Saturday, November 30, 2002

quiz on canadian social values. found the address scribbled on a piece of paper i've been carrying around for ages, don't remember where i got it. but apparently i'm a new aquarian.

Thursday, November 28, 2002

last one for today:

in milan, every woman had extremely pointy shoes. ones that go on far past your foot ends, and most of them curl up at the tip. it seems like everyone wishes they were an elf there. ugly. as. hell. but apparently high fashion.

if i were them i'd be scared of getting them caught at the top of the escalators.
bratislava in a nutshell:
- mcdonald's twice. i feel terrible. but it was the only thing nearby the embassy, cheapish, and open. if we don't count the "cafes" that only served alcohol, and were quite full of patrons for 9am. which is a shame, because one had the goshdurned cutest kitten sitting the front window playing with dust in the air. but i wanted food, not vodka. so sad.
- i now have a slip of paper with a phone that i am to call to find out when to pick up my visa. finally!
- nearly bought leather fuckme boots. should have. but realised the left leg's skinnier than the right, and didn't realise that that's easily fixable through excercise. at the time, thought it just looked silly wearing them. doh. but i will find my fuckme boots eventually.
- oh yeah, mcdonalds in bratislava doesn't have egg mcmuffins. makes me wonder if they exist in the czech republic. hmm.
- michal is wonderful. wants to meet brent when he comes out here in the spring, just to tell him about my many czech boyfriends, and the three days that i never left the hotel room in bratislava after the bellboy brought me my bags.
- felt like winter. felt very very nice.
- everyone knew i was an english speaker the second i opened my mouth. even though i was trying so hard to speak czech. which they do understand there. but they always answered me in impeccable english.
- it's embarrassing being an english-speaker.

but at least i (nearly) have my visa. finally.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

i keep having dreams about people dying. never me. other people. sometimes i know it's going to happen before it does, sometimes it doesn't. last night it involved cancer, and me knowing that my mother was going to die even though she didn't. that came after the dream with the gunshots. because that's how most people have been dying lately.

the funniest one was where my only protection was the medical students dressed in military gear. specifically poonam and aqil. if you knew them, you'd understand how amusing the image is.

still. what does death mean in dreams? when you're not dying, but you watch bullets rip through someone in exquisite detail? usually people you don't know personally, but even so. any thoughts?
You will live in Mansion.
You will drive a blue vw bug.
You will marry brentos and have 12 kids.
You will be a musician in london.

i love mash...

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

spent an extra night in milan accidentally. it wasn't planned. wasn't wanted either. i have to say i'm generally unhappy with the milan-ese.

but more on that later.

for now, home for a day, going to bratislava for my visa tomorrow, and THEN recuperation from the vacation.


Friday, November 22, 2002

good: i'm in lagos, portugal!!!
bad: my shoes are still wet from yesterday.
good: my sandals are still wet from playing in the ocean all day and spending the day at the beach. i have a tan.
bad: i feel sticky.
good: watching waves.
bad: watching waves suddenly be enormous and go right up to where my jacket's lying out on the beach, holding my camera and my cell phone.
good: waves being smart enough to stop JUST before touching my camera. with the smallest margin of space imaginable. really lucky.
bad: waves still sucking enough to attack my cell phone. it's toast. going cellphone shopping when i'm back in prague.
good: met a friendly british fellow who gave me lunch with andorran cheese and good beer.
bad: .....
good: did i mention i'm in portugal?

other than this cellphone issue, things are grand. and maybe, just maybe, if it dries out, maybe it'll work. won't it?

off to eat a 4 euro meal. british dude said that if he sees me later, which he prolly will, considering what a small town this is, he'll buy me a drink. i like british guy.

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

portugal is absolutely amazing. as if there was going to be any doubt. although this accidental finding of a free internet place (and really really cheap food!) is a bonus. seeing groups of girls running around in ballet tights and tutus is of amusement as well. also just spent the past twenty minutes reading a portuguese newspaper and understanding it (for the most part - they like the new aimee mann, they don't seem to have big issues with justin timberlake's solo album, apocalypsos, and sigur ros coming to town in march).

i can't even begin to describe how wonderful it is to be on an ocean again, smelling the breeze, hearing the waves, feeling the salt all over my skin... i didn't actually realise how much i'd missed it until now. anyways, spending a day in evora, then heading south to the algarve. yaaaay more coast.

for now. hungry. must be up early to take more pictures (6 rolls done thus far). hope everyone else is doing well.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

oh yeah! forgot to mention. no NATO summit for sarah. going to portugal early thursday morning.
downside: going with gun-totin' american. but i can handle him. even if i appear to be one of the few who can, which is what really perturbs me. having people continuously say sorry when they hear i'm going with him is starting to worry me. ah well. we already have an agreement not to take offense when one of us ditches the other.
upside!: current temperatures are a balmy mid/high-teens in lisbon, all the way up to 30 degrees celsius on the south coast (sagres)!

i'm gonna have a dandy week.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002


yesterday in class we went to a monastery and wandering around inside for awhile, looking at frescos and the layout and all that exciting stuff. interesting place. outside one of the sanctuaries was a little pool of holy water. i had to dip my fingers in it. (wouldn't you?) and once i had and my fingers were wet, i had to do the cross over my forehead/chest. (quickly and subtly, when no one was looking.) i don't know why. i was never trained to do it. i'm not catholic, whatever i do believe, and lutherans don't do that. i've only ever touched holy water two or three times in my life, when we went to services with arielle as kids. but some part of me couldn't just wipe it off or let it dry without doing anything with it first. it just seemed wrong not to.
saturday wasn't going to be all that exciting. the hike we were supposed to go on was cancelled. tagged along to look at apartments with people. talking to alister, he mentioned someplace with "mountains" at the end of a tram line. seeing as the weather had suddenly turned glorious, i made him take me there. but just before we headed off from the cafe, this girl with a beautiful coat (i'd seen her when she ordered her food earlier) came over and asked if she'd heard one of us say that we were canadian. her name's tegan, she's from vancouver, just travelling around for a month or two, hated where she was staying and wanted to find somewhere else for when she got back from poland. ended up inviting her to stay in the kolej. invited her to go hiking as well, and she came along, and it was so much fun. we mocked alister for calling the glorified hills mountains. she's graduated from art school, does printmaking. reminds me so much of the inkpen twins combined.

and then on sunday night she said she couldn't stand it, could she stay over just one night before she left. so last night she hung out with the bunch of us, and all was good.

and i'm still amused by the fact that together we were tegan & sara(h). and she's gonna stay at the kolej another week at the beginning of december. and it was just nice to pretend that i'd had a friend from home come out and visit me. because so many other people have had visitors and i won't have anyone until next semester, if i'm lucky. but even though it wasn't planned, i got a friend afterall!

tegan's awesome. for more than just her name and her coat. and now i have someone else i'll have to see when i go home over christmas. doh.
happy birthday david, whose page doesn't even work today. broken links are my birthday present to you!!!

oh, and i still have cookies for you.

(was the birthday today or yesterday?)
i have a Very Important Email sitting and waiting to be sent, and yet i'm still not doing it. not sure why. i think because then the ball's out of my court once again. and i'm still waiting for advice from others who don't appear to be around. when really, it makes no difference what they'd say, i'm sure, because i've said what i need to say, i think. but if you hold everything up on your side, sometimes you can pretend that things are at a standstill and you can still imagine the ideal outcome. or feel important, because everything still rests on you.

it's fun to be delusional sometimes.

