices and low quality and ugly styles, then finding a perfect shirt which lasts longer and costs less than any others you have.
- unsolicited notes and compliments from strangers and friends alike.
- "jesus attacked by bees/peas" on the cover of the kids' bulletin at church. poor jesus.
- reinhold's "russian sailor dance"
- ending up closed in by traffic forcing you to drive the speed limit, just as you pass either a speed trap or a police officer.
- being on antibiotics which make you more sensitive to the sun, meaning that you can develop a nice tan all over by being in the sun for minutes at a time. helps the pale parts catch up.
- finding a stash of candies you had intended to mail overseas but never got around to doing, which means that the intended recipients wouldn't miss them all that much if you ate a few.

feel free to add more if you want. oh! use the comment thingy! yes. you know you want to. comments are good. and i can't have my list stop right there, can i? {g}

Sunday, July 21, 2002

what an exciting day.

i did two and a half hours of paid data entry. i watched Cowboy Bebop episodes. i couldn't get interested in Princess Monoke. i read a few more pages of Seymour, an Introduction. i dozed on daniel's bed. i watched parts of Austin Powers, intermingled with some sex show on TBS. followed by parts of Austin Powers 2 intermingled with parts of Buffy. anya and xander didn't get married and spike had a date. shocking. i annoyed meself getting hung up on having no one to do anything with today while simultaneously not feeling up to doing anything with anyone today.

i blame the freezing they did in my mouth. fun feeling when it begins to disappear and you can feel your lips again, but i never feel quite meself afterwards.

however, on the brighter side of things, what i learned today:
- i will never get over being scared of needles. never.
- people with spinal chord damage (and therefore no sensation) can still experience orgasms, meaning that their brains can still feel them. doctors hypothesize now that unlike most nerves, the ones used during orgasms bypass your spinal chord and follow their own route up to the brain.
- contrary to what we were told in that terrible sex class last semester (that "an orgasm's an orgasm"), and according to the aforementioned sex show, there is a difference between clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms, in terms of which muscles go nuts (it's due to different nerves being stimulated).
- cheesy comedic anime is a wonderful thing. "at first glance, it's interesting." {g}
- i miss the number keypad when i use the laptop. meh. c'est la vie.
- obviously i need to have more days alone without people if i go nuts after one day alone while everyone i know is busy. didn't realise i'd become that needy of people. hmm. although social laziness helped somewhat.
- i think i just have a thing for people named spike. he's the only attraction in buffy. he's awesome in cowboy bebop. mind you, she never did much for me on degrassi. not that i ever watched the show. this is just a working hypothesis for now, though.

and after such an exciting day, on such a wonderful saturday night, my first one without any deadlines looming over me in awhile (break from papers and inability to do much about visas until this prague thing's figured out next week), i'm going to bed.

at 10:47pm. par-tay.
today thus far, aside from having a cavity re-drilled (though the terrible time was made somewhat better by the terribly attractive dentist doing the deed*), i have had to change my PIN on my bank account in order to make sure it works in europe as well. so very sad. it's the same PIN i've used since i was 13, or whenever it was that i got my first bank card, and i'm rather attached to it. i've known it for a long time - even longer than i've had the bank card. in grade 6, we had computer time which was supposed to teach us how to use computers but really it was just about playing computer games. Oregon Trail got dull, so i opted for Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?, and when they asked for a player name, i started to type my own name, got bored of the idea, and dragged my fingers across the keyboard instead. it's complete nonsense, and perfect for a password. i rather liked it. but now it's been shortened to only 4 digits, and i'm sad to have it gone. though i was tempted to make it "1 1 1 1". tempted, but didn't give in. because what sort of an idiot has "1 1 1 1" for a PIN number?

* and usually these things don't make too much of an impression on me. not enough to mention it, at least. so perhaps it's a reflection on her.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

oh. and:

"i've been waiting at the wrong bus stop but here this is yours."

Note, don't you know.

P.G.o.S.

Pretty Girl on Stairs
I can't help it - you are reading
My favourite book.
And this stellar occasion will override the bashful haste, the key theme of my evening so far.
It will force me to
Scribble and Scram.

But really don't you think?
This should never preclude you from your rightful knowledge that you are:
Pretty Girl on Stairs.

P.S. For Esmè, With Squalor is my favourite story in it, I think.
P.P.S. Sorry for all the superlatives - surely it is due to time constraints.


i didn't even see his face properly - he was gone before i had the chance to even look at him.
i keep alternating between feeling absolutely wonderful to being incredibly frustrated and confused and practically in tears. it's really starting to become annoying. you see, i'm not that sort of person, to be breaking down and crying. uncertainty doesn't usually bother me. taking off for awhile isn't a problem. but lately, for some reason, it has been. largely due to the frustration of dealing with governmental organizations and legal issues that no one seems able to help me with (despite the fact that this is their job). but also because i really don't know what i want right now. i do want to go. but i don't think i want to be leaving now. there's still too much i haven't done yet.

and then today i suddenly realised that it's entirely possible that due to a miscommunication, the university in prague has only accepted me for one semester, while SFU has me going for two. which means that at the moment, i still have a choice between going for 4 months or 9. the only problem is that i want to be there at least for the second semester - the one where i've settled in and i'm comfortable with everything and know how everything works, but you can't get the second one without the first. such pesky details.

still, this has to end soon. i realised driving home from work today that today was friday, which meant that yesterday was thursday, which meant that i should have done my show. but after becoming so pissed off after talking to the visa people, i completely forgot about everything else planned. whoops. so while i've been stressing and will continue to stress over visas and criminal checks and idiotic visa companies and consulates, this is what has been happening: finishing papers, carousing with friends, finishing the terrible job and starting a new, not-so-terrible one that i can do at home, and today i pick up my laptop.

it's quite nice having zhan out in vancouver. it's been quite nice doing things with him (and some of his gang) throughout the week. yesterday zhan and i wandered the streets of vancouver breaking hearts wherever we went. it was good fun. poor guy got to see me in real life while i'm a little more scattered than usual, though. and while i was in a bit of a tiff yesterday. (i can understand that stores might not want you to take pictures of their display. i think it's stupid, but i can understand them. but when you won't let me take a picture of the rainbow reflection when absolutely no products are in the frame, and put your hand over it to stop me from snapping a picture of the one thing that was cheering me up, well, you really are a bastard, aren't you.)

as jodi mentioned, we saw instructional videos at the blinding light. we were allowed to pick from a list of films to give the show a personal touch. so everyone went for the good titles.
most disturbing: the frontal lobotomy recovery reel. brent commented that it was suiting that he picked the most deranged film of the night.
dullest AND most amusing: "Canadian Pacific 1" by a david rimmer. still shots of the train yards and N Vancouver in the background. over the course of three months. no sound. eleven minutes. wow. so exciting he made a sequel called "Canadian Pacific 2". this time he filmed it out of his living room window. it was when the shadow puppets made an entrance in the first one that things got interesting.
most hilarious: How Not To Endanger Yourself If You're A Los Angeles Cop With A Gun Harrassed By A Loony With A Knife. and the dude who wouldn't blink.
strangest: the National Film Board of Canada music film with a cheery tune accompanied by incomprehensible visuals.
cheesiest: old Red Rose ads featuring chimpanzees.
most grounded: the NFB documentary on working moms circa 1970-ish. granted, the title mentioned tigers, so it sounded a little more interesting at first.
most awarded: "Is It Always Right To Be Right?", narrated by orson wells, academy award-winner in 1970.

there were more shown, but those are the ones that stick out. really, if you weren't there, you missed out.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

from an online 1920 review of Caligari, translated:

Should not just this little artistic style in the film lost go, arose immediately the question: with which means one can the konturverschwommene disposition of the unreal, mentally distorted express on the linen?

indeed...

it also uses the word "unrealisticer". {g}
i have a plan. it's a very cunning plan.

actually, it's not all that cunning. but it will take up lots of time. and it does mean playing around with paints and pencil crayons and index cards and glue and construction paper and glitter and magazine clippings and lord knows what else. it does, however, also mean that i have to attempt to draw people. that's okay. i'll manage.

maybe i just won't sign my name when i'm finished it all. as though that would make a difference.

oh, the many things that can be done with empty, ugly, photo albums from the early 80s...

(today i finish this job for a looooooong time.)

Monday, July 15, 2002

at work at 6am, taking my time to get started on real work, playing NIN nice and loud on my computer.

being here early and alone has its advantages.
if i was ever absolutely, truly, positively healthy for a day, i don't think i'd recognise it for what it was. i thought i was feeling better later on yesterday, so i gave up on the doctor idea. until i started feeling terrible all over this morning. i think i have way too high a tolerance for feeling off. or at least i play it down more than i should for fear of sounding like a hypochondriac. and then i end up having "a particularly nasty infection" as opposed to "a minor infection", which suddenly explains so many things about how my body's been feeling and acting lately, and it's a relief to know that i wasn't making things up, but at the same time, if i'd gone in sooner, i'd have saved meself so much more stress and anguish...

or maybe i just need my own personal doctor to follow me around and keep tabs on me 24/7.

at any rate. despite that mess, today jodi and i had dim sum for the first time with zhan and his friends. it was actually made for a rather tasty breakfast. so much better than the canadian chinese food i've become used to (and started to abhor) over the years, though i was told that it isn't even the best dim sum in the world. zhan and bruce were going to do the Grouse Grind later this afternoon, and i'd have loved to have joined them if papers and doctors hadn't been an issue. maybe later this week. at any rate. i like their group. i'd met a couple of them at the Vancouver Film Fest last year, but even then the friends i met (all complete strangers, my only connection to them was zhan, who was home in TO at the time) had a way of making you feel completely at home hanging out with them. s'kinda funny meeting a friend's friends before you actually meet the friend for the first time. {g} i love meeting an online friend for the first time. there's the brief moment of hesitation while you get over the weirdness of their looks/voice in person, and then it just feels like you've known them for ages. of course, there are people you meet in real life who immediately feel comfortable around as well, but it's not quite the same as an online friend. it's just the strange mix of familiarity and foreignness combined that makes it grand.

Sunday, July 14, 2002

i should still be asleep right now. i should have been asleep for the past three hours. a few more hours and i'll be able to go to the doctor in hopes that he'll make me feel better. nothing better than trying to sleep in a hot, stuffy, room, waking up at 4am realising that you feel terrible, and being unable to fall back to sleep because you're too fitful to even feign any sort of comfort. so instead the past few hours have been spent lying in the dark pretending i'm asleep, finishing Raise High the Roofbeams, Carpenters, wandering the house aimlessly, trying new hairstyles, and being surprised by a cat leaping out of the storage space without warning, tracking hints of insulation across my bed. so very productive.

i have a glass of stuff that i'm hoping will make me feel a little better until the rest of the world wakes up. i think it's working a smidgeon, which is a godsend, miniscule though it might be. it's some sort of powder dissolved into water and it really doesn't have a flavour to speak of, yet somehow i can't take a sip of it without shuddering and wrinkling my nose as i swallow it. i think it's the feel of the liquid - indescribably slimy, even though it's basically just water. which means, if i remember anything from high school chemistry, that whatever the powder is, it's basic, right?

so much for catching up on sleep today.

Saturday, July 13, 2002

according to my hand:

Your Life Line reveals that you like to travel, but will always return home. You need a lot of space which is why you prefer spending time outdoors. You tend to have strong romantic tendencies.

Your Head Line reveals that you are self confident, optimistic and capable of making your own decisions. You are not afraid to speak your mind.

Your Heart Line reveals that you have a masculine nature and are easily aroused by your own desires. You are able to maintain a good balance between the physical and emotional sides that accounts for your warm and generous disposition.

Your Fate Line reveals that the early years in your life were full of hard knocks, teaching you that success comes from hard work. Due to this learning process, you will have a late start with your career and financial independance.

Your Sun Line reveals that a love affair or marriage will have a very positive influence on your career. Due to this, you will achieve happiness and material success later in life.

You have a Fire hand. You are a person who is restless, outgoing, ambitious, confident and at times promiscuous. Your optimal career choices are to work as a lawyer, politician, entertainer, and an athlete in non-contact sports.


i have a fire-hand. watch it, or i'll set you all a-flame...

and because it's just been so long:
I'm corn! One of the best loved of vegetables, I'm loved by all I meet! (or so I like to think). I'm outgoing, popular, and loved by the general populace. I can sometimes be really rude to those who oppose me, and I hate being proved wrong. Afterall, I'm always right!
why is my last post not showing up?
i had every intention of posting yesterday, and then somehow didn't end up at a computer.

BUT.

a very happy [belated] birthday to tavie!!! it sounds as though you had a lovely day. and in a strange coincidence in timing, i got your postcard yesterday! i'll have to scan it up when i have the chance. foreign postcards are so amusing though. and the quotes quite lovely, thank you. hope you continue not to find enough time to read while you're away. {g}

as well, steve, that is awesome news. i'm happy for you. {g}

in my world:
- spent a day at the beach. men playing violin at the shore. women playing the flute wandering the beach. jam session further along. children buried in sand. synchronised dogs. a couple oblivious to everyone else on the beach, too busy being in love (coulda been disgusting, but instead it was adorably sweet to watch).
- went to the naam again and found a new favourite comfort food. pizza pita with spinach, onions, mushrooms, feta, and other cheeses. now if only i can learn to make it meself.
- saw One Hour Photo. was completely preoccupied with the soundtrack, exclaiming over the music used and indignant over the songs stolen. it wasn't until later that i realised that if it's a workprint, the music's probably not going to be the same when the movie's released in theatres. strangeness. interesting film, though. interesting filming style. coulda been more, but it was still decent as it was.
- got a Visa card. as in another credit card. oooh, the spending potential. not as though i'd use it, though.
- realised that i may be seriously in trouble over prague. at least, over Czech study visas. need to talk to someone, see if i can't get around some things. the sad thing is that it's really all my fault. and at the moment i'm not sure if i'd rather it be resolved, or have it just not work out, which is even worse.
- heather just dropped by. she was told to come speak to me about bare feet. she likes running around without shoes as well. the two of us talked excitedly about the wonderful feelings of being bare foot, what terrains felt the best, how we don't see enough barefoot children these days, the amazing feeling of mud sqlooshing through your toes... made me feel a little better.
- was told off for my hair looking normal. "you better have it looking weird on monday and you'd better come show me, or things might get nasty!" this coming from one of the older women who work here as well. it's the people you don't actually call upon who can brighten your day up the most.*
- almost had a good conversation with my mother. almost. so very very close.
- laughed a lot. not really out of the ordinary for me, but always fun.

that's all. i really have to start writing proper entries, because this is becoming rather dull. i'm sure i'm sorry.

* not that those you do call upon don't help. but the element of surprise always adds to the effectiveness of any comment. yay, absurdism!

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

dance, spidey, dance! for the music alone. i still need a full album of music like that.

and make another you.

i'm never finishing this paper tonight.

(links c/o b3ta)
as though i need help procrastinating..

buffy swears
(cautiously hitting "h" first was possibly the creepiest moment i've had in awhile)

it's peanut butter jelly time
"i do so have high moral standards no i don't."

four pages to write, and i can go to bed. and then i can get up nice and early tomorrow and spend the day at the beach. instead of just doing it, however, i've chatted with the computer geeks at school, had lunch with brian, chatted some more with the computer geeks, emailed with jodi, taken the scenic route home from downtown, napped with the cat, woken up to the cat licking my face all over, dropped off s-e-x-e journal articles for samien, had a picnic dinner with ms morals, been called both strange and weird and gotten a kick out of it, and read some more blogs.

pathetic. downright pathetic.

and now i think i'll go have a shower. the paper can wait another little while.
happy birthday jess!

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

michael jackson frightens me. he really, truly does. i'm having no luck in finding "Black or White" (at least, not through legal methods, and as i'm using the school computers at the moment, this is all i've got), so i fear that my presentation plans may be shot. damn.
"dang! mothafucka!"
1. if one more person exclaims how nice my hair is today, i will begin hurting people. it's not nice. in fact, it is decidedly un-nice. i woke up this morning and went straight to work. i brought a bandana with me to tame my unruly 'do and never got around to tying it on. it's farah fawcett extreme. it's a little crazier after all the shampoo and conditioner needed to get the hairspray out on the weekend. you freaks. all of you.
2. the people at harbour centre are awesome. they're all sarcastic, they're all funny, they're all friendly, i love it. even if the actual building itself is full of corporate sponsorship and exudes pristine perfection, the people here are a lot more fun than the people up at the burnaby campus. or maybe they just stand out so much more against the starkness of the business world.
3. geoff rocks my world. i have an option of an IBM thinkpad, P2, 300Mhz, blah blah blah for $550, but geoff can get me a brand spankin' new IBM that should cost over $2000 for somewhere between $600-800. (canadian, of course.) methinks i know which way i'm leaning. it's a little more, but to have all the extra doodads, i'm sure it's worth it. just means no digital camera for me. unless it's really cheap. (anyone have any suggestions?)
4. good god, geoff is married. alright, he's 27, but he doesn't look older than me, and he certainly doesn't act it. and he certainly doesn't act like a husband would act. (because, y'know there truly is a way that husbands act...right?) hearing "my wife" come out of his lips is just...bizarre. and really, i couldn't imagine him calmed down enough to handle a wedding ceremony. strangeness. but it's damn funny.
5. i may be showing michael jackson's Black or White as a part of a presentation tomorrow. frightening? yes. fun and kitschy? hell yeah.
6. aforementioned presentation may also include showing a snippet of "Duck Soup", if i can find a copy of the video sometime in the near future. yaaaaaay gratuitous old-movie scene-with-black-people.
7. it appears that people in prague have something against replying to emails. particularly when the person sending them considers the questions to be somewhat important. it seems i'll fit in well there.
8. apparently this past weekend has officially been Bad Music Weekend on every single station on the radio. including some stations that usually play something worthwhile. unfortunately it appears to be extending into today as well.
9. i always liked fred astaire more than gene kelly. and tomorrow i'm doing a presentation on a film i haven't even seen, and ended up unable to when the library's turned to summer hours, which inexplicably includes being closed on mondays. the world is on crack, i tell you.
10. speaking of crack, despite his protests, i firmly believe that chris is on crack. there's nothing particular to give me such an idea, however while playing with a magic 8-ball today, i asked if he was on crack. "it is decidedly so" came the response. "indeed, yes!" it followed up. so alas, i am sad to say, his baby's going to have a crack-daddy. so very sad...
11. no, i don't feel like writing a paper right now...

Monday, July 08, 2002

oh! and one more thing that means absolutely NOTHING to anyone but me. i saw paul on ctv today! the few minutes i sit down to channel-surf, and i flip to some show promoting halifax as a tourist place, and who should be hosting the show but paul, the former YTV veejay that i loved so. him and phil were the best. i was so sorry they left - they made babysitting tv-watching bearable what with having to watch Sailor Moon and other terrible shows. when i was at home i'd watch YTV for them, not even bothering with the actual shows that were on. now, of course, the veejays are terrible, and i really worry about that girl with the high squeaky voice. she frightens me.

paul & phil rocked, though. they made cheesy jokes. they constantly went off on bizarre tangents. they had as absurd a sense of humour as i did. they had absolutely no problem laughing at themselves. they were awesome. phil moved onto the anti-gravity room, which i never watch and don't even know if it's still on, and paul disappeared to lord-knows-where. off the television screen, as far as i knew. but now he's on a lame canadian tourism show! still makes the bad jokes, still finds humour in the stupid things, still has the red hair, and apparently he's an avid golfer. also noticed he's got a big, snazzy, tattoo around his arm - he always had long sleeves on YTV.

i ended up learning about this restaurant that's open all night long, looks like it's an old castle, apparently it has escape routes through the cellar to the water, don't know why. but i'll have to go to Halifax again sometime just to go there. it was strange seeing snippets of places i vaguely recognised, though. wish i could have explored Halifax some more when i was there.

but yay! paul!

and now i'm finished.
30 bobby pins and a lot of hair spray, and i had prettier hair than i ever imagined possible. i was sorry to have to take it all out to sleep last night. the fellow doing my hair, ian, i'd see him again in an instant. he was adorable. we bitched about people in general, commiserated over nothing, exclaimed over even less, found out we had the same birthday, and he pointed out that virgos are wannabe libras. i get a certain amount of personal satisfaction out of that comment, so regardless of whether it's true, i'll revel in it for a little while. mwahaha.

samien's wedding was fun. lotsa persian music, lotsa dancing, lotsa food, lotsa desserts, lotsa fruit, lotsa beautiful people (i swear there isn't one ugly or ungraceful person in her entire family. not one!), lotsa fun. i wish i had cousins that were even half as goofy as hers. and her father is so very sweet. both of her parents were so very happy, but watching him dance at the end of the night was just grand.

i still don't plan on getting married anytiume soon. but i'm not feeling entirely as anti-wedding as i was before.

and playing with patrick was fun, i'll admit it. mwahaha. {eg}

in other news, i've decided to become french-canadian. or persian. i'm not entirely sure who started it, though it seemed like most everyone was doing it last night. but i'm all for the kiss-kiss greeting on both cheeks. (it was a bit of a surprise from patrick when we left - he caught me off-guard. but again, mwahaha. and i'll stop now.)

still. i need to find more excuses to get prettified. it really is a lot of fun.
because this result can't NOT be posted:


The B-Movie That Suits Me Is:

Flesh Gordon: In the 70's 'big budget' porns were all the rage. These hybrids combined b-movie sets
and scripts with humpalicious action, while not hardcore like modern stuff.The ultimate was Flesh Gordon, now regarded as a comedy.

Find out which b-movie suits you.

Saturday, July 06, 2002

a bowl of mango and three red cherries from the yard are sitting on my desk. i'm hesitant to eat them because the colours look oh so pretty. particularly against the mess of photos, notes, coupons, candle-ends, broken cd's, and dead pens that surround them. well, and also because the mango's a little over-ripe and the cherries are a tad under-ripe, but you can't have everything, can you.

on The List of Things To Do, number one today was Go To The Dentist. everything hinged on it, because that would be the impetus to get me out of the house. and then the dentist office called to ask if it would be alright if i had my appointment two and a half hours later.

as though i had a say in the matter. though if i'd insisted that no, i had to come at 10, what would they have done?

anyways. this is why i'm sitting here online catching up on random diaries. everything's been moved back two hours. which means i won't get near as much done today. tragic. means i'm not practicing piano at the Hyatt Hotel though. i think i'll be going there for fun sometime next week.

samien asked me to come to the Bayshore yesterday to be there while they went through the program for the wedding on saturday. first time i was playing the canon with other people listening. first time in years i had an official audience. i'd forgotten about the feeling you get when you perform when it matters. some sort of adrenaline rush, i suppose, but while you play everything's clear, everything's perfect, you're hyper-aware of every note you hit... it's wonderful. so very satisfying. i'm not stressed about saturday whatsoever. at least, not for my playing.

watching the amount of planning samien et al were doing though! ai yi yi. i'll never have a big wedding ceremony. too much fuss and bother, all for the sake of going through some meaningless rigamarole and recitation that really, in the end, is nothing more than words and some scribbles on a piece of paper which somehow makes things "official". foolishness, i say! and a waste of money. and time. and stress.

at the same time though, i felt just a tad envious of the fact that for everyone there, all that mattered was saturday. no papers, nothing else that they should have been doing, just the wedding. must be nice to have such a simple life, even if it is only for a short period of time.

what a dull entry.

Lord of the Rings is showing for free at school tonight. hurrah, chinatown night market and your illicit dvd copies! must remember to bring the healthy tea that smells green and forest-y. somehow it's the only appropriate drink for LotR.

Tuesday, July 02, 2002

oh! i nearly forgot - i actually received a postcard the other day! from The one and only, Cheerios Nicole. {g} made my day.

must go postcard-searching this afternoon.
the half-moon rice crackers really are rather disgusting. alas, i've picked everything else out. what a tasty breakfast.
i have a group presentation this wednesday evening, and for the past while i've been complaining about my group: nothing got done, everyone was too artsy and indecisive, one person was trying to take charge....

well, we got together yesterday to practice for a few hours, and i actually had a great time. we got work done, we had each other in stitches at times, and best of all, we all commiserated about the paper i should have been writing this weekend. and after discussing it with them, i feel so much better about my topic. i think it works. and i feel incredibly relieved that everyone else seems to be just as unsure about it as i do. for now, i'm more stressed about playing for samien's wedding on saturday, which is as it should be. which is why i spent hours at the piano this weekend. and would have played some more if my fingers hadn't started to get tired.

i've missed piano. a lot. i should have gotten my ARCT. or at least finished my grade 10. ah well. something to do whenever i graduate!

Monday, July 01, 2002

sarah: [bitchmoancomplain about no time, no inspiration, complete confusion regarding the paper she should be writing]
daniel: [watching a gaming show in the midst of his summer vacation] if you think your life is hard, i have to wait until tuesday to pick up my computer. oh!

bastard.