Monday, December 31, 2001

i don't konw whether to start the third book or not. that's the funny thing about books. not so much with tv or movies, but with books, you can stretch out the action as long as you want. you don't want the characters to die? don't read any more! read only a page a day and the adventure will last a lifetime. or at least a few years. it's a little more difficult to do with other media, although i suppose you could always go through a show hitting "pause" every other minute. books are a little easier to drag on. particularly series.

so while everyone is still in peril, i don't know whether to let them stay where they are, out of harms way until i continue with the next book, or to just get it over with, despite the fact that i know some characters are bound to disappear.

he may be methodical and quite obvious in some of his strategy, but i really do like tolkien. i'm going to have to read some of that robert jordan series after this, just to laugh at how much it copies. noticed that there's a new book out when i was at the bookstore today. i'm not even sure which book i left off at. which is a sad reflection on jordan, not on me.
why has my template coding disappeared?
i finally got around to seeing Amélie today. absolutely adorable movie. everyone should see it. and 'twas very nice listening to the music as well. when i was in alberta, sev (the guy i was living with) had a collection of music that he'd gotten from the radio station, most of it foreign stuff, but he had a couple of albums by yann tiersen, which i fell in love with while it was out there. it was french accordian music - how could i not? but i never got around to getting copies of them out here. however, when i found out that the soundtrack to Amélie was by tiersen, i wanted to see the movie all the more. and i'm almost certain that i recognised a couple of the the songs from the albums that sev had. i'll have to go burn a copy of the cd up at the radio station this week. but go see the movie if you can. it's beautiful to watch, and even if it is a nice little romantic comedy, it's one that i'll endorse, which is saying something. {g}

after the movie was finished, i had to wait around downtown to give jodi a ride back (who was seeing something else with other friends), and i didn't know where to go. after looking through the bookstore and making it to the comic store just in time to see the guy flipping the sign to "closed" i just stood there on granville street, wondering which way to go, still in a bit of a dream mode after the movie, wishing for something magical to take place. well, nothing magical happened, but while i was standing there, two people rode by on bikes, the guy (older, prolly in his late 30s/early 40s) singing a little song as he rode along. nothing too loud, nothing recognizable, but i noticed him doing it and half-smiled at him when he saw me. when he gave me this big happy smile back, mine turned into a real one, and for a brief moment there the world was a slightly better place. just his smile, and him going back to singing his tune.

i ended up finding this 50s diner place further along down the road, and ended up going in to have a bite to eat while i waited. nice place, and i'll have to remember it for future reference. however, i'd been sitting there about 15 minutes when the table in front of me was taken. i glanced up from my book, and it was the bikers who'd rode by earlier. the singer saw me sitting there and gave me a nice big "hello again!" smile and nod before settling down for food. he was chatting to the waitress, and most anyone else who stopped by. from london england, but hoping to move out here, entirely in love with vancouver, the gulf islands, and our general laid-back style of living as he saw it, visiting his daughter (the other biker), and a very friendly guy. but before he left, after i commented on his lovely wannabe-french hat, he came by our table (jodi had arrived by then) and briefly said hello (again) and goodbye.

very nice fellow. and actually, rather than saying goodbye, he said "hope to see you around!" regardless of whether it's likely that you'd ever see a person ever again, that phrase is so much more endearing than a simple "goodbye" regardless of how you say it. it's just friendlier, more optimistic, more open, and far more positive. that one guy made my day worthwhile in the end. gave me a little something to love about humanity. i hope i do see him again, just to catch him singing and smiling as he rides by.
Fans did not take kindly to Xenarwen, as Tyler's character was soon dubbed, and the online outcry was vociferous enough to be picked up by the major media. But few reporters recognized the stakes involved. The transformation of Arwen into a warrior didn't just tweak a character but tampered with Tolkien's fundamental portrait of the elves as otherworldly immortals who, in their decline, were ceding the driver's seat of history to mortal men.

from another article about the tolkien presence. i'm such a student, reading this rather than rumour mills. {g}

oh, and here jodi: "Jackson decided to cast Gollum as a fully computer-generated character, and the creature's spidery appearance is one of the production's most closely guarded secrets." he is CG afterall. but he doesn't have the annoying accent, so don't worry too much...
still reading this. (warning to those who might mind, there are some spoilers in the article, but i don't have any in my post, i don't think.)

jodi jokingly asked if i was going to find a way to write about tolkien this-coming semester. but y'know, it could be so interesting to actually go through and research even just a few of the points brought up here. like i said before, why did no one convince me that the books after the Hobbit were better?

It is not that Tolkien seems to have 'believed in' elves exactly, in the sense that Peter Pan means when he asks us to clap our hands. It is more that he seems to have loved the idea of them so much that he wanted to talk about them all the time, as if by talking about them, he could almost bring them into existence. Like a teenager with a crush on someone, like a sentimentalist with a grand ideal.

Elves, like people, were created by God, and are like people in most ways, only immortal, more or less, and generally better. Elves make things in the world, 'their "magic" is Art, delivered from many of its human limitations: more effortless, more quick, more complete.' They don't like change, and have a strong, though finally temporary, power to resist it. When in The Lord of the Rings the evil power is vanquished, the elves' power also 'dwindles', and they start drifting away. We are left with the image of a slender, lovely, sexless creature, cleverer than people, purer, more creative, always looking backwards in an attitude of sadness, its place in the world always in decline, like Benjamin's Angel of History.

despite the despairing fact, i still have always wanted to be an elf. really, truly. and in way more words than necessary, that's more of a reason why, jodi.

As Jacqueline Rose suggested in The Case of Peter Pan, or the Impossibility of Children's Fiction (1984), children's books tend to display anxieties about sex in much the same proportion as they try to pretend it doesn't exist. Hence, perhaps, the fashion for clothed animals - like Kenneth Grahame's Rat and Mole, sitting by the fire in their dressing-gowns and their cosy slippers. Tolkien cites Mole in 'On Fairy-Stories' as an example of a thoroughly successful sub-creation. One element of this success is those dressing-gowns, which silently lay to rest any worries we might have about the animals' sex lives.

is it ever given much thought these days, when you see animal characters wearing clothes? especially in cartoons. you almost never see naked animals. which also brings up that weird fact that when donald duck is shirtless, suddenly he's naked, and has to cover his ass which you normally see anyways. and the weird fact that him with a towel wrapped around his waist replaces fixes things, even though it's his chest that should make him "naked" in the first place. but if kids saw animals sans clothes all the time, would they really be perturbed by their sex lives, especially considering that they prolly wouldn't be following that train of thought anyways? yet another example of grown-up neuroses twisting children's minds when it's intended as an opposite, i suppose.

or is it just that if the animals wear clothes, we'd be able to relate to them more easily? even though we don't wear nightgowns and nightcaps like Mole and Rat did. (which by the way, was one of my all-time favourite books as a child. my mom read it to me a number of times, and i don't think i've read it once since i was seven or eight. should go back to it, see if i still like it.)

Though one always wonders about Merry and Pippin, and Legolas the wood-elf's prejudice-busting closeness to Gimli the dwarf.

nice. subtle. {g}

"One always does remember the great wrongs done to one, and feel so hurt by them that one will never heal. How much more gratifying to feel one has been wounded by a Morgul-knife instead of merely stabbed in the back by someone nasty. How much more satisfactory to think one has been defeated, not by ordinary slings and arrows, but in one's heroic struggle to save the world....The real War of the Ring has nothing to do with how many trolls and orcs Mordor can muster. It's a struggle with despair."

suddenly the attraction of the story makes sense. at least for the angst-ridden gen-Xer and beyond. melodrama and depression can be so appealing.

very interesting article, though.
actually, here's the London Review of Books' Reasons for Liking Tolkien. touches on some of the same points, and many many more. long, but a good read.
an article written by nonesuch comparing the tolkien world to our move towards multiculturalism. link found through metafilter.

i don't know what to think about multiculturalism. i remember back in grade two the word was defined for us. at one point i think we even had a worksheet where we had to fill in the blank, that here in vancouver, we live in a multicultural community. and then there were always multicultural days where i got to pretend i was a full-fledged german and brought saurkraut to school, despite the fact that i have still never had it in my life. but back to multiculturalism. growing up, you're taught that it's a good thing, that it makes the world a happier place. but now the the world isn't painted in black and white any longer, maybe multiculturalism isn't such a great thing afterall. sure, it's supposed to make people more tolerant of one another, but it seems that what really happens is that you end up with a melting pot society, where certain traditions end up frowned upon for whatever reason, and instead of a society where everyone can maintain their individual cultures, we end up with....north america. and while there are good sides to multiculturalism, i certainly don't think of it in the same way that i did when i was seven.

and unfortunately i'm becoming terribly distracted by hobbit links, and can't keep this up. that, and my keys keep switching. the '/" key keeps changing symbols with the `/~ key, not to mention a french-canadian setup rearing it's ugly head between paragraphs. i think my keyboard is posessed.
so what i said about stopping posting so many tests.. well we already know that i can't keep a resolution if my life depended on it.

and i must say, sarah's page makes me smile right now. so many pictures. musician bitch fest. {g}

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Take the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.