Friday, November 08, 2002

yesterday had an odd feel. it was one of those good days that's good but taken with great ambivilence in the way you see things and most of all in the way you talk about things. discussing the qualities of hatred and bonding over the mutual hatred of one person here meritted as much emotion as planning a trip or looking for boots or wishing someone a happy birthday. unfortunately this also meant that a great deal of what i said was taken with offense. i didn't think i was being nearly that sarcastic, but perhaps i was.

and then sarah confronted a few more issues she has with drinking. no, i wasn't drinking. no, it wasn't the drunken person who brought them up. it was the other people around who did. but these things are being resolved.

and then today not much happened. although apparently there are some who are surprised that my entire personal life isn't completely reflected on this page. there's a surprise, to be sure.

afterwards, i amazed meself eating an entire bar of chocolate in three minutes. the big square ones that you break into smaller pieces and eat over time. i was supposed to share it. guess i was a little more angry than i realised.

tonight, tomato soup, bread of the gods, veggie cream cheese, and milk that almost tastes like milk back in canada.

or maybe i'll just make hot chocolate.

oh i do so lead an exciting life!

Thursday, November 07, 2002

[excuse the idiocy and general empty-mindedness of this entry. i did, so can you.]


today i learned that i'm too skinny for fuck-me boots. this upsets me greatly.

today god is laughing at me.

on the plus side, the fact that i am too skinny for fuck-me boots, along with my ability to catch a leghair in the zipper while trying them on (because no, i'm not shaving my legs these days, it's cold here, i need all the body heat i can garner. that, and i really can't be bothered..) was enough to cheer maggie up and get her out of a bad mood. granted, it's because she can mock me for these things, but it's a worthwhile sacrifice, don't you think?

no, i don't think so either.

today everyone is laughing at me.


jordan'll cost $500cdn to visit. portugal's only $250 though. hmm....

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

NATO conferences are to be held in prague later this month. initially, classes were supposed to continue on. now, the rumour is that they'll be cancelled. everyone is pretty much expecting violent riots and endless terror, it seems. which is amusing to me, because the events that have happened in vancouver in the past have never seemed to be that big a deal. so i'm wondering how much of it is people expecting the worst and how much of it is actually plausible.

at any rate. originally, i was going to be here. and that was a thrill, because if it is supposed to be that exciting, then i certainly would want to be there taking pictures. however, if we have the time off, it would almost seem a shame not to use it to explore someone else. (like jordan!) so now i don't know what to do. if i stay, it will most certainly be dull and uneventful. and if i go, the world will end and i'll have missed it all.

what to do...?
amber's a mommy now. ethan seth p___. so strange. but i'm happy for the new parents. and i'm a fan of his name, as well. {g}

a belated happy new year to anyone celebrating the festival of lights last night. went out for excellent indian food with a bunch of the med students. i've realised how much i miss indian food. and sushi. when i get home, i don't care that it'll be christmas day and that i should be going home for christmas dinner, i don't care that most restaurants prolly won't even be open, i am going to have some sushi as soon as i get off the plane.

went to terezin on saturday. my first time going to anything like that - haven't done the poland/aushwitz trip yet - but the weather was rather suiting. after the decent and even sunny weather we'd had during the week, saturday was wet and windy and drizzly and dreary and miserable. it did get a little better by the afternoon, though. at any rate, very sobering. interesting to hear the stories that our guide (one of the history profs) had - he had a lot of them. strange seeing everything, though. felt terribly distanced from what had happened there in the past. terezin wasn't a concentration camp, it was the town that hitler gave "the vermin" (what a sweetie) in the red cross' eyes, which in reality was basically a holding point for people before they were shipped onwards to poland or wherever. people still died there, and regardless, it was not a happy place for anyone staying there, and most people who did go there died in the end anyways. very strange walking around the place, though. somewhat undecided as to what i think about places like that being preserved. places, plural. one, i might understand. multiple.. i'm just not sure.

always indecisive, that's me.

and in general, it has been a sit-around-and-do-nothing time. listen to music. read a little. think about lots of things and nothing at the same time. have strange dreams. get vaguely sick and hope that it doesn't linger on too long because i've already been sick once so far.

oh, last night while we were waiting for the tram, there was snow mixed in with the rain. i did little happy dances. everyone else ignored me.

yay! snow!

Friday, November 01, 2002

today's the day that caitlin and michael are getting married in scotland!

so a happy wedding day to the both of them.
computer seems to work fine. hurrah. maybe it's just posessed.