Take the Radiohead Collective Member Test.

Sunday, December 30, 2001

i hate my computer.
i hate living here.
i hate not knowing what to do.
i hate not being able to do what i actually want to do.
i hate these pretzel things, although i keep eating them.
i hate the 'net. why can it not be more organised?
i hate emotional people.
i hate families.
i hate obligated relationships.
i hate the people i actually do feel i fail to live up to. particularly when they're my age. particularly when they're related.
i hate how i tend to take the easy road out and just avoid situations instead of face them.
i hate people who don't even realise how rude they are, and just see themselves as victims, so you can't even reason with them to begin with.
i hate people who live a lie and just pretend that things are alright.
i hate having it pointed out how not special i really am.
i really hate having it pointed out how not special i am.
i hate how much easier it is to wallow in despair than it is to snap out of it.

if i didn't have a huge fear of things even touching my wrists due to the artillaries and tendons there, i could almost ponder slashing my wrists right now. seriously. alas, the same thing that keeps me from becoming a heroin addict keeps me from attempting suicide quite yet. pyromania has crossed my mind, but then i'm just a nut job.

jodi said that she once read a post commenting on the fact that you never have three bad days in a row. i don't usually have bad days, period. i'm usually too easily amused. this week, i don't know what's wrong with me. but it really isn't much fun.

i need to go somewhere.
after not seeing the royal tenenbaums last night (sold out!), jodi and i then proceeded to not find crescent beach, because my mind wasn't working well enough to remember the way. i only wish i had a good reason for that, but i don't. just tired and depressed. still, good conversation was had: obsessions, neuroses, fandoms, all the fun stuff.

at any rate. being the good friend that i am, while she went off to victoria today, i couldn't help it and went and saw the royal tenenbaums meself. i haven't seen a movie alone in a long while, and hey, it's cheaper. had the joy of watching the snobbiest of artsy snobs trying to avoid breathing the same air as your average joe who'd heard that it's supposed to be a good film. and i mean really snobby. they even had that accent. not the accent you get from being from another country or speaking another language, the "i really am so much better than you could ever be, so stop even trying" accent. but i was quite impressed with how full the theatre was. when we saw waking life at the same theatre, there was only one other person there. today the theatre was packed, even at the noon show.

regarding the movie, however. wonderful. i'm not entirely sure whether i like it more than rushmore, but all their films have become better with each watching. even so, i loved it. as always, the script only gets better when you stop to think about it. for the sake of avoiding spoilers, i won't say too much. i couldn't see richie without picturing his child counterpart, however, which made him all the poorer. luke wilson's such the tortured individual. and i seem to be in owen wilson/ben stiller mode now. prolly more owen wilson. thank you mr mulder for zoolander. hansel. so hot right now. and matt is right - "needle in the hay" is very well-used. i was very impressed. and suitably shocked and horrified. gasped and everything. and the peanuts' song worked as well. but enough about music.

there was a family that sat beside me during the film. the youngest girl couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years old, and she asked her mom questions throughout the film ("why is he taking that cigarette from her?" *). when it finished, she stood up and announced that she really liked the movie - "what was it called again?" "the royal tenenbaums." "right. i really liked the royal tenenbaums!" i'm not entirely sure if i'd have brought a kid that young to that movie, but that girl impressed me. at least she has taste.

and the unit publicist for the film was a "frances fiore". how amusing is that?

* actually, maybe it was just because i had kids around me, but i was surprised that he smoked it. most movies, the character would have given up smoking. but of course, in this movie, more start. really, it only seems proper.
i'm watching harry potter at the moment. i know i said i'd never see it, but if i'm seeing a bootlegged copy for free while i work on other things, i don't feel too terrible. but i must say, i'm really none too impressed. although alan rickman is always wonderful. still. i'm torn between watching the rest of the movie or popping zoolander back in.
i absolutely adore sarah's new layout. love the green. and amelie's adorable. i really do need to see that movie. maybe tomorrow. hope it hasn't been too long that it's been up however, because, well, i've sucked at keeping up with the online world of late. still. lovely layout. {g}

Saturday, December 29, 2001

before i forget yet another time. my sister and i were commenting that none of us got any books or music this year, but i lied. i did get one cd. a very big thank you to kymberlie, my secret santa, for yet more music! a girl can never have too much.
i could become extremely snarky and nasty and vindictive at the moment. but for some reason i just don't care enough to pull it off convincingly enough. that's the thing. yes, there are times that i avoid dealing with things or mentioning them because i just really don't know how to deal with them. but more often than not, i just don't see the point in bothering. i don't know if this is a fault of my own, or of those who disagree with me.

i ended up at the doctor's clinic today. after a three hour wait (!!) spent wandering along the dykes with catherine and her puppies, got in, got a doctor i'd never met before - and she was a woman! which is nice, because i rarely deal with female doctors. this one, sue, was really friendly. answered even more than i asked which is impressive, trust me. but if this woman had a clinic of her own and wasn't just filling in for doctors on holiday, i'd make her my family doctor. but enough pointless chatter.

as i was heading to the door after everything, i saw michelle, my best friend through elementary school sitting there reading Fellowship of the Ring. i changed schools in grade 6, and we tried to rekindle a friendship when we ended up in the same high school in grade 11, but it just didn't fly so we gave up. saw her a few times at SFU over the years, but she's off working and getting her CGA these days. but i stopped and talked to her for a few minutes. found out how her sisters are doing as well (we all sort of grew up together) and michelle mentioned how her littlest sister, diana, is working for an ad agency, and is most likely getting married in the next year. this, the girl who we'd try to ditch half the time, try to impress with "magic" the other half (being older sisters can be fun sometimes). and erica, the middle child, just returned from touring europe for three months. michelle's nearly moved in with her current boyfriend and is looking at buying a place with him soon.

i just stood there, unable to even imagine diana and erica, forever six and seven in my mind, even being out of high school yet. and once again was overwhelmed by how immature i really am compared to so many other people my age. these people have jobs, SOs, they've embraced the real world.... and i just spent the past day still wondering what degree to get, wishing that a review of LotR i'd just read hadn't written about dwarves, elves, hobbits, wizards et al with such disdain, pointing out for the idiots that they were entirely fictional as though it was a point against the film. (i'm still waiting for those dragons and elves to make their presence known.) i still dream that i don't have to settle for a boring role in life, but i'm too much of an idiot to go out and do anything towards what i dream of doing. that's prolly why michelle and i couldn't make our friendship work. even then she was a lot more grounded than i could ever be.

still. nice seeing her again. she looks good these days.

Friday, December 28, 2001

bizarre. blogger was acting up some more and didn't actually show what i'd posted before.

i tend to take off the bug screen from my window for most of the year. i like sitting on my window sill half outside, and it's only when mosquitos become a pain that i give in an put up my protection. but at the moment the screen's leaning up against a shelf, propped up by all the rest of the crap in this room. i have a string of christmas lights that just happens to fall beside it, however, and now that they're turned on, there's the neatest pattern showing up on my wall, cutting through the green lights.

i really should go to sleep.
i am jhonen. don't even watch the show (we don't get it up here, afaik), but that's still cool. link stolen from nic. i'm also a humiliated squirrel, though i have no clue why, so we'll leave that be.

i finally have proper 'net access again! which means i can post again, as text-based posting seems to be down still. i sat there and made up a whole new persona to get a new account, and while usually i just hit any random buttons when juno asks for a profile (we only do it so that we can swipe the login info and get on sans ads), today i became elisa worstein. she's led a lonely life, and even though she's done a fair amount, is a well-off real estate agent, travelled a bit, she still feels somewhat incomplete. but she does have an interest in home decorating and cooking. i think she may have a cat, though i'm not entirely sure. it was fun, though, suddenly make her come alive through the choices i made alone. oh, and she has many lace doilies. which is such a funny word. doily. who made that up?

but yes. posted some stuff in scribble, but it's all one big pointless ramble anyways. i hope everyone had a good christmas. i feel a little bad for never having gotten any cards in the mail, and i'm not sure if it's too late now or not. or if i really care at this point. i'm having a very apathetic day. i think i may go watch moulin rouge, now that i have a dub of it. it's such a horrible movie. at the same time, it's so much fun. but simultaneously wretched. i have a severe love-hate relationship with baz luhrman. it's not fair that he dragged ewan into this.

oh! speaking of actors of whom i own cardboard cutouts of!

i woke up this morning, read for awhile, and finally decided that the time had come to leave my bedroom. so i opened up the door and right there staring me in the face was a funny-looking sort. made me jump, and once i realised that it was tim allen, i jumped again. i just stood there staring at it until rebecca poked her head out her door and asked me if it frightened me too. sharon had apparently come by last night around 2AM with this cardboard standup that she'd lifted from silvercity last night and gotten my mom to tape it in front of her door. freaked rebecca out, so she decided to share the fun with me. we went and taped him up outside daniel's door before we left this morning. apparently one of our cats is forever scared of mr allen. i don't blame her. at least obi-wan has company now, though. now if only i could get around to getting me some hobbits. i do need me a pippin.

i love them inkpen girls.

Tuesday, December 25, 2001

i like writing icq messages to daniel's friends, pretending i'm him. especially when i'm sending them flowers. aww! {g}
just to annoy daniel, i'll post one more thing on his computer. because it know he's so concerned with going to bed.

rebecca and i went christmas shopping today. much fun was had. many gifts bought at the dollar store. jasmin would be so proud. she came from germany, where they apparently don't have these wonderful inventions. when she discovered them, she was in heaven. "i could buy presents for all my friends here, and they'd think that i actually spent lots of money on them!" she had some weird standards. at any rate. dollar stores are perfect for christmas gifts - where else can you find "Magic Harry" dolls or "Bug World" toys, that at first, second, even third glance, really look like the real thing? especially the magic harry dolls. there was a not-hagrid with A Dragon, a not-harry, everything. they were my personal favourite.

we eventually made our way to chapters, though, trying to find a gift for my dad. wandered around, not knowing what to get, i jumped one guy, asking him what the best book he'd read recently was. without even looking at me, answering immediately, "this winston churchill biography. probably not what you'd like, but it was really quite well written!" rebecca and i looked at each other. it was perfect. so he has no clue how much we helped him. and then we met scott, the poor chap working there on christmas eve. i think he was glad to find some sort of kindred spirits in us. at least, we were in weird, chatty moods, as we often are while shopping. so after he helped us out for awhile, he kept coming back to us as we browsed through the fantasy sections, trying to find books for other people. ended up suggesting books to him, getting excited while chatting about neil gaiman, douglas adams (did you know that terry jones is helping get the last douglas adams book published? apparently for sometime next summer, if scott's to be trusted. i did not know that.), exclaiming over random crap that we (and when i say "we" i mean "i" *) found... it was fun. especially when a woman came buy asking him where she could find the "Tolstein" books - "you know, the hobbit stuff?" he nicely pointed her in the right direction, and then commented to us that he would never ever personally help anyone who asked for "tolstein" books. and i told him off for being a snobby geek, giving all us happy, friendly geeks a bad name. he almost looked apologetic. almost! but not quite. {g} he so obviously just wanted to leave work. so when we were parting with our $56 of hard earned cash, we kindly mentioned to the cashier that scott was very nice, very helpful, and quite delirious, and really should be sent home. the dude just sorta smiled at me. i don't think he believed us. random geek bonding can be so much fun.

* [daniel comments, "you're very original sarah, and by 'original' i mean 'you have absolutely no originality whatsoever'!" aw. he doesn't realise that i still have his christmas gift in my room. and he'd love it. dollar store madness!]

jodi can be aragorn, i get to prance. {g}

(although, hmm. if i said i liked mushrooms instead of lembas, i'd get to be frodo, so it seems that i can either be vaguely characterless or forever concerned. HAH!)
wow. listed as number two for searches for legolas & boromir slash. whatever did i do to deserve this? it's quite amusing, though. and then i get a search for "sexy indian nosering" as well. i'm on a roll.

so much to write, but not in the mood. instead.

hope everyone has a merry christmas, or at least a semi-decent one. if you come by to visit, i'll have a candy cane with your name on it done up like a reindeer. with the googly eyes permanently stuck facing each other, so that your reindeer looks insane. or maybe it just drank too much rum and eggnog.

Monday, December 24, 2001

today i had the opportunity to run over not one but two small children. and yet i held back and floored the brake pedal rather than the gas. talk about christmas spirit!
ooh, but this is much much better. BRAD: the game.
Choose your own Hemingway Adventure

i only ever read The Sun Also Sets. it was full of notes my dad had left in there from his university days, which were mildly entertaining at times when you could tell he was getting bored of the story as well. i don't remember much of the book, except that overall it had a very orange feel to it. some day i'll read another hemingway novel, if only to see if the stereotype is right.
yahoo: nude trichy
yahoo: Rufus Wainright Nude
google: sfu girls nude pictures
netscape: legolas slash

do we see a pattern here, or is it just me? i shouldn't have complained about sedate references the other day.
my wrist is killing me. i broke it bigtime when i was six, but i thought that when you're that young, things are supposed to heal well enough that they don't bother you in old age. because i'm positively decrepit, of course. i get to wear a tensor bandage which is fun, but it's just odd that it's hurting so bad. it's very unusual.

ah, holidays. people come home, people come to visit, people get into a cranky moods. i'd figure it was me if i managed to get wound up with other people as well, but....i don't. s'wonderful.

but i did make my own lip balm yesterday! went into a store looking to buy some, ended up finding a kit and making my own, which also means that i covered a bunch more christmas presents like that. a bunch of cookies and lip balm - what wonderful gifts this year! and jodi, daniel and i got to eat all the burnt cookies. mmm baby!

ended up going to the show last night afterall. saw P:ano and Secret Three performing. P:ano (doing an all-christmas show, much to catherine & patrick's chagrin) made me think of Belle & Sebastian crossed with the Moldy Peaches. very "post-rock". {g} Secret Three was good as well. more jazzy, again, christmassy, music that could be perfect as a movie soundtrack. and the drummer turned out to be one of my old TA's, which was just plain amusing. yay brady! totally not the sort of band i expected to see him in (i knew he was in one, didn't know what sort). but they played the peanuts "christmastime is here again" which made my night completely. it was a shame that all of us were practically falling asleep by then, and we left during the band's break.

got to meet one of ed's friends, rob. music director at the vancouver co-op radio station, very friendly guy, but he works at a Subway downtown, and mentioned how the people coming in make it worth working there. i asked who was the strangest one, and he told us about this homeless guy who happens to have a fair bit of money due to an inheritance, but because he's homeless, he really doesn't have any expenses. what he does is every winter, he goes down to mexico for a couple of months by catching a japanese flight from here to there (they have a stopover here before continuing south, and lot of people get off here). up here, he doesn't do too much, but he's a total internet geek, always carrying around papers and emails and whatnot, and he apparently maintains a few different sites. rob explained that the guy would disappear for a week every now and then because he'd go off to one of the suburbs where the library 'net time limit is two hours per day, rather than just one. but every winter he goes south, stays in a quaker community, is banned from the states for being a "terrorist" (he was caught by police down there with printed instructions for making a pipe bomb), so he has to take flights that don't stop there, but all this, and the guy's homeless. i was very impressed. living like that by choice, just because. i know a lot of people would think it's terrible and that he's not contributing whatsoever, but whatever. you can do things like that but still have merit in other ways, can't you?

and now i must go, because sleep beckons. although i do have the moulin rouge version of "roxanne" stuck in my head, which could make for some strange dreams.

Saturday, December 22, 2001

We Are Robots

i like robokopf.

cool link c/o arris.
this is zulu records, a very good music store downtown with all the good music, even if it is a little overpriced sometimes (scratch records tends to be cheaper). however, inside this place they have free pong! as in, an old table with a tv screen inserted inside, and knobs to move the paddles back and forth. and it's free. that was my best discovery of late, and i do intend to make good use of it - especially on windy rainy days when i just happen to be stranged along 4th downtown. it could happen!
guess what jodi, it's begun!

time for another search query post:
google: boromir slash - and i'm on page one! whoo!
google:lord rings fellowship listen to entire soundtrack - alright, i will.
yahoo: howl's moving castle stardust - that's just fun. must read that book now that i have time.
google: desi afghani women sexy photos - i'm a little sad that it's so uninteresting, really..
google: greek fisherman hat canada store - because they do exist.

and from my scribble:
google: how to cut hair - and they came twice in two days! unless it's just a bizarre coincidence..

i also get regular searches for jerk with a bomb, and i feel a little bad because they're not hugely known, and i have no info on them. but in case someone comes looking, here. it's not a lot, but it was the best bio i could find. they must have an official page, but i can't find it anywhere. so good luck, JwaB-searchers!
today, being the winter solstice (is that right? whatever the word is, shortest day of the year), there's a few light festivals going on downtown. and really, i'd love to see them. but here i sit, unable to find the energy to do a single thing, with my eyes feeling terribly heavy. i haven't even been up 9 hours yet. i really hope i get better soon.

despite inviting people out to a show i don't know a thing about, i may end up cancelling due to severe illness. i hope they have fun without me - like that would be too difficult.

at least the crazy green tea with tons of super healthy schtuff that i found yesterday tastes pretty good.
i want something exciting to happen.


preferably involving snow, magic, maybe some fairytale creatures like dragons and elves, lots of fruit, and life-altering events.

abu-jamal's death sentence has been thrown out. they're not giving him another trial, just demanding a different sentence. this is another one of those stories i have heard about for years, just in the background. i know that many believe he's innocent, and the protesting is against him being sentenced to death, that it's a racial issue, etc etc. what i don't know is what my actual opinion on the matter, because i have no clue what the actual facts are. but there's one comment in the article:

"We have a confession from the man who actually killed Faulkner," Grossman said. "It's outrageous that an innocent man can be on death row and that the confession of the real killer can be ignored."

if this is true... then i still don't care how can they not have another trial? it makes absolutely no sense to me. but like i said, i don't know anything about the actual situation. at least this way, when someone finally makes a movie out of abu-jamal's life (because you know it's going to happen) he'll prolly at least be able to get some of the royalties. or at least see who plays him. denzel washington perhaps? he seems to be in those serious man-against-the-system roles a lot. (again. like i'd really know...)

still. something i should read up on.

nothing's happened yet. no dragons, no elves. i guess i'll go make some tea.
thanks to ade, i'm once again wishing i could have seen these guys perform live. wouldn't it have been grand!
you know what the sad thing is? the german people were living here for three weeks. i spent nearly every day playing with the kids. i would sit there watching them playing, watching them with their mom, and think to meself, "gee that would make a perfect picture." i kept meaning to actually take photos, but somehow i had papers, exams, obligations, illnesses... i didn't take one picture of them. not a single one. i really wish i'd taken one shot, but at least i have it in my mind: astrid going through a workbook at the kitchen table with lisa on her lap, phillip beside her talking to her and simon poking his head up between them looking at the book as well. absolutely positively a picturesque moment. like i said, at least i remember it.

there was one shot i did try to take, but i couldn't get the focus to work properly - philipp and i were playing with his reflective notebook, and he was in my lap and suddenly it was the perfect framing of us grinning at our reflections. tried to make it translate onto the camera, but it was finicky and philipp got bored.

this is why i will have to go to germany at some point.
what a geek!!

i remember writing that message, too. that was before we even knew what newsgroups really were, and i remember jodi trying to explain them to me. i had email, but only through BBS's, and jodi was explaining where she got some weird (and i mean weird. ::cough::dean::cough::) penpals from, and offered to post something for me as well. so during the last few minutes of Mr Beebe's physics class when we were supposed to be working on labs, i scribbled that up for her to post for me. and i found it! wow. i don't even remember which BBS i got that email addy from, or if it's even still around. i miss BBSs.

i may have my turn at obsessively going through google archives now, rather than writing my letters. {g}
hey tavie! you're linked at boingboing!
oh, and hey, i get to be the penguin penguin too! {g}
regarding this:
Come on, Jackson even gave us a nice little jokey clue right near the beginning with a broken carrot gag.

and here i thought it was just me again. well, me and jodi, but then again, we're apparently the same person anyways. tavie, i noticed it too, commented to jodi about it even though i was being good at that point and not whispering every two seconds yet. i'm always too entranced by dragon eyes to see 'em as fiery vaginas (had my drawing-dragons stage, spent sermons every sunday drawing their faces for months just cuz i liked doing the eyes. and the talons on their feet. lots of bodiless dragons on my church papers. or maybe i really am a lesbian and that's why i love cat eyes? hmm... {g}), but you really have to wonder. is it us freaks who notice things that aren't even really there, or are they really there, just ignored by the rest of the world?

or maybe i should just stop analysing everything.

the problem with most of the fantasy fiction i've read is that it does tend to be a bit of a boys' club. it's just times, i suppose, the guys were the ones who got the adventures, that's just the way it's been. sorta touched on that before, actually. but when i was reading up about slash for my paper, that was one of the proposed reasons for the attraction of slash as well, that at least in the beginning, with two men, adventures could be had with the both of them, meaning they'd be together all the time, while the women were a bit more segregated from that side of life. but yeah. i'm still pumped that i got an A+ on that paper.

which just reminded me to check my marks. A, A, C+. shoulda dropped that course. i cannot have done that badly on the final. i must have lost bigtime marks for being 10 minutes late with it. argh. it coulda been such a great semester, too. ah well.

christmas comes in ......not to many days. (don't make me count. i'm SICK.) i have gifts for three people. oh, and umpteen parcels and cards to mail. i really don't feel like shopping, though. nor do i feel like going out this weekend, but i somehow feel obliged to. even if it is canned hamm performing (should that be the show of choice).

i met another CJSF dj last night. derek. he had a bit of a scottish accent. talked to him for about twenty minutes, and really, i just wanted to keep hearing his accent. alas, he has a girlfriend. he'll be there next week though, with holiday show reshuffling. jodi suggested asking him to read a phone book. knowing me, i might.

i have some emails to write now. don't feel like it, but i'm overdue on 'em anyways.

Friday, December 21, 2001

i'm gonna be playing a bad country song, only because he mentions the RCMP, and therefore must be canadian, and i'm lacking on my cancon at the moment. i still may play Snowbird. it's wintery...isn't it? i don't even know. ai yi yi...
oh, heartbreak! still gathering christmas music, and i found a wonderful veggietales song, and if it didn't descend into madness and chaos that you would only understand if you've seen any silly songs with larry, it would be perfect. larry waits for santa, but first comes a bank robber, a viking, and an IRS man. and then when santa comes, there's a fight over whose costume it is, the end. if it weren't for the end, i'd love to play it.

regardless of whether you're christian or not, veggietales movies are wonderful things.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

quick notes:

just for clarification, the eyes comment had nothing to do with legolas. and another reason why i'd choose him is his ability to walk above the snow, and traipse lightly through the woods. sounds silly, but there's a history to my reasoning, and maybe someday i'll bore you with it.

bid farewell to those german folk today. drove them down to Boeing in washington, played with lisa (the baby) for nearly an hour before deciding to move on, and it wasn't until i was saying goodbye that i realised just how attached to astrid i'd really become. well, lisa, simon & phillip as well, but particularly astrid, just because i actually did have a lot of good conversations with her. as i drove home, i was terribly sad, but i'm still not sure if it was more because i know i'm really going to miss them, or because i felt as though i'd lost a golden opportunity to fly away today. at least i know that leaving without plans is one of my biggest desires, and when i thought i'd missed it today, i was heartbroken. oh, dramatics. hey, i was listening to the LotR soundtrack, it's nice and dramatic, it only encouraged me.

the postal outlet in blaine is by far a friendlier place than the one in mt baker. which is a shame, considering how much i thought i loved mt baker, simply because it's such a pretty mountain....

saw ali today. meh. will smith is good. but i didn't know much about muhammed ali going in, and i have no clue what i really learned about him leaving the theatre. except that he was great at mouthing off. and i didn't know he was friends with malcolm x. and that at most fights, there was always a pivotal moment when he'd suddenly spring into action and win the match. oh, and that he had occassional bouts of time slowing down around him, i suppose so he'd remember those key moments. thank god for films like these, that'll tell you what really happened. and yay, radio station connections for free sneak previews!

(seriously, it was a decent film, i suppose. but going from the fantasy land of tolkien straight into a pseudo documentary the next day was odd. and between the two, i want to see tolkien again. and again. and again and again.)

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

that previous entry has a lot of paragraphs starting with either "oh" or "and". ah well. may as well keep it up.

and i found out i ended with an A in my women studies class. which means that i must've gotten an A+ on the final papers, which included the slash one. awesome. {g}

how on earth am i supposed to get even the slightest bit excited over star wars ep II in a few months when i already didn't have higher hopes than a good laugh for it? Lord of the Rings managed to actually be as good as everyone was hoping, i think. there were parts of the book taken out, it sorta overlapped into the second book (i'd recommend reading at least the first chapter or two before seeing the movie if you haven't yet), and i was a little disappointed that one part that made me realise how much i was loving the books was shifted somewhat in the movie. but the casting's wonderful. and the special effects are good, even if there are semi-cheesy parts, overall, i ain't complaining. and i even laughed at the slapstick parts, rather than rolling my eyes. and i actually jumped in the scary parts. and even gasped once. i don't usually do that.

Lord of the Rings can kick star wars' ass any day.

and a few minor points that won't give away any plot, cuz i know half the people have read it, half are prolly going to see the movie despite not reading it. (actually, jodi and i went with sharon, who hadn't read the books, and she enjoyed it just as much. was disappointed that it didn't get to the end, but she was just as into it as we were. and she had some of the best snarky lines, too. we were good... i held off until over halfway through before i had to give in, because hey, it's my nature. makes the movie all the more fun! though i started to feel a little guilty towards the end... i think there should be separate theatres for the people who're going to comment all the way through, so we don't disturb the rest. because there's no way that we're not going to do it, and it doesn't mean we don't like the movie either. we'd just have a huge snark-fest then. it'd be wonderful. but enough rambling), just a few things that stood out:

  • no real mention of animosity between the dwarves and elves. not a bad thing, and it would have been something else to explain, i suppose, but just noticed.

  • overall, explanations in the narratives were done well indeed. didn't feel like a lecture on the histories of middle earth at all. i had to comment on it to jodi a few times.

  • i didn't remember that christopher lee was in it. and him and ian mckellen make far better foes than ian mckellan and patrick stewart. far better. and christopher lee rocks, period. as does IM, i think. haven't seen him in too much, but i've decided that he's cool.

  • elijah wood is not freaky looking, jodi. and he's a great frodo. not that that was ever in dispute.

  • elves have pillowcases?? {g}

  • you could see slash in the book, i'll admit, but i tried not to see it. in the movie, another pairing was kindly pointed out that i didn't really see until one shot - not even the death scene! - made me burst out laughing. it's all her fault.

  • "heil, hitler!" (if you're really curious, ask me. it's sharon's fault.)

  • pippin is awesome i loved him and merry. and even if sam isn't how i imagined him, that's alright. i can forgive him.

  • black riders. the sounds they made. ::shivers wonderfully::

  • cate blanchett has a very cool voice.

  • boromir, played by Sharpe, cutting his finger on the broken sword. "It's sharp!" tee hee! {g}

  • and i am reminded how great ian holm is. but that's common knowledge at this point, isn't it?

  • and that's all that i remember at this point. like i said, some things were edited or changed, but i think it was well done for the most part. and considering that for a 3 hour 7 minute movie, i managed to sit through all of it without being nearly as fidgety as i can be, or having to leave to blow my nose in order to breathe, and being completely enthralled the entire time, that's amazing. best movie that i've seen this year? definately this one. it's reviving the fantasy geek in me, and i'm lovin' it!

    oh, and having sharon with us was great - before the movie started, while we were in line, she tried to start a game of telephone, after she'd gone through the line questioning everyone reading whether they were reading "The Books" or something else (only one guy was, also the only guy who was game for Telephone). and then she went and made friends with people further down to play strip crazy eights with 'em. geek fests rock - most people are so nice. {g}

    oh, and if i was going to be a character, at least from the film, i think i'd go with legolas. i don't really know why, but i ended up adoring him by the end of the movie. maybe because he's an elf. maybe because his weapon of choice is bow & arrow. maybe it's his pretty hair. ::shrugs::

    on an almost unrelated note, i've decided that the eyes definately do it for me. never been absolutely certain, and whenever you have those stupid quizzes "what feature do you first notice/are you most attracted to/whatever?", i'd always stick something random in there. but no. it's the eyes.

    and cheese is funny! {g}

    Tuesday, December 18, 2001

    a vaguely new layout, a few new links (ade has a blog!), nothing that special. my head feels like it may explode.
    for all intents and purposes, particularly in email, i have died. or i at least took a prolonged holiday. just in case anyone reading this was expecting an email from me, but most people who are don't even read this. ah well. i'm sicker than i've been in a long time (i woke up in pain from every joint in my body last night, and i'm actually having severe dizzy spells today. it's really kinda fun! {g}), the german folks leave within a day, and i have no proper internet connection. these are my excuses, it would be nice of you to forgive me.

    i really like driving through jodi's neighbourhood during december. where i live, we have a lot of immigrants and new canadians, most of whom don't necessarily know or get into typical north american traditions, which is fine, but it means that there really aren't a lot of christmas lights up. of the 10 houses in our cul-de-sac, only 5 of them have lights. around jodi's place, however, nearly all the houses have lights up, and it's just beautiful to drive by at night. even looking across the valley, there's entire streets that i can see with christmas lights glowing. i just wish more people thought that christmas lights are a good idea over here. but then again, we only had three kids come around for hallowe'en, and we're right next door to the elementary school. so really, i'm expecting far too much. i'll just go drive around the older neighbourhoods of coquitlam, i suppose.

    Monday, December 17, 2001

    blogger was down.

    my dad's watching titanic right now. and that's all i have to say about that.

    Saturday, December 15, 2001

    i believe i've sprained my right index finger - it's just gotten worse and worse as the day went on. my concern is how i'll be able to mix gingerbread properly tomorrow morning.

    it's a hard knock life.
    best moment today: having sebby tell me that it was really nice having me back at the salesite. and mean it. and have darren announce that we don't get along anymore. and mean the exact opposite. {g} i've missed the yard guys. they're absolute goofs, but they actually made me feel glad to be there. if kim's not there next sale, though, i don't know if i'll work it. we'll have to see.

    and if i were breast-feeding right now, my milk would be full of nutrients. had the breastfeeding tea out of curiousity. s'not bad, really.

    Friday, December 14, 2001

    i really do love dreams. {g}
    listening to king missile playing "Jesus was way cool." every time i hear this line...

    if you were blind, or lame, you just went to jesus, and he'd put his hands on you, and you'd be healed.

    ...i have images in my head of geeks and losers rushing to jesus for redemption, rather than cripples. i really wonder if that meaning crossed KM's mind when they chose the word "lame."

    he walked on the water, and he swam on the land. jesus was way cool.

    Thursday, December 13, 2001

    17 minutes until my one and only final. hurrah and huzzah! fortunately i was joined by another student (mr professional iranian instrument player) so we studied and commiserated together - quite nice and helpful, really. but i told him how i was dreading my life tomorrow. he told me how he was dreading his tomorrow as well - he's flying out to Washington DC to perform at the opening of some museum, he doesn't even know what, but he's sick as a dog and wishes he could just go home and sleep. honestly, i'd gladly trade shoes with him. but it's funny how things always seem better when it's not your lot.

    still. if you're around Washington DC and don't have anything better to do and know about some big ol' museum opening tomorrow, go check him out. i'd mention his name if i could remember it, but i can't offhand. asmir! yes. that's it. asmir...kouscheff or something like that? but really good music, and he's playing with some phenomenal violist that i was berated for not knowing. so he must be good...

    people. {g}
    i'm not having a very good day. and what makes it worse is that it's entirely my fault. trevor was right, i think way too much. and too much thinking leads to not enough sleep and no appetite, so no eating. but i'm really, really not wanting to work at ritchie bros tomorrow. it's just two days, i can manage it...but my mind is running through as many horrors relating to it as possible. i don't think i'll be bounding with glee to work the february sale. i just wish i'd had my final even yesterday, because my dread of RB is making it nearly impossible to focus, let alone care. i'm too busy worrying about tomorrow to deal with today. needless to say, i will be so happy come friday night.

    there's random piano players in any mall-like structure downtown. must be christmas. and waking up to philipp bounding into my room wearing a santa hat with a big bell on the end asking me if i'd read him a story was very nice. it was what finally made me get out of bed.

    Wednesday, December 12, 2001

    so i'm an obsessive paranoid freak. so what?

    in other news, i had a wonderful time today being nice and girly and gossipy with sharon, a girl who works up at the radio station that i was helping for a few hours. didn't feel like that long, we were too busy talking about anything and everything. it almost makes me miss working at the video store with dawn, because that's what we'd do much of the time. at least during slow times. but yes - much fun was had. i think it's good for the soul to have a general girl!fest every now and then. you get rid of so much tension, discuss anything on your mind, and it's all in all a good thing! sadly, i just never realised this when i was supposed to be doing it during my preteen and teenage years. so it seems i'm making up for it. especially this week, when i should be studying, not chatting. ah well. the world keeps turning.

    so many people i've met this summer semester that i would love to keep in touch with. (why do i keep thinking that we're just coming out of summer? what's wrong with me?) it would be nice if fate was on my side....
    downloading another doctored LotR image...

    me: i...don't know who they are.
    daniel: *snickersnicker* no, but they look funny, so you can laugh anyways. *snickersnicker*


    daniel: inDEED.

    but look! it's our hero! but this is my favourite.
    almost exactly, sarah. {g} except mine looks like he's up to bat, with a nice little pepsi logo up top. keep meaning to cut that out. and i haven't put him to bed yet, either. {g} i'm thinking of buying a fake beard to hook up to him, what with the next movie and all, but then i think about whether i like him bearded or not....

    me, my sister, and julie stole him from a playstation setup in the mall, and the best part about it was that no one did anything. the people in charge of making sure no one did away with them had just wandered to the other side of the booth, and we whisked in, flipped him on his side, and walked out of there as quickly as we could. and this is a busy mall - it's not like people didn't notice. everyone stopped and glanced at us, glanced at obi, but not one person said anything or tried to stop us. later we were told that if they lose the standups in the movie theatres, they often end up paying for them, as often they're rented from the distributors (at least up here, so reid says), so i felt a little bad that we'd probably costed the workers a bit of dough. but then again, if they weren't paying enough attention to notice us taking him, then they deserve it, don't they?

    s'just funny to see how well mob mentality works - even backwards. no one wanted to be the person to say anything, because if no one else was saying anything, than surely it must be fine!

    when we were back at the mall a week later they'd filled the hole with another jarjar standup. ::shudders::

    Tuesday, December 11, 2001

    i have some very nice christmas music playing, after a conversation with my sister yesterday. christmas music is so singable. every one has me singing (quietly) within seconds. not all of it's from her, but she gave me a few ideas. i'm going to have so much fun with my show next week. {g}
    Lord of the Onion Rings. link found at

    once again, i traipsed up to SFU with the intention of studying awhile at the women's centre before pre-recording my show this week (thursday 6-8 PST for those of you wanting reminders), and in the end, got absolutely no studying done. i did, however, have a lovely conversation with some person who was there as well. leah, i think her name was. we discussed the stupidness of some guys (because i'm certainly not trying to generalise here!), divorce, kids, school, fear of being attacked when you're alone (or my lack of it thereof), and adoption amongst other things. she had very strong opinions about everything, but it was still nice and interesting - i could've stayed there a lot longer if i hadn't had to leave to take over the radio station. i love meeting people at university, if only because you can dive right into deeper topics. not that you can't always with people off-campus, but usually it's a little more difficult. fear of offending, having to ride out the rest of the bustrip afterwards with them...not fun. but when i left we'd just starting ranting about the media, which granted is absolutely nothing new to me, but one of the people who'd just joined us was another communications student, and it'd have been nice to stick around. still. moral learned? if i'm going up to school to study, don't hang around a place where i can start up conversations with random strangers, as fun as it might be.

    Monday, December 10, 2001

    the following is a post of nothingness. as well as yesterday's posts.

    i have my first christmas gift officially finished. took all day long, which was a lot longer than i expected. first it was just a cd, then i had big ideas for the case, then i realised that the printer doesn't do colour these days, so i had to change things, but i spent the last while going crazy with pencil crayons (my brand spankin' new ones that i'd splurged on in september) while sitting in daniel's room discussing snow and life in general. the boy impresses me so much sometimes. he's a complete nutcase most of the time, but then there's moments when you end up having a deep, serious conversation with him, and it's surprising how much of a brain he does have. at least, for more than just making you laugh. not that he's a complete dolt by any means normally. but it's just a side of him i rarely see - we're usually too busy making stupid jokes. it's funny how much friction and bitterness there can be in this house, but when it's just me and daniel, things are usually good. i think having the german people here is making things a lot more bearable as well. i really hope they stay for christmas. hopehopehope.

    i don't think the snow will last much longer.

    this morning, for the first time in awhile, i remembered a dream when i woke up. julie, a friend of mine, was nipped by a vulture (she couldn't get inside before it got her) and started to go senile, attacking other people outside as though she was a bird herself. i suppose it's like the whole werewolf deal. but after she was attacked, the vulture went away. or maybe its spirit joined hers, i'm not really sure. that was all i remembered waking up, coupled with a feeling of mild disturbance. i don't know why it was specifically a vulture, either.

    philipp has announced to me that i am his best friend. he's the 3 year old. and then he calls me "rebecca" half the time. i feel so loved.

    i really do have to make it to a mailbox tomorrow. i have things i promised to mail almost year ago sitting in my room. ai yi yi.

    i'm not feeling so freakish about things anymore. still, that was a nasty surprise to find in my email this morning, and i'm a-hoping things go well when i see him tomorrow.
    yes, i am definately not posting more quizzes. when i'm linked to as "someone who does more quizzes than me!", then it's time to stop. {g}

    although his post above that one about elijah wood made me laugh. i dunno how cool the guy is, but i do think he's grown into his looks, despite jodi's disagreement.

    ("the guy" being elijah wood, not nic the blogger. don't mean to sound disparaging about nic. {g})
    i hear tell that hannukah begins today. so to all those who celebrate it, a happy hannukah to you.

    also, i just realised one bonus about the situation i griped about in my last post: if i'm right, at least there's no automatic assumption that i'm a lesbian! wouldn't that be a first! maybe because i don't have the blonde hair right now, because i still have the "lesbian!glasses". guess i don't look quite so dyke-y if i'm not blonde.
    don't drink, don't smoke -- what do ya do?

    i actually meant to comment on steve's post about the dating issue and how our generation is handling it when i read it a few days back, just never got around to it. story of my life. i'm one of the many who go into panic!mode if the prospect of "a date" ever comes up. why? no fucking clue. maybe it's a fear to join the rest of the world, to move beyond what i'm used to. but i always felt like i was an odd one out, despite the fact that i could count up a ton of people in the same boat as me. after reading steve's post, i think he's got something. it does seem to be a generational (geek) thing, and it'll certainly be interesting to see if we get over it. and why we feel like that in the first place. and if you do make a documentary, i would love to see it. or do research out on the west coast, if need be! {g}

    sadly, my freakiness about the whole deal is guaranteed to make me misinterpret invitations, too. wouldn't it all be a bit easier to just avoid the situation in the first place? because avoidance is always the best solution. i don't know. for now, whenever i get an invite from someone suggesting going out when i think they're thinking a bit more of a date situation than i'd rather, i'm gonna get panic-stricken and avoid answering 'em until i absolutely have to. at which point i'll make some lame excuse to get out of it - mark my words. because quite obviously, i have no desire to be more than friends with, well, anyone actually.

    such a freak.
    ewan now gazes wistfully across my room. as if it wasn't enough have him standing guard, ready for action outside my doorway.* and looking intensely towards whoever uses the computer from a v-shaped space. yeah, i think i do have an official favourite actor. many i like others a lot as well, but one that i like more than the rest.

    * it has crossed my mind that we may have to try to do away with yet another standup after the next movie, just for the fun of it. besides - a person always need another star wars standup!

    Saturday, December 08, 2001


    CJSF (the sfu radio station, my station now, i guess) has been trying to get an FM license for a looooooong time - since they began in the '70s. there were always issues - money, time, devotion, etc, but this year they finally got the license approved, but they had a find a frequency on the FM dial because both CJSF and a first nations station wanted the same one. so we found another one, and just got the news that the first nations station is going for a different one than ours, which means that soon we will be on the air at 90.1! everyone thought that it would still be awhile, but the CRTC just let us know that they're moving on it "as quickly as possible", so things could be up and running within a few weeks!

    and y'know what the best thing is about all of this? ubc's CITR, the only uni station on FM at the moment is pretty much impossible to reach in my area, but CJSF is going to be broadcasting more towards the valley, ie, me, so i'll actually be able to hear CJSF at home as well.

    i'm far more excited about this news than i'd expect. it's so exciting. as someone wrote down on the suggestions-for-taglines board in the booth, we'll soon be "CJSF 90.1 - aiming for FM since 1970!"

    now if only someone would revamp the CJSF page... maybe update it a little... only i don't know who's in charge of that sort of thing and wouldn't want to step on toes, not like my abilities are that great...
    (i am not looking for compliments of any sort with this post, i'm just thinking out loud. and explaining my fascination with the sites. i already know i'm wonderful. riiiiiight. {g})

    "If you ask a kindergarten class how many of them are artists, they'll all raise their hands. Ask the same question of 6th graders, and maybe one third will respond. Ask high school grads, and few will admit to it."
    - borrowed from 1000 journals.

    sadly, this is true, at least in my life. fear of just not being good enough and of mockery is my problem, so i don't even try starting. perverse perfectionism, like i wrote awhile back. and that was always the person i didn't want to be - i liked considering meself an artist when i was younger, but things change. when i started my scribble two summers ago, it took me awhile to actually be able to post in it. i loved the idea of online journals, but i have never considered meself a writer by any means. that was up to jodi and rebecca. i'm just an appreciator. it was natural instinct to set my scribble on "private" for awhile until someone called me on it. and now i'm told i post too much (no more quizzes. it's a promise, because i'm sick of them too.), and some say i'm just not as good as i once was. which really, i can only take as a compliment considering that i never thought my writing was wonderful before. {g} at any rate. long story short, a year ago, i'd never have considered writing a novel. wouldn't even touch short stories. but now i still do intend to write it. i just moved my month to december, as november was crazybusy with school and life in general. and finding all these other artistic sites, on the one hand i still have the awe and amazement at some of the talent and innovation and ideas, i actually do feel like doing something of my own as well, instead of just gawking in amazement.

    so. with that long rambly explanation aside, more sites inspiring me to be creative and artsy and just generally impressed with people out there. and even better, most actually ask you to take part as well! i'll let them explain themselves. they're so much better at it than i:

    NERVOUS Industries
    1000 journals
    20 things
    photo booth chronicles
    amber told me about the santa setup at the mall by her place: while the kids are distracted watching santa, the grownups have a quick interview with the photographer, getting the kids' names, pets, siblings' names, little trivial things, etc, and through a little earphone setup, the photographer lets santa know the details when he's with the kids. i'm undecided as to whether that's terribly cool or absolutely evil. it reifies the santa myth all the more, but at the same time, if you were five and santa started asking about your pets and your favourite toys, wouldn't you be in heaven?

    christmas is an interesting time these days.
    proofreading anything is a good idea. like papers. but especially when it's being posted publicly. is "publicly" a word? i'm not if that's how you really spell it...
    for jodi in particular, but actually an interesting article, salon raves about sex in buffy-world. my resolve not to watch is slowly weakening. this saddens me. she got me with H:LotS, and she's doing it again. i may have to withold her christmas gift this year as penalty. HAH!
    link c/o madorangefools.

    Friday, December 07, 2001

    i'm confused. i've heard so many people complaining about how tough it is to get through the first ~150 pages of the Fellowship of the Ring. but...i haven't had any problem whatsoever! in fact, i've been loving it terribly and kicking meself for never trying to read the LotR trilogy after being bored to tears with the Hobbit. i keep wondering if i'm reading the right book, if what i'm reading isn't really the right book, just some sort of imposter. maybe it's because it's an old edition and the pages are larger, but even from the beginning, i've been interested. like the history of the gollum. the gollum was why i read the Hobbit - i knew that he had a thing for riddles, and i wanted to reach that part. i read up to the gollum, then gave up. i think my bookmark is still in the book downstairs. but who he was before and how be became what he was? i actually had a grin on my face because i was so pleased with that part.

    lame? hell yeah. but i haven't read fantasy like this in awhile, and i'm loving it. maybe i've just read fantasy stories that are far drier and gotten through them, so this is like chocolate compared to the others. except that i'm not really in the mood for chocolate. it's the strawberry bubble tea, that's what it is. shush, i'm allowed my horrible metaphors at this time of night.

    at any rate. i just had to share this one part: just before it's revealed whether the man really is Strider. i hadn't even realised how pulled into the book i was, but actually did tense up, and breathed a quick sigh of relief afterwards. and then i just had to let out a mini squeal of delight (it's late, i'm the only one by the fire, i'm allowed to be freaky), because as far as i can recall, i've never felt that caught up in a book. at least, not in the last five years.

    if only someone had told me how much better the LotR books were before i read the Hobbit, i might not feel like i'd missed out on so much right now.
    i'm sure i'm sorry, but this is my last apology. don't take it personally, i've just been apologising too much lately. doesn't do wonders for the self-esteem, so it's gotta go awhile until i get cockier and stop doing the things that i'm apologising for in the first place (namely, getting flustered and not being able to keep talking when i should be on-air). that's my new goal - to be able to talk when i have to. and actually be prepared even when i think i am. and stop getting flustered, because that's the main thing. i was very glad when emily (spoken word gal) started doing an orientation tonight, because she unplugged the main speaker inside the station so everyone'd hear each other - at least i knew they weren't listening, and they were the only ones that mattered at the time, considered that i'd have to face them when i got out of the booth. emily particularly - i just end up feeling like a complete fuck-up when i end up garbling my words on air when i am doing spoken word segments. i hate having to justify meself, be it on air or in person. i'm just not good at that sort of thing.

    so no more apologies. i'm awesome. and if i stop apologising for stupid little things which make me all the more unsure, and just repeat that to meself instead, i'll do much better. i mean, hey. i'm a banana! {g}
    i wasn't going to post this, except that the image is just too cute. aww..

    What Cat Are You?

    so of course i have to post this one. because i'm a banana. that just demands to be posted, does it not?

    Strawberry: 30/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 60/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 5/100

    What Fruit Are You?
    good lord. search referral again!
    Google Search: spike catches a cold buffy sneezing

    well i hope they found something of interest, cuz I DON'T EVEN WATCH THE SHOW!!! {g}
    here is some discussion about what i was talking about before, if you're interested.

    there's also a link to rupert sheldrake's page, which has a number of interesting experiments he's done, as well as ones to do yourself. very interesting.
    how's that for coincidence? i found the OED link while doing research over the weekend, just finally posted it yesterday. and now i'm reading boingboing and they posted the link yesterday as well. beat me to it, too. i'm really starting to wonder about that whole idea of a collective unconscience in terms of what was mentioned in Waking Life.

    there was a story told in the movie (i have no clue if it's really true or not, but i scribbled down names to look up later to find out. and i'm writing this from memory, so if i'm off a little, i apologise. but it's the general gist.) about an author who wrote a book, and a few months later was at a party and met a girl with the same name as his protagonist, and as he spoke to her, she told him about experiences that he'd written into his book. later he met her b/f, again, same name as the one he'd written, same major experiences as he'd written. he had never met these people before, had no clue that they were real. and vice versa. but he'd described their lives perfectly in a book that he thought was fiction. somehow after the experiences had been had, the memories were just floating to be picked up on by anyone else in the world.

    there was another part, talking about a study where people were given crossword puzzles to complete a day later than they'd been published in the papers, and found that they could complete them quicker and with fewer mistakes than if they'd been doing that day's puzzle. the hypothesis was the same as above - by the next day, the answers were floating around in the collective unconscience, and the people working on the puzzles picked up on them.

    at any rate. fascinating movie - i highly recommend it, but only if you're in a thinking mood. you'll be lost, otherwise. and apparently, after flipping through the discussion forums, the animators hid a lot in the movie. i really do want to see it again.

    (hah! the page took forever to load, but right there at the bottom, "QUESTION OF THE DAY: What role does coincidence play in life's path?" that's just plain amusing. {g})
    i've just spent nearly two hours trying to catch up on all the blogs that i avoided while i was working on my papers. only blogs. my excuse is that i missed a bunch of days, not that i read too many of 'em. that's the ticket. at any rate. so many things i'd comment on, except that it's been five days, which is a long time online. there's the stupidness of time again. a letter from australia in five days is quick! a day before commenting on what someone posts, LOOOOOOONG time. i've said it before, time should be abolished. but then what on earth would we do? we have this need to count, as though it makes us more knowledgeable about our world. counting made-up increments of time, people, money, days until christmas (can someone explain to me why one of the chocolates in my advent calendar was a fish? how's that christmassy?), made-up values on schlock that we've written, online quizzes.... stupid stupid stupid.

    i should be organising what i'm doing tonight. dare i play tori's version of Bonnie & Clyde 97 today? that song seriously creeps me out - i couldn't even listen to all of it when jodi brought it over. the only song i've flipped through for a reason other than either boredom or too much anticipation for what the next song might be. actually... hm. i don't know. suggestions, either about that, or any other brilliant song? (preferably canadian - damn that cancon!) i'd truly appreciate it.

    what a rambly post. i'm sure i'm sorry. but you'll never know for sure, will you. {eg}
    And the verdict is...
    "You are more interesting than your weblog!"

    It doesn't necessarily mean that your weblog is boring. You just enjoy talking a lot more than writing. You have a busy social love because your friends love having you around. They just can't get enough of you. You might be wishing that you could spend more time online, but you really shouldn't. You're already right where you belong.

    Are you as interesting as your blog?

    i really do think that these online tests are starting to get out of control. were there always this many out there, and i just never noticed them before?

    Thursday, December 06, 2001

    i think i'm gonna come up here regularly after-hours and do a show. it's great! don't have to worry about the cancon regulations, which while cancon is good thing i suppose, it does mean that i don't have to play it, and i can take whatever music suits my fancy. and it's just sorta fun being here alone. the sad thing is that i know no one is listening, but hey, once there's an actual FM frequency, that'll prolly change.

    the one sad thing about playing with so much music is that you don't get to dwell on it quite so much. although they do have a burner here, so i really should bring in a spindle, burn fifty cds or so, because there's so much good stuff here.

    and the max nagl cd is awesome. totally works as Music to Read Gorey By.
    now's my turn. well, after this song. whee! {g}

    if you didn't already know (because i didn't, until coming across a reading in one of my sociology courses a few years ago, yes, i'm that oblivious to the world around me sometimes), today's the day that 14 women were killed at the École Polytechnique in montreal because the killer considered them to be feminists, who he blamed for his hardships in life. so today is Working to End Violence Against Women day. (i'm not sure if that's the official name, or just the name that's been given here at the radio station, but it works.) at the moment i'm at school because i'm trying to figure out what to do for my show tonight, it being a special day of programming in honour of the day. and i'm finding way too much of interest, with no real idea how to throw it all together. but i have 15 hours, so i'm not too worried. {g} but just thought i'd share the news, in case you didn't know.

    i'm also wondering whether to talk about SF and utopias or not, as a method for social change, seeing as that's what it is. how well do i trust my grasp on the topic, that's the question. at any rate.

    pounding techno music is really not what i wanted to be listening to right now. it's fun, but it's distracting. stupid people...
    well at least he's friendly. him and the guy doing the last show offered me a joint, "don't want to seem anti-social or anything.." well isn't that nice of them. (that's not written snarkily, so don't see it as such.)
    damn. don't people realise that the world revolves around me? you're not supposed to come planning to play music when i'm already gonna do it! and when i'm nice and say, "well, whatever {g}," you should realise that you're up for the wrath of satan, at least in my mind! here's hoping he's not around for too long. and that he has good taste, although i'm concerned...
    or perhaps not? we'll see.
    making up for last night, i am taking over the station in about 5 minutes. dunno for how long, but i've found some cool stuff, and i have a bunch of research to do, so excitement reigns! so have a listen. or not. i don't mind. see, it's like a blizzard outside again. and that's really all i need. {g}

    oh, and an early happy st nicklaus {sp} day, if you're into that. i was trying to have a nap earlier when a little head poked into my room and simon reminded me that i need to put out my shoe so that st nicklaus would come by and fill it. aww.. yay 6 year olds. {g}

    I am a Lobster Telephone.

    For nine potatoes have my multi-throttled keys subdued the nice leaves of strangers. Sprays of wild satin guacamole enters my document. I relish four mushroom deals with metal.

    Do you bite the wax tadpole? The Utterly Surreal Test

    [If I were an online test, I would be The Internet-Addict Test]

    I'm The Internet-Addict Test!

    I love in-jokes, especially if they help highlight the marvellously geeky cultural differences between my internet clique and the rest of the world.

    Click here to find out which test you are!

    If I were a work of art, I would be Salvador Dali's Persistence of Memory.

    I am a surreal landscape composed of several disjointed and bizarre components. I like to keep an eye on the time, although the very concept is fluid for me. People are never sure what they are seeing when they look at me.

    any hardcore SF geeks out here full of random lit factoids? OED wants your help! sadly, i don't have a mind for particulars. but my sister can prolly perform the entire SW trilogy perfectly quoting almost every line verbatim!
    someone came to my page yesterday looking for Power Rangers Slash. you people!
    i thought i'd be nice and post the long rambly journal entry at scribble. the place hosting my images is down for maintenance though, i believe, so i apologise for broken links. which means my header here is probably missing too. ah well.

    instead. there's a fellow at the gas station with a big afro. like, massive. and he doesn't do anything to make it like that, it just is. but you know what the best thing about it is? watching him walking along and watching the hair bob up and down as if it had a life of its own.
    some day i'm going to make a piece of art, prolly a painting (because hey, it could be fun), and title it "Something About a Miscarriage". i just like the title, that's why.

    and maybe i'll throw in some peanut butter into there as well.
    damn those mashed potato candies! bleah.
    el aborto (1932) or mi nana y yo (1937)? i really don't like either of them. and quite frankly, i don't like frida kahlo's art at all. but this is the last paper, and then i'm finished, and then i can sleep. sleep is good. which one is better for psychoanalysis then?

    Wednesday, December 05, 2001

    ewan doing vocals. writing about slash. thinking about SW, ST, and everything else. eating almond joys. eating round yellow things. writing about slash.

    too many fandom-related things just bombarded me at once. it was quite overwhelming when i realised it. and quite weird, too. i don't recommend it.

    Tuesday, December 04, 2001

    i'm slowly growing addicted to Kix cereal. never had it before, but astrid brought it up from their place in WA. the kids had chosen the cereal because it had Clifford on the box, but it wasn't sweet enough for them in the end. i, however, think it's perfect. dunno how nutritious it really is, but for a midnight snack as i write essays, it's pretty good. almost begins to rival Life cereal. almost.
    and in the spirit of procrastination, an update of weird referrals:

    Sloth Seven makeup photos - eh?
    jasmin & joe of linkin park - hah. you come looking for linkin park on my page? you must have been sorely disappointed.
    afghanistan & the pomegranate song - again. eh?
    trichy nude girls - and i tried to avoid those references for oh so long....
    starting boybands in vancouver - my favourite one of the bunch. {g}
    Irish femaile dancing costume - are those things anything like females? does that mean i have a typo somewhere in this mess of entries? doh.
    jacob's ladder ween - yes, it was a very good show. hope you enjoyed it too!

    and one from my scribble page:
    "blind as a bat" "without glasses" -lasik -laser. {g}
    i'm........... dreaming...... of a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite christmas!

    when's that hawksley christmas album coming out again?
    sarah linked to this tale from of all the crush tales i've ever heard, that one is simultaneously the sweetest and the saddest. sarah's story is pretty sweet as well, though - don't you love coincidences? both stories remind me of what i do miss about taking the bus to work in the mornings - picking a daily crush. for some trips, i was always with the same people, and for the most part, tragically, they were the business types that bored me to even look at them. but there were a few people i would keep my eye on when we ended up on the same bus.
    the one that i remember the most actually wasn't even a crush. at least not on my part. i was taking the bus home from new westminster, and this guy ended up sitting across from me in the back of the bus. wouldn't have caught my eye except for the fact that his profile made him look like a young tim bayliss, the aww-worthy character from Homicide. and just because i'd finished my book that day, i decided that i had every right to watch him and imagine that it was actually bayliss sitting there. and as you'd expect, the guy caught me watching him. usually i automatically drop my gaze, look elsewhere, pretend to be asleep, whathaveyou. but for some reason i was feeling cocky that day and decided that he couldn't intimidate me into looking away. so i smiled at him and he tentatively smiled back before i looked away with full confidence. and for the rest of the trip, i kept watching him read his book and listen to music, and he'd watch me when i looked away. it wasn't the creepy staring you can have, just a casual interested gaze that wasn't going to insult or weird out. we never actually spoke to each other except once, when i bid him farewell when the bus reached my stop. he did have a nice voice, i recall. and even if it makes me sound way too full of meself, i know i gave the guy a nice ego-boost that day. i'm flattered when i catch people watching me during busrides. if they're not creepy about it. i never did see him again. i didn't always catch the same bus, and i guess it wasn't his regular one either. it was nice having him brighten up one busride, though.

    it's the church of ted! found this when i tried to find an image of mr secor. it's probably horrific, but the description of Endsville begs you to watch it, doesn't it? {g}

    If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga.

    I enjoy good food, monopolising the world's energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people.

    I am played by Christopher Lee in The Man with the Golden Gun.

    Take the James Bond Villain Personality Test

    tim roth. oh yeah. {g}
    it's snowing nice and hard right now, although i fear that it's getting wetter and going to turn into rain soon. at the moment, however, it's really pretty - even the road is white. i feel a little bad for the kids stuck outside at soccer practice down at the park. ::shivers:: they look like they're having fun though. {g}
    i don't understand the obsession the weblog reviewers have with knowing exactly who a person is. most of the reviews that i've read make pointed comments if they can't find an "about me" page. it's as though they want a coles notes version of the person they're reading about, rather than learn through the entries themselves. why? yes, things are being posted in a public forum and you might not know exactly who you're reading about, but can't they accept the fact that these are peoples' personal journals as well? by "personal," that what's being posted isn't necessarily trying to cater towards an audience, but rather just giving a person an outlet to express their thoughts. maybe they like the anonymity the 'net gives them. maybe they just don't think that readers need to know more than what they'd glean from the journal itself. and really, what would you learn from a mini-description of yourself that you wouldn't learn from reading entries? age, sex, and that's about it, really. and is that really important? not as far as i can tell. some 13 year olds are great writers, some 22 year olds are awful. (some 22 year olds are amazing at procrastinating, though!) if it's an interesting journal, you'll keep reading, and you'll learn about the writer as you go. if there's no "i'm so wonderful!" page, it doesn't mean it's a bad journal. it just means that you might have to work a little more. oh the horror.

    that was about a paragraph longer than it needed to've been. ah well. back to papers